I don't know what I'm hoping for on here but I'm so stressed and feel completely stuck .
I have been with my fiancé for 11 years . He has a horrible childhood which has understandably made him have issues as an adult . For the first few years he would constantly flip and walk out , smash things . Would say it's me who would make him feel this way .
One day he would love me more than anything and I would feel so content . Then he would take it all away . I basically craved his love because I never knew how long I would have it for .
One day he would be so happy then all
Of a sudden out of the blue stop talking to me and this would last for days . I'd be crying asking what have I done and again he would just flip .
All this made me I'll . I developed crippling anxiety. Would cry all the time constantly apologising for everything because I thought everything was my fault .
I stupidly stuck with this for 11 years ! But for the last 2 I finally went on anxiety medication and its basically saved my life . The only downfall is it's made me care a lot less . So when he plays up it doesn't upset me anymore which has made him ten times worse . He's threatened so many times to leave me unless I stop taking my tablets .
So 8 months ago I finally got the dog I have wanted since I was a little girl and he's my life . I never knew I could love something so much . He's a German shepherd and absolutely adorable. He's obsessed with me and has to be by my side 24/7.
Ever since we got him my partner has gotten worse . He's actually jealous of him . The dog sleeps in bed with us and my partner has slept on the sofa because of it .
Again he threatened to leave unless I ignore the dog . How can I ignore the dog when he's coming up to me wanting to sit on the sofa . I can't and would never do it .
He doesn't come for walks with us. But then winges that I spend all my time with the dog . I take him to beautiful places when I'm not working and on weekends but every morning and night we still have lovely walks . I have bagged my partner to come but he won't then has a go that I'm walking him too much .
He's told me to chose him or the dog . I chose the dog . He left but came back the next day .
So this weekend he accused me of saying something insulting to him which I didn't and he smashed my lamp shade at the wall . It was aimed at me . Then said I hope the dog dies !
At this point I tell him to leave and after ten minutes he gets his stuff and goes .
For the first time ever I felt relieved. Usually I'd be a mess thinking I'm not going to cope but this time was different. So this was Friday. Lastnight there was a knock at my door and it was him . In the same clothes that he left in and bawling his eyes out saying he's sorry .
I let him in ! And this morning I honestly can't believe I done it . I am so disappointed with my self . Two hours of being home he came to bed and instantly started having a go that the dog was in bed . I just thought here we go again .
I only let him back home because I felt sorry for him .
Has anyone only ever been with somone because they worry about them ? He's not mentally stable and I worry that he would harm himself . Also all his family died a few years ago . He has no friends . I'm basically all he has
Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody
Relationships
Absolutely hate my life
maybeinanoter86 · 24/01/2023 06:05
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