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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I ended things - 8 months pregnant

108 replies

Lindtcat · 21/01/2023 10:20

I ended things with him, I told him to leave. The last straw was last night when my daughter asked if she could have some of the sweets he bought and he said no because he bought them. She's 6. He's already like that with me but I can't let him be like that with my child. He called me a bitch and a tramp infront or my child. His sister threatened me. I'm eight months pregnant. How am I going to cope with another child alone? I'm at home. And I will be until the baby comes, I don't want to speak to any friends or family. I'm too embarrassed. My heart hurts. I love him but I can no longer do this anymore. Any advice on coping ? I want to message him and beg for him to come back but I won't. I can't believe I'm alone and going to have a second child now. It doesn't make any sense.

OP posts:
2catsandhappy · 22/01/2023 20:11

So sorry you have had this happen to you. He is a total scumbag. Put your mind at rest, he won't be having baby because he hasn't got a pram or cot or car seat or anything else. He never intended to buy anything and he won't. Until he has a kitted out nursery and his own supplies you tell him no way. Don't fund him.
I bet he tries to get parental leave as an extra holiday too, he is a tight fisted knob. Keep him away from the labour room, off the birth certificate and get your claim in.
I have been a single parent too. I wish and wish I had put a claim in, don't be me!

Lindtcat · 24/01/2023 00:40

With everyone's advice I managed to get mostly everything for the baby with the help of a Facebook group in my area. Just got some last bits to pick up this week. Thank you so much for all your advice. I'm feeling stronger now and more prepared now that I have everything for baby. I will definitely be giving the baby my surname and putting in a claim for CMS as soon as he is born. He is blocked and will remain that way until the baby is born, I'm doing fine without him. Smile

OP posts:
Whatsrheday · 24/01/2023 05:51

Not sure if this is correct but if he’s not on the birth certificate then he doesn’t get parental rights (unless he applies)

Fightingbackwithhappiness · 24/01/2023 07:17

That is such good news! Go You!
your kids are lucky to have you 💜

OhCobblers · 24/01/2023 08:13

@Lindtcat you've not mentioned not doing it but for your own sake and baby sake keep his name off the BC.
I've been on MN long enough to know how much of a weapon some parents use their "parental rights".
Even if he didn't you don't know what his family might do to push him to get access.
Your child will always know who their father is - up to you to reveal as little or as much at an appropriate age.

uncomfortablydumb53 · 24/01/2023 15:57

Brilliant update I'm glad you've collected bits from FB, there are some real bargains there
Don't put your ex on the birth Certificate, he would need to be with you in person anyway so don't worry about that

MissMarplesbag · 15/02/2023 18:33

Have you had the baby yet op?

Giraffe888 · 15/02/2023 19:53

How are you doing? X

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