Hurt by ‘d’h comments

[Sunshinesometimes]

I just need to know if I’m overreacting please.
my ‘d’h saw a doll online that was in a wheelchair and commented “why would someone want a doll that’s already broke”
I thought it was a shit comment to start with but even worse because I am disabled and have a wheelchair although I don’t need to use it often.
I was shocked at him and he just keeps going on that comedians do jokes like that all the time. I want to scream at him that he’s not a fucking comedian cos he’s always doing other ‘jokes’ that are equally as shit but I’ll just be accused of being a fun sponge but I really feel inside like he’s crossed a line somehow and I’m sick of it.
He is actually lovely most of the time but just seems to always be thinking he’s a comedian and I just want an actual adult husband who can have a normal conversation without stupid comments.
For example he is watching footie on Tv and every time there’s a minute silence before the game he doesn’t shut up with comments about it I’m like it’s respect for gods sake aargh

An anology:
My gd is 7, she has Type1 diabetes, after she’d been moved to the childrens ward after leaving critical care, the diabetic team gave her teddy bear: his name is Rufus, he has T1D too, he has coloured patches on his arms and legs and one on his tummy. These correspond with insulin injection sites. He came with a dummy syringe.
GD has been fitted with a Dexcom Glucose monitor on her arm. Santa brought her a new teddy, his name is Dexta, he has a dummy g/monitor on his arm. These teddy’s have helped her so much, she talks to them, does role playing, takes them to bed with her.
The doll in a wheelchair is fhe same league as Rufus and Dexta.

It's his sense of humour. He hit a nerve with you. Of course he should have been more sensitive. But why didn't you tell him?

There us nothing humoristique about that sort of comments.
It’s ableist and hurtful, NOT the OP being over sensitive on a certain subject so it ‘hit anerve’

OP, pretty much any comedian who is well regarded will 'punch up not down', or their jokes will be self deprecating, ie about themselves not other people.

The 'humour' your DH is referring to would result in modern comedians being cancelled. It's the type of shit most people left behind in the 70s.

You deserve better.

It’s genuinely not because I’m disabled I thought wtf.
It was because I really just thought why the hell does your brain think of stuff like that to say.
it’s tiring always having to explain the shit he comes out with and make excuses for him but It just felt like a no I’m not gonna ignore it this time it’s just not normal

He completely thinks he’s a comedian it’s like his brain is constantly thinking of jokes or sarcastic comments to make about anyone or anything.

The thing about comedians is that it's a job- they stop doing it when they go off stage.

No one wants to listen to that all the time.

Really good point, I’m going to try to put this across thanks

You're getting some very odd responses here op.

I can't decide if he's an absolute fuckwit or a total c*not, or both.

All I know is I bet he wouldn't be all chilled and happy if you made comments about some perceived weakness or issue of his.

If he thinks he's a comedian or trying to be one; he's pretty fkg shit at it.

If it was just that one comment I'd assume it was a joke that didn't land and crack on. It is acceptable in some mainstream comedy circles (as are jokes on race, sexuality and religion) and there are now plenty of disabled comedians who incorporate such thin ngs 8n their acts.

It's not my idea 9f comedy but I'll accept its there.

But it's more than just this one comment and it hurts you so it needs dealing with. What's your plan?

Yeah that would be it for me l am afraid. I suffer with a neurological disorder and know l will need a wheelchair one day, so this is a shit comment.

He sounds awful and really dim.

Your poor children with such a thick loser for a father.

No doubt he will be a source of growing embarrassment as they age.

I know, I’m tempted to show him this thread but what’s the point he’d prob throw my phone out the window once the penny dropped

Limesoda's shares your H's crass sense of what 'banter' is, so found his disgusting ableist comment funny.

That doesn't mean YOU are overreacting OP.
It means that, like your H, Limesoda has a poor excuse for a sense of humour, a total lack of empathy, & are more concerned with broadcasting their own snide pleasure on your discomfort, than in wondering how the comment made you feel.

You're not overreacting - they are cruel & out of order.

She did. RTFT.