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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband isn't in love with me anymore. I'm devastated.

103 replies

Kimcatiko · 13/01/2023 13:20

My husband told me he loves me, but isn't in love with me anymore. I've asked him if he still wants to try and work through things and he doesn't want to. I'm devastated. I'm still in love with him the same way as I was when we met.

We've been together almost 15 years, married for 2 and have an 11 month old son. I feel as though I've been blind to this. He told me he was unhappy a few months ago, but wasn't open to counselling, individual or couples. He suddenly stopped being intimate with me. I said to him he didn't even try to stay connected, and he said he just didn't want to. I had refrained from looking at his phone, but since he has said he doesn't want to work on things I decided to have a look. There was nothing on there that I could find and he said he hasn't met anyone else.

I look back on texts from the summer and see how loving he was, remember how loving he was and just feel as though maybe I did something wrong. I also don't know what to do. I never envisioned a life without him, there were still many things I wanted to do with him. He was my best friend. My mum and sister keep saying he needs to leave and I know he does, but I also don't want him to. I feel so pathetic. Any advice would be appreciated...

OP posts:
AStepAtaTime · 14/06/2024 17:27

Unless their partners are absolutely horrible, men don't tend to leave for an empty bed.

This. He’s met someone else - you need to let him go and focus on you and baby now

NecessaryNC24 · 14/06/2024 17:32

Zombie thread.

LordSnot · 14/06/2024 17:36

It's probably nothing to do with you and everything to do with the baby. Either he can't be arsed being a parent or he doesn't like that you now pay attention to the baby instead of him. He's found a childless woman so he can go back to that kind of life. Prepare for him to do his best to get out of any maintenance payments and to see the baby minimally.

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