Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

New Fab & Glam (Part 3 - The Quest Continues!)

1001 replies

Paddlechick666 · 05/02/2008 10:18

Here we go ladies!

OP posts:
Tanee58 · 25/02/2008 17:34

Dyeing?

Tanee58 · 25/02/2008 17:34

Freudian slip?

TimeForMe · 25/02/2008 17:53

Good post Tanee! xx

Baffy · 25/02/2008 19:27

Good post Tanee. Totally agree

Off out to a gig tonight... oops... looks like the dumping may be postponed for another day...

Have a nice evening everyone xxx

Dior · 25/02/2008 20:55

Message withdrawn

TimeForMe · 26/02/2008 09:28

Hi Dior! Not quite at the freezer stage yet, am just drawing in the reigns a little, i don't want him slipping back into his previous bad habits! I may just oil the miner though...... just in case!

I am sooooo pleased for you you know. It's lovely to read your posts and you sound to be in a really good place at the moment. You have done so well in turning your rlationship around. From reading your previous threads I realise it took a lot of courage for you say 'no more' and make plans to leave. I am so glad things worked out for you. Wow, 8 days free of man mess! Ooh all that peace and quiet, how lovely! Make sure you make the most of every minute! xx

Good morning to everyone else

Baffy · 26/02/2008 10:30

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TANEE!!
Hope you have a lovely day. What are you up to?

Thanks for the comments Dior. I really do want to be alone (this is coming from the woman that a short while ago couldn't stand the thought of being alone!! Now I want that more than anything!!)

I don't even know if I want H. Saw him last night. He really is a shaddow of the man I married.

Time will tell hey...

I'm really looking forward to the 16th. Thinking of coming down the day before, perhaps stay with my friends on the Saturday night, then see you all on the Sunday. Can't wait.

Who's definitely going? Baffy, PC, HW, Dior, Macdoodle, Tanee. Sugar? Ginnedup? lilybubble? lilyloo?

Paddlechick666 · 26/02/2008 13:38

afternoon all

crazy morning so haven't had time to come on and post.

tbh, i think i will update FB tonight with more intimate details of what was said etc.

Short precis is that H arrived early and dd was overjoyed to see him. parents evening went well and dd got a good report altho how could she not

I did bring up the topic of divorce and essentially H said he had no feelings one way or another

Both agreed that the saddest part was that he didn't feel strongly either way. He just wants the current situation to persist. I kinda feel the same, we are getting on pretty well on the whole.

We sat down with a year planner and started working out regular access dates/times etc (i reserved our lunch date don't worry!).

We continued to chat this morning and he says he's 60/40 for not getting divorced but he understands where I'm coming from.

that sort of indifference just makes me want to press ahead and get it sorted tbh.

clearly he is still pretty troubled and altho the whole scenario makes me very sad i respect him for his honesty. at least he's no longer saying what he thinks i want to hear.

anyways, there's more detail that i don't want to put on MN so will try to get FB updated tonight.

Tanee very very very happy birthday!

OP posts:
Kewcumber · 26/02/2008 13:41

GATECRASH

Paddle - come and talk to me I'm Booooooooored...

Paddlechick666 · 26/02/2008 13:47

what? come around to your house and talk to you?

i am mental mental mental busy at work!

i'll pop over onto the Local thread now tho.

OP posts:
Kewcumber · 26/02/2008 13:49

noo I'm in work - supposed to be working but my brain has exploded and won't work. Go to thread and discuss cake icing...

Baffy · 26/02/2008 14:04

PC I'll go on FB tonight

Think you're probably right, if he really doesn't have strong feelings either way then what are you waiting for... why let this man hold you back any longer. Press on with the divorce and a new wonderful life, and maintain the current friendship and contact you have with him.

At least that way dd gets a relationship with him and you get to protect your heart and go forward.

All I'm doing is going round in circles at the moment and it's killing me!

It's great when you finally start getting some honesty though isn't it. As much as the truth hurts sometimes, it doesn't hurt half as much as the lies!!

Paddlechick666 · 26/02/2008 14:10

Kew, I popped in but the intellectual level of cake icing is too much for my poor overloaded brain.

I intend to stay here and hide out from explaining the mechanics of cryptography and the concept of public/private key infrastructures...........

Baffy, I meant to say that to you the other day. You just know when you're finally getting the truth from them don't you? Their whole demeanour changes.

There is a certain relief in that, and I have found it leads to a certain lack of care even if they are still "avoiding" the truth. in may case at least.

OP posts:
TimeForMe · 26/02/2008 14:16

Hi PC, I agree with Baffy 100%. Press ahead!

I do feel a bit sad that he seems to be so 'couldn't care less' about it though. I wonder if he will feel quite so the same when you meet a NM xx

Paddlechick666 · 26/02/2008 15:56

TFM, I feel very sad about it too. Trying not to take it personally but that's a bit silly isn't it as it must be personal!

OP posts:
Baffy · 26/02/2008 16:00

Yes, I do think you can tell. The lies are still hard to spot. But when you're getting the full truth you can see it in their eyes. I think it's like a weight's been lifted for them too, because the effort it takes to maintain those webs of lies must be awful.

H has a crap memory too. He'd often pop out to get something and come home with something totally different!

Pity the stupid arse learnt how to use his memory via having an affair!!

Baffy · 26/02/2008 16:04

And don't feel sad about it. I'd bet my life he's not as indifferent as he makes out.

I think he's a coward, who is willing to let you make this decision because he is not able.

He's not capable of giving you the love you deserve right now, for 1 reason. Because he doesn't love himself. And how can you even begin to love those around you when you can't bare to look at yourself in the mirror.

I bet that the minute this becomes reality, and he realises that you have totally moved on (and may find a NM who not only loves you and makes you happy, but is there 100% for dd)... he will be sorry. Not just sorry. But it will tear him apart.

He's too short sighted just now to see that.

xx

TimeForMe · 26/02/2008 16:11

No PC, I don't think it's personal, I think it's more about him than it is about you, let's face it, it's always about them!

Dior · 26/02/2008 19:03

Message withdrawn

Paddlechick666 · 26/02/2008 20:26

lol dior, i think TFM means the mincer

baffy, tbh i think you're right. he doesn't love himself at all at the moment.

tfm, bloody right it's all about them!

wish i had time to update FB as a lot of what i would say would bear that statement out.

work is crazy tho and i have to go into the city tomorrow so i am doing some work at home now, then i need to eat. need to shower tonight to save time in the morning too.

sorry for being a tease but don't think FB is going to happen tonight.

OP posts:
Paddlechick666 · 26/02/2008 20:28

oh, and did i mention the laundry?

OP posts:
TimeForMe · 27/02/2008 08:15

Good morning Ladies

HUH! PC! Was so looking forward to the FB update, you tease, you!

Yes Dior, I did mean mincer although oiling of the miner sounds a lot more fun

Well, did the earth move for anyone last night? I was woken at 12.58am by my bed shaking and trembling, I thought I had a poltergeist! But no, twas the earthquake

Wishing everyone good day xx

Dior · 27/02/2008 09:50

Message withdrawn

TimeForMe · 27/02/2008 10:08

Ooh it was quite an experience Dior. The whole room felt as though it was moving, well, it probably was. My bed was definately moving!!

HappyWoman · 27/02/2008 10:11

No movements here either . I didnt realise you were in that part of the country TFM.

Hi everyone - starting to plan my garden again - probably becuse the sun is shinning.

Have a good day everyone.

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is not accepting new messages.