New Fab & Glam (Part 3 - The Quest Continues!)

[Paddlechick666]

Here we go ladies!

No problem HW, rant away. Glad it's not just me!

I just don't know what has posessed this man to let her into his life on this scale. To the extent that it has jeapordised his relationship with his baby (something he knew would happen from last February when I very first saw her face to face and realised how unstable she was).
He knew the consequences. I accepted him seeing anyone but her. Anyone normal. But he didn't care. Just carried on regardless.

Or perhaps he didn't believe I'd have the strength to really follow it through and I would forgive him again.

But not this time. I can take anything he throws at me. I'll bounce back from it all. But I just won't risk my baby seeing one of her outbusrts. I just can't put my son at that risk.

And what's all this been for really? He doesn't want her. So all of this for what, for sex?!
I just can't believe it.

ooh x-posted lots
let me catch up...

Thanks Dior. After those texts on Saturday I was pretty angry - I think if she'd have been close by I probably would have punched her! It takes all my strength but I really don't want to stoop to her level.

Hi sugar, thanks for that. I think she is paranoid, she hates me being with GW, I have a text which says how jealous she is of me and how in every argument they had, my name would come up. This was a little while ago. I'm afraid I did reply to that and just say yes, that's because you can never compare to me

I try not to get drawn in though. But I'm only human, I have to snap sometimes
The reason why I've never changed my number before now is because I only ever find out the truth when she goes off on one and contacts me. Then H admits what's happening. I feel like she's the one person in the world who tells me the truth! (Well her version of it - but you know what I mean!!)

and thanks pc, I am taking it all in. I need to find some of your strength.

Do you think mumsnet will add our abbreviations to their list?! GW and GT are good ones!!

Baffy i think you have done an amazing job of retaining your dignity. Me on the other hand is a different story id have snapped her scraggy neck by now!

And your reply was spot on she could never compare to you.

Being fair to gw which is more than he deserves. I dont think he realised the extent of this nutjob. If he had surely he wouldnt have put you and ds in its way. He now has to get out of his self pitying sorry ass state and get shot of her. she will pursue him relentlessly but he needs some back bone to tell her to walk

Im so frigging for you can you tell

Im not to be messed with with pmt looming

me again, escaping from horrendous situ in work, changing your number is the absolute ultimate in control.

her version of events or GW's version of events really aren't relevant any longer.

how much more do you need to know?

you've drawn up divorce papers and you've got a NM.

even if you still have a hope for a future (and it may even work out one day) for now you're moving on and living your life and being a fantastic parent.

as for me being strong, i'd say it's pretty evident that i'm not. but h doesn't really know that. only you guys do! as far as he's concerned i've appeared strong and in control then come on here and FB and ranted/raved and wept with the pain and the frustration and the grief of it all.

but having you guys has helped me maintain that level of distance that finally seems to be producing some results (daren't speak too soon tho!).

keep your old number if that helps. make yourself a promise to check it once per week and when H's behaviour has improved and is consistent and he understand what being an absent parent means (no more Thomas days out dipping his toe into the happy family fantasy when it suits him) then wait one more month then BIN the phone!

oh and just an added titbit from our frank and open conversation last week h never ever thought that his psycho would ever do anything so awful as to contact me.

men are so feckin stupidly ridiculously clueless.

they think a skank who's prepared to get involved with lying cheating married fathers would have the decency to stay in the background and not drag anyone else into it!

honestly, if i thought about it like this all day and every day i'd need Tenna pants!

Baffy

You do have your dignity and that is something else she will not be able to take from you.

I do think gw thinks you will forgive him agian and again but surely he must now know he really has pushed you to the limit.

I am really mad here for you can she not see that he really is not worth fighting over now - no offence but she is so insecure and i think you should 'play' on that now .

PC you are doing so well too and i hope you are feeling more empowered to have taken some control wrt to divorce.

Dior you cards are lovely you really do have a talent - i can only dream of getting a bit of space to do anything for myself at the moment.

Baffy (says she avoiding all the phone calls she should be making ) - yes, keep a record of all the texts - if possible, just keep saving them on your sim card as they can then be produced in evidence.

But DON't respond - that will KILL her (evil ) - replying just feeds her insanity and it's what she wants (I learned a lot from my stalker). She obviously seriously unhinged, so nothing you say will stop her coming back at you with more poison.

I almost feel sorry for GW for being involved with a bunny boiler ... almost.... but not quite !

Why do men think that - these are woman who they hardly know? And yet they 'trust' them not to 'get involved' in the fallout.

Silly silly men - when should we start teaching our sons? They need to learn fairly early on just how 'clever' woman are and not to think they can control everything.

Hi everyone

Gosh Baffy, do you ever just have a normal boring weekend like everyone else!

I totally agree with what everyone else has said. (that was easy wasn't it I do think it's a damn shame though that the little trollop managed to tarnish what seemed to be a lovely day.
I think maybe GW proudly told her he had spent the day with you and ds because he was happy that he had done so, he used this to try and further get his message across to her that its over between them. He probably never thought she may fire a load of crap at you, he's not called Gutless Wonder for nothing you know

If I was to give you one piece of advice to go with the rest of the wise words, it would be not to be put off having days out with GW just because of her, you carry on enjoying yourself. If you put an end to it then she will have acjieved what she set out to achieve, she will have put a stop to you seeing GW. Do not give her the satisfaction! In fact, arrange a nice day out for the weekend and send her a text "Hi, just to let you know that DH and I will be spending a lovely day together this weekend. We will not be thinking of you! Have a good one!"
See how she likes it!!

All that aside, you keep up the good work. Hope NM is behaving himself!

excellent advice there baffy, But after your text to her she will obviously phone/text gw. Tell him he is allowed one quick answer or text back to her then he must turn off his phone if he wants to enjoy the day with you and ds.

You turn yours off too and the 3 of you have a wonderful time whilst gt spontaniously combusts with rage!

sugarpear!

GW should get some balls and tell her to get over herself then get lost! She thinks she's a lolly and everyone wants a lick! Sad, mad, girl!

loving the advice here

tfm you make me

off to make ds's tea but will be back soon!!

That's my job!

You go for it baffy - i wanted to say have some more good days/evenings/times with gw but thought you would all think i was mad to suggest it so thanks TFM (we really are alike arent we?).

Dont feel bad about having some fun with him - if ds is enjoying it then that is all that counts - gw can see ds you get to supervise who ds has contact with and you get to really piss ow off . Sounds like a win/win situation to me all round.

Good idea about the phone though get him to give you his phone too. If that is taking it too far go somewhere where you know there is no signal!!! (its crap round here if you fancy a whole weekend of it).

Why am i feeling so evil today?

Do you think she will 'come after you'? If she does make sure you have a camcorder to hand. Not only for evidence but to 'share' on You Tube.

Yes HW, I do believe we are I ordered that book you recommended on that other thread too, The Rules of Life. It came today so am going to start reading it tonight. I've had a scan of it and can't wait to get started. It seems a really good book, just up my street

Baffy, when you are enjoying a day out with GW, why don't you put a ban on phones, after you have sent slutguts a text though

Tis funny you should mention being evil today HW, for that is just how I am feeling!

well i think we do need to update MN abbreviations now!

GT - guttertramp
DHH - dickheadhusband
SG - slutguts
GW - gutlesswonder

LOL, keep adding ladies!

well, i'm not about to risk falling out with TFM or HW over this one so you go ahead and spend family time with GW and ds if you'd like to.

but, my one caveat would be to not plan anything too family oriented for a week or two.

let GW experience some challenges and make him work for it!

TFM

The book is really go - easy to read and dip in and out of. I actually sent the authour and email (which is something i have never done before). I totally could not keep to rule 1 which i am sure you will not be able to either .

I do hope you enjoy it though - as i found it really useful at a very bad time in my life.

Let me know how you get on.

really good!

I honestly don't know how far she'll actually go. Would she turn up at my house or physically threaten me... I think so. If it suited her agenda. I'm under no illusions where she's concerned. She'll go to any lengths to get what she wants. And if she doesn't get it, she'll destroy everything around her in revenge.

One of the messages to me (she did send a LOT!!) said that I had had a 'perfect' life, perfect family, good career, perfect baby - and maybe I needed to 'learn' that real life is not like that... wtf! she's had a messed up life, I've worked bloody hard to build a good life, and she feels she's somehow done me a favour in showing me that the world isn't always a good place... like I said, I think she's sick.

And I wouldn't put anything past her. Including physically hurting me and H, and even snatching ds. She had a traumatic miscarriage a few years ago (aged 16/17 I think) and I dread to think how it's affected her. All along she's taunted me with how, one day, she'll be ds's 'mum'.

In a way I guess I'd be scared about 'winding her up' in case she really did go off on one! I worry that if one of these overdoses works one day, and there's nasty messages from me on her phone, I will somehow become the bad guy and I'll have to live with that guilt.

I wouldn't give her the satisfaction.

But I will continue to see H and let him see ds. It will no doubt get back to her!

Sad in a way that I never did know about their relationship, I could have had some real fun with that 'knowing' how insecure she is. I'd have made their lives hell. In the nicest possible way!

wow it's moving too fast for me today!

lol pc - and don't worry. I fully intend to let GW see ds, but I will make him work for it! He doesn't need to know that I'm planning on letting him see ds anyway does he

" be ds's mum"? When hell freezes over comes to mind!

Baffy Have you ever shown gw these texts she send you? If not maybe worth a think about.

So, we could say that the DHH spots a GT, decides to try is luck. SG soon beomes OW and GW fails to tell DW. Got it!

Yes, HW, I will let you know how I get on, i'm intrigued with chapter one now, wondering what it is that we can't stick to. Not about giving up chocolate is it?

Hi PC >