New Fab & Glam (Part 3 - The Quest Continues!)

[Paddlechick666]

Here we go ladies!

Yes, I understand what you are saying about Ernest's DH but, i gave him the benefit of the doubt because a) he is away from home at the moment and b) at least he did do something. We have to keep the positivity flowing here ladies

I like the idea of the vouchers Baffy. I tried something similar one time and DP asked if I did a 2 for 1

you lot are so wonderful. I do feel better today, thank you.

Thanks to tfm great advice i sent him another sms apologising for stroppy one and he called me straight away and was nice and said we must talk this w/e. Throuble is, I only see him 1.5 days pw , so only have 1 evening a week, so don't usually want even to have a serious conversation, so it feels like our only time together is 'serious'. SO I avoid mentioning it. It's another reason I agreed to move. The pressure on the relationship to be so far apart so much is huge. It affects everything.

ANyway, glad some of you haveing nice valentine treats. my vd's ended 10 years ago when I got married on 13th Feb.

Dior, that's exactly what I mean tho - the fact your dh put hat effort in to get you something you specifically like...

pc, glad you feel it went well, been trying to catch up a bit, you all move so quickly
Hope it does work out the way yu want it

I know you were being positive - totally agree. That's why I was a bit apprehensive about posting that! But I just don't know when to keep my big mouth shut sometimes!
Totally agree that at least he did do something. Even if a little misguided. Better than nothing

PMSL I like DP's style!

Glad you feel a bit better ernest.

Totally understand about the strain it must put on you to have so little time together. The pressure to make that time full of happiness means you have to bottle up all the bad stuff.
I think this move will do you both the world of good.

And glad TFM's advice about the text worked so well

Ernest, do not avoid talking about what is improtant to you. So, you only have one evening, set aside 1 hour where you can talk about 'matters', set the alarm on your mobile and when it goes off thats it! Serious stuff over! And get down to having some fun!

Oh Baffy, my DP is a star! Unique! Some of the stuff he comes out with I don't know whether to laugh or cry. The thing is, he is serious!!

You should never be worried about posting what you feel. I am sure we would all prefer an honest opinion rather than a gentle 'there. there'. I'm only saying that because I can't keep my big gob shut either!

By the way Ernest, it might seem a bit mean to you but don't worry if DH doesn't get his say within the hour. You send him away to think about what you have said and then the next time you meet up the hour is his to respond to your words. Doing it this way also prevents any arguments, you get 'calm' time inbetween sessions

It's me again, I just had to tell you of something which I think was lovely and romantic of DP.

Last Sunday I wanted to go for a walk, I hadn't been out in over 3 weeks due to being ill so I was dying for some fresh air. DP hates walking with a vengence but, he put on his boots and came with me! He didn't tell me it was to keep an eye on me, to make sure i would be ok but, I knew it was. We had a lovely walk and then, when we got back he cooked tea! It really did get my week off to a good start and made me feel so happy with him

TFM that's lovely! 5 gold stars for Mr TFM!
It's those little things that really count isn't it

awww, TFM that is so nice. You deserve it too!

Really want to tell more about what happened last night and explain why I think it was so positive but can't get FB till this eve.

I did get a lovely Grand Prix rose, a packet of love hearts adn a lindor chocolate. He tried to say teh love hearts were for dd!

It was a good start but I made sure the first hour was very much down to business and tried to get him to open up.

Some of what he said I've heard before (and I told him so) but some of it was new but very much overdue. He tried very hard not to retreat into the old "this is so hard for me" mode which has been the theme from the start.

Dior, I agree, I don't think he has major depression anymore. I do think he is still recovering from the effects of it tho.
I don't think he feels he has the right to fight for me and I also don't think he is ready to win that fight.

We have 6 months before he has to make any major decisions so we'll see if we can maintain a good friendship and if he keeps his word with access etc.

PC post it here, let me read it and then get it deleted

Thank you ladies

PC that all sounds really good, I am so pleased for you. Looks like another late night for me then, waiting for you to post on FB

Baffy! Get that blooming computer fixed! Can't you borrow a laptop from work?

I can borrow my work laptop but have to logon via the work server I think (which blocks access to social networking sites )
PC you might be the best person to ask about that - if I take my work laptop home can I just plug in our broadband and use it as we would our home pc? Is that dangerous? Am I opening it up to viruses etc by doing that? Can my IT department tell I've done it?

So glad work haven't discovered MN!

hoping computer will be fixed tonight. but the spotty little computer geek my sister's friend, is taking a bit longer than expected!

How are you today Baffy? Is our love for you filling the void

Any word from GW today? My turn to be nosey now

I think you would have to install your broadband suppliers disc thing first wouldn't you? I may be wrong (but it's not often I am ) then when you've finished you could just uninstall it!
Would the IT department be actually looking for the fact you have used it for personal use. How mean! Maybe you should give one of the blokes a wink at lunchtime, get him onside

I'm avoiding my own problems TFM. Could you tell?! Are you psychic?! Or a witch?!

I'm ok. Few texts from GW. Apologies. Promises it'll never happen again. Have heard it all before though. I'm extremely low when I think of the lengths he's gone to in order to see this girl. Who he's now realised does nothing but bring him misery.

But I guess I feel like he wouldn't stop until he'd destroyed every aspect of his life. He wouldn't listen to anyone's advice, and only stopped when he had had enough. I guess we all learn by our mistakes. And often the hard way. But his lies to me, all for that girl, just make me feel totally worthless. She makes me somehow feel like I'm not good enough. Like she won. And I can't possibly measure up.
I was his wife, gave him everything, and our beautiful son, and some slpper took that all away from us. Or rather, he* took that all away from us, by allowing her into his life. But why? And why did she win?

So... I block it out and carry on like I'm ok. That's easiest for now

I'm intuiative but, I can be a bit of a witch at a certain time of the month

FWIW I think you are amazing, but you already know that because I've told you loads of times
If I could wish just one thing for you it would be that you didn't feel worthless, not good enough and that she has won. I wish for you to see that all of this says more about GW than it does about you.
I do understand though that, with time, you will realise that you were powerless when it came to avoiding all of this mess because GW never gave you the chance. The git!

Hi Everyone. Happy Valentines Day!
I got a card (dp never sends cards ) the Big Brain Academy game for the Wii and a box of M&S Walnut Whips! All stuff I wanted so can't complain. We are going to a Thai restaurant for a meal tonight too!
Baffy, your last post is so . Of course you are good enough, you are beautiful, inside and out and you were a wonderful wife to your H. It's his fault all of this, and she hasn't won at all. She's a screwed up little cow and one day I hope she feels the hurt she has caused you.
Thanks for the advice TFM. You are right, I must tell her, but I'm dreading it. I've got a feeling she'll think I'm jealous and trying to poison her relationship because my own is on the skidders. I'll take the risk though, because like you say I'll feel terrible if she finds out and I knew all along. Still I've a feeling this could be the end of the friendship
Glad it went well last night PC and hope his attitude changes now and you two can start to rebuild your friendship again.
Dior - your blog is amazing! I love your cross stitching. You are one very talented lady!!

Thats lovely Ginnedup I am so pleased that your DH made the effort. Your plans for this evening sound nice too. As for your friend, I hope she is able to see that you are thinking of her best interests and trying to prevent her from getting hurt. Let us know how you get on xx

"if I take my work laptop home can I just plug in our broadband" and use it as we would our home pc? yes
Is that dangerous? yes
Am I opening it up to viruses etc by doing that? yes
Can my IT department tell I've done it? yes

It's not worth the risk Baffy, if you used it at home and it got infected then you stuck it back on your work network and crashed the whole system you'd be in big trubble!

Of course, the liklihood of this happening is pretty slim and chances are you'd get away with and IT wouldn't bother to look.

IMO it's not worth it tho.

go to pcworld or dell and buy a sparkly new machine

btw baffy, i feel the same stuff as you and my confidence and world view have taken a serious knock because of it.

at least h seemed prepared to acknowledge the consequences of his actions on me for the first time last night. previously he's always just brushed it off, wouldn't confront it, wanted to stop talking about it because it was too hard for him to face.

anyways, more on FB later. i feel like i'm doing a trailer for a soap!

Ginned, great news. Hope you have a lovely evening. am of thai!

PC thanks for the advice! I'll avoid that then! Just heard from spotty kid fantastic computer guy and our computer is ready - yippee! So I'll be on FB tonight!!!

Ginnedup what lovely thoughtful gifts. So pleased there's so many and positive stories on here today. Thai too!

I never got anything from H and I'm totally happy with that! Haven't got his duplicate cards and false promises!
Although, my mum's just texted me, NM called into my mum's and put a bottle of champagne in the fridge for me for when I get in tonight! Which was lovely of him! I love champagne so that's really thoughtful. Even though I rejected his invitation of a romantic night together So FB and champagne for me tonight!!

Ginnedup your post to me just then made me cry. In a good way. But thank you.

PC and TFM thank you for your support too. I'm trying not to let them kill my confidence forever. I'll get there in the end...

So it's champagne and Fb for Baffy, Milky coffee and Fb for me, this better be good PC1
What time shall we gather??

I could have some champagne too - well some Cava I have in the fridge at least ;-)

How about 8:30pm tonight on FB ladies?

8.30 sounds good to me!

If I have 1 too many glasses and then take ds up to bed I can't actually guarantee I'll be awake at 8.30! But I'll do my best!

on the chat thread 'what did you get for valentines day' or something like that there is someone called "time4me"