thanks ladies, i am trying to imagine scenarios where i keep quiet but even in my head that's tricky! god knows if i'll manage it tonight.
baffy, whatever gets you thru mate. no tickings off from me! the range of emotions are perfectly normal.
you and i are at the beginning of the "redefinition road" i think. that's why our emotionas are all over the place and why there is still a part of us that wonders if there can be a future.
had our relationships broken down in a normal (what is that anyway!) way then we probably wouldn't be riding the rollercoaster that we are.
when i wobble, i keep coming back to the Teabags wise words about shaping my own future and taking back control thus defining how i choose to be treated in future.
several times i've wished i could just say to H "can't we have a normal separation like other people" but given that we clearly didn't have a "normal" marriage it hasn't been possible.
fwiw, i think H is struggling with this redefinition too which is explains his mixed messages.
i just have to stay on my own track tho and not let his behaviour de-rail me.
if NM is making you feel good and as long as you're up front and honest about where you're at, what you want and what you expect then i don't see the harm.
the main thing is that you don't get hurt any more by anybody!