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Original poster

The gardener - an update!

152 replies

Cherryblossom200 · 12/01/2023 20:53

Hi all,

About a year ago I posted on here and a guy who lives around the corner from me who I thought was rather lovely looking! He drives a white van with an open top so I thought he was a gardener of some sort.

I'm obviously single and some of you encouraged me to try and find a way to chat to him. There were all kinds of hilarious suggestions such as asking if he could prune my bushes etc etc 😂

Anyway I did try one of them which was to pretend I was looking for my cat. Yes I know a bit nuts but I tried it. This was about a year ago, I knocked on what I thought was his door and a girl answered, so I assumed he had a gf and just gave up on the idea. However I didn't realise the house was split into flats and his door was around the corner.

Zoom forward to today and my fence had blown down over night - it sort of connects to another neighbours fence which could of been his. I wasn't sure. So Without even thinking about what I knocked on a few of the flats doors asking who owned the fence and he answered!

He looked a little sheepish and said straight away that he had a bee sick all night with food poisoning. I said I could call back another time but just wanted to know if it was his fence as it had blown on top of a car. He then said he would help me lift the fence off the car and try and secure it.

I kept saying not to worry especially as he had been so ill that night. He was super friendly and told me what he did work wise and just a really nice guy! He then said he would go to his yard and pop back with some wood to secure it for me until I got it fixed properly. I kept saying he doesn't need it do that as he is sick, but he refused and an hour later was fixing my fence.

His dad is a fencer (is that the right word?!) he puts fences up anyway! So he said he would get a quote from his dad for me, I said should I take his dads number and liaise with him directly but he said he would come back tomorrow and let me know what his dad says.

He could well have a gf and just being super friendly and neighbourly, but he seemed to really go out of his way to help me after puking all night?! He barely knows me 😂

OP posts:
Wayk · 15/01/2023 23:19

he Might be shy, hopefully he will call

Whatisthegoss · 16/01/2023 09:45

Your not crazy, you have an attraction & I loved your last years post.
Some people!
Go with whatever works for you as you are around him.
If not, he can be a new friend perhaps.
Keep us updated & don't let the miserable types put you off
Nor is single parenting leaving you unavailable ever.

Original poster
Cherryblossom200 · 16/01/2023 14:06

Thanks 😊

He hasn't been round yet, maybe he won't turn up. Knowing what I'm like I won't follow up and just leave it 😂

OP posts:
Zonder · 17/01/2023 07:17

Hope you bump into him today.

Original poster
Cherryblossom200 · 17/01/2023 19:27

He hasn't been around. He literally lives a minute away, so I suspect he isn't interested if he hasn't been over yet.

I'll leave it now I think. He is quite a good looking guy, early forties I think. I've never seen him with a woman. I always question these bachelors. My ex was a little like him, and he was a massive commitment- phobe. I don't think he will ever settle down.

OP posts:
Iwritethissittinginthekitchensink · 17/01/2023 19:37

Gosh you sound as bad as each other! 😂 (I sympathise - I’m similar)

But you’ve got absolutely nothing to lose if you think it’s a lost cause… why not take a risk and ask him out for a coffee, and if he declines at least you’ve got some closure there and got some practice under your belt for another time!

Original poster
Cherryblossom200 · 17/01/2023 21:21

Ha ha, I don't like forcing things (probably why I'm single!) but I'm one to try and let things happen naturally. Like they did last week.

OP posts:
QueenSmartypants · 17/01/2023 21:41

Iwritethissittinginthekitchensink · 17/01/2023 19:37

Gosh you sound as bad as each other! 😂 (I sympathise - I’m similar)

But you’ve got absolutely nothing to lose if you think it’s a lost cause… why not take a risk and ask him out for a coffee, and if he declines at least you’ve got some closure there and got some practice under your belt for another time!

I'm like you @Cherryblossom200 but I think @Iwritethissittinginthekitchensink is right. It's just the sort of nudge I'd need. You've nothing to lose and everything to gain. Asking him for a coffee isn't forcing it!

Original poster
Cherryblossom200 · 17/01/2023 21:44

Nope, not going to happen...😂

We live to close to one another and it was be so awkward!

OP posts:
QueenSmartypants · 17/01/2023 22:02

OK well I look forward to your thread next year when you report you've flirted over the bins 😂

Original poster
Cherryblossom200 · 17/01/2023 22:14

😂 quite possibly! In the meantime I need to find someone to fix my fence!

It's odd when you think about it, he was so helpful at first. Said he was going to come back with a quote the next day once he spoke to his dad and never turned up again! He could of just put a note through the door with his dads details taking him out of the equation. Very strange! x

OP posts:
QueenSmartypants · 17/01/2023 22:18

Can't you ask him for his dad's details?

Original poster
Cherryblossom200 · 17/01/2023 22:21

I just do t want to to bug him! If he wanted to give me the details he would have done. All he has to do is knock or pop a letter through the door (if he would rather speak to me directly). He drove past me while I was in the front garden on the weekend and didn't stop. I know when someone isn't interested 😂

OP posts:
Zonder · 17/01/2023 22:26

I think you can legitimately just ask him if he managed to get a quote for your fence, or if he could give you his dad's details to ask him directly.

That wouldn't be needy or pushy.

QueenSmartypants · 17/01/2023 22:27

He might have continued to be ill!

heartbroken22 · 18/01/2023 09:38

Well you know he's a timewaster. Ignore ignore ignore.

MrsPeas · 18/01/2023 11:13

Oo I've just had a really goodlooking neighbour move in too! Enjoying the view for now!

Have you thought that he may be thinking the same as you? Doesn't want to bug you? He may just lack the confidence to just go for it or could just be really busy. I sometimes just get wrapped up in work/life and these things go to the side.

Just go and knock and just ask if he happens to have that quote as you need it doing ASAP. Wishing you luck!

Original poster
Cherryblossom200 · 18/01/2023 13:27

But it makes no sense. If he isn't interested which is perfectly fine just post the quote with his dads number through my letter box! Simple. Not saying anything is just plain odd.

OP posts:
Trinity65 · 18/01/2023 13:44

Cherryblossom200 · 18/01/2023 13:27

But it makes no sense. If he isn't interested which is perfectly fine just post the quote with his dads number through my letter box! Simple. Not saying anything is just plain odd.

I agree OP

Original poster
Cherryblossom200 · 18/01/2023 14:05

Which is why I'm not interested in even getting a quote. I've met men like this guy and they tend to be all friendly, helpful and then very quickly their words don't match their actions.

So tbh if this is what he is like in business then I dread to think what he would be like in a relationship.

Im not interested in this type of man! A lot of the time this is why they are single.

OP posts:
Trinity65 · 18/01/2023 14:11

Cherryblossom200 · 18/01/2023 14:05

Which is why I'm not interested in even getting a quote. I've met men like this guy and they tend to be all friendly, helpful and then very quickly their words don't match their actions.

So tbh if this is what he is like in business then I dread to think what he would be like in a relationship.

Im not interested in this type of man! A lot of the time this is why they are single.

Cannot find the thumbs up emoji but I would have used that.

Conkered · 18/01/2023 14:28

You sound eminently sensible OP! Almost like you've read the MN Relationships Bible Grin

Original poster
Cherryblossom200 · 18/01/2023 14:36

Thanks! I think it's just experience 😂😂😂

It's a huge glaring red flag to me.

OP posts:
PinkFrogss · 18/01/2023 16:02

Do you think you could be reading too much into it OP? Maybe he’s been ill, maybe he’s forgotten, maybe he’s got something else going on.

Bit much to decide someone you hardly know but has helped you is a judge red flag etc just because they haven’t gotten round to giving you a fence quote from their dad yet!

fatsocatso · 19/01/2023 20:57

Cherryblossom200 · 18/01/2023 14:36

Thanks! I think it's just experience 😂😂😂

It's a huge glaring red flag to me.

Couldn't agree more! If he can't be arsed coming back with the quote, I would absolutely be leaving him to it and finding a quote elsewhere. And it would definitely put me off him romantically.