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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Friend doesn't see me as a dateable person

140 replies

somesadcrush · 11/01/2023 18:42

I was really happy today because I had a message from a guy I like, you know how it is, it's so exciting when you realise someone might like you back etc. (emphasis very much on "might"). Well, about an hour ago I phoned my friend to discuss the message and I was expecting her to be happy for me. Instead she got really worked up and just acted as though the message from the guy was ridiculous but also scary and something to be worried about, i.e. she didn't see that he might be interested in me at all. She just said things like "well, that's very worrying" and "I'd be very careful" and her tone of voice was almost angry. I mean, sure be careful, but what a strange way to react to your friend telling you about something possibly happening with someone they've met.

Her reaction has absolutely floored me but it's made me realise she doesn't see me as someone that a man might be interested in at all, her bizarre reaction showed that. I don't have a history of getting involved with strange men or anything. All I can think is that as I've been single for a long time now, she just sees me as someone who no-one is interested in. Which, while I am single, isn't the case. I'm not good-looking but I get my fair share of men interested in me for my age etc.

Absolutely stumped with this one but it's really brought me down and made me think, "Wait, maybe I am this eternally single person". But it's almost made me think that I don't know if I should be friends with someone who sees me as someone who no-one would be interested in.

What a bizarre thing to happen 😕 Welcome any insight into this! I'm not sure what on earth just happened!

OP posts:
Ineedtosleep79 · 11/01/2023 21:41

I am invested in this thread 😭

It's too mysterious.

SuperHandss · 11/01/2023 21:43

Ineedtosleep79 · 11/01/2023 19:54

What was the fucking emoji? 😂 tell us please!

Was it 😎

Exactly. Why so mysterious? I’m kinda seeing how she might be worried about you 😂

Internetstranger · 11/01/2023 21:49

If a guy asks you for coffee, that’s a date unless he makes it very clear that it isn’t. Sounds like someone likes you OP!

Be careful with this ‘friend’. My best friend from age 16-25 was better looking and more popular than me. I’m perfectly fine looking and have friends lol but she was next level up. But she did have a habit of making slightly catty remarks to my face with a little laugh to make clear it was ‘only a joke’. It slowly escalated over the years and she tried hard to get me to break up with a couple of boyfriends (one has been DH for 20 yrs).

Then she started sabotaging my career and at that point I ditched her. It wasn’t until I was free of her that I realised how toxic she’d been with her constant put downs chipping away at my confidence.

If you tell a close friend that you’re happy and excited about something and their first instinct is to make you unhappy and worried, it isn’t a healthy friendship.

Eranzer · 11/01/2023 21:55

Why don't you just ask her what the craic is?

NewBootsAndRanty · 11/01/2023 21:58

Floomobal · 11/01/2023 20:11

Yes, it’s weird that you haven’t given the emoji or the message, to gauge general opinion. I think you like the attention?

I’m going to pretend he said

Let’s go for a “coffee” 👉🏻👌🏻

Grin
ItsNotReallyChaos · 11/01/2023 22:00

She's trying to sabotage your chance of a relationship because it makes her feel threatened.

Noonesperfect · 11/01/2023 22:06

OP where have you gone? Hmm
Please Talk to us!

OneFrenchEgg · 11/01/2023 22:17

🫴🦵

While I'm waiting for Op I'm just going to create suggestive or creepy emojis

OneFrenchEgg · 11/01/2023 22:19

Let's go 🐶 r 💍

EmmaEmerald · 11/01/2023 22:20

OneFrenchEgg · 11/01/2023 22:17

🫴🦵

While I'm waiting for Op I'm just going to create suggestive or creepy emojis

is this a bottomless burglar coming through a window blind?

OneFrenchEgg · 11/01/2023 22:22

is this a bottomless burglar coming through a window blind?

Clearly I need to up my sexy game

QueenSmartypants · 11/01/2023 22:26

OneFrenchEgg · 11/01/2023 22:19

Let's go 🐶 r 💍

What does that mean and what is the little symbol in the middle?

MeMyBooksAndMyCats · 11/01/2023 22:27

Was it 😈

Maybe your friend fancies you, that or she's jealous. I wouldn't read to mcuh into it.

OneFrenchEgg · 11/01/2023 22:33

queen it was a love of those silly quiz books - you take away the letter with the score through (r). I'm sure op's message was more romantic and less painful.

Summerfun54321 · 11/01/2023 22:43

😜was it that? Or this? 👰or this one?😘this guessing could take a while....

QueenSmartypants · 11/01/2023 22:46

OneFrenchEgg · 11/01/2023 22:33

queen it was a love of those silly quiz books - you take away the letter with the score through (r). I'm sure op's message was more romantic and less painful.

Thank you! 😄

brusselspout · 11/01/2023 22:46

This is one of the most frustrating threads I've seen recently.

I'm on team-friend.

brusselspout · 11/01/2023 22:47

Let's go for a coffee sometime ☠️

brusselspout · 11/01/2023 22:48

Fancy meeting up for a coffee? 🖕🏼🌝

JudyGemstone · 11/01/2023 22:52

Snowdrop90 · 11/01/2023 19:55

Was it this 😏

It was wasn’t it?

I hate this emoji, it is creepy!

EmmaEmerald · 11/01/2023 22:54

OneFrenchEgg · 11/01/2023 22:22

is this a bottomless burglar coming through a window blind?

Clearly I need to up my sexy game

OMG I can't stop laughing

I thought the other one was "let's go dogging and then get engaged" 😂😂😂😂😂

EmmaEmerald · 11/01/2023 22:56

OneFrenchEgg · 11/01/2023 22:22

is this a bottomless burglar coming through a window blind?

Clearly I need to up my sexy game

Oh hang on
I was on my computer when I said "window blind"

Now I'm on ipad, there's no blind?!

OneFrenchEgg · 11/01/2023 22:58

Now I'm on ipad, there's no blind?!

It's a hand and a squatting bum
Although looking back now it's more 'shit in my palm' and less third base ...

QueenSmartypants · 11/01/2023 23:01

OneFrenchEgg · 11/01/2023 22:58

Now I'm on ipad, there's no blind?!

It's a hand and a squatting bum
Although looking back now it's more 'shit in my palm' and less third base ...

A squatting bum?

I see a leg...

Also, I've reached adulthood without ever knowing what 1st, 2nd, 3rd base is etc 😳😄

beastlyslumber · 11/01/2023 23:04

🐖🥓

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