I ask because I’ve spent the last few weeks in therapy after feeling on the brink of suicide and I needed to get help.
I am due to give birth in 11 days. For the last two months my partner (or ex?!) has refused to speak to me. We had some awful arguments during pregnancy and it came to a head one week after a particularly shit argument, we both said things we didn’t mean (at least I know I didn’t mean my part). He changed locks when I got back from work, had left my belongings outside in four boxes, and refused to speak to me or explain why he had done this though obviously I assumed it was following the argument. I never considered it an argument that ended things.
I then waited for him to return from work the next day and when he arrived he literally walked past me and I begged him to talk. He carried on walking, wouldn’t acknowledge me. He then shoved past me into his flat and locked the door. I left and spent the next 6 weeks contacting him via email and text, saying I didn’t know what had happened, asking to talk and asking if we could at least discuss the baby. He didn’t reply to any of this, I was distraught and confused and begged him to let me know what he wanted to do about our baby and whether he wanted to be at the birth etc. Right before Christmas I received an email from him saying if I messaged again he was going to report me for harassing him and he had all the emails and texts to show for it. I felt pretty tricked into this as he could have said initially that he didn’t want me to contact him or could have blocked my number with ease or just had a conversation about the end of our relationship as the only moment I knew it was over was when boxes were left outside for me. Instead I had no closure at all and felt so vulnerable as I was heavily pregnant.
I spent the last week since new year in therapy and I’ve been told this is horrendous emotional abuse and rather than beating myself up about how or why we may have broken up, I should stay well away from such an awful man. I did not expect this and expected my therapist to say I had been unhinged and crazy and ultimately quite pathetic and needy. I’ve since researched this sort of treatment and it does indicate it’s abuse, however, I’m seeking validation here I suppose. Do you agree with my therapist? I still feel I’m to blame that I’m alone and my baby presumably now won’t know her dad. Please he honest. I don’t want anything sugar coated, I just want to try and make sense of the last few awful weeks.