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Original poster

Husband cheating on his mistress!

132 replies

Susie253 · 08/01/2023 14:11

My husband broke up with me in Nov. After 15 years together he said he’d fallen in love with another woman he’d met 4 weeks before! He’s been living with her on and off since then.
Her husband died a year ago and she’s gone on holiday to deal with the anniversary leaving my husband in her house.
i signed into our home laptop today and found he was accessing dating sites looking for sex whilst she’s away!
should I let her know? She deserves better.

OP posts:
TheaBrandt · 08/01/2023 15:28

He’s a serial shagger. He’s never going to be faithful to anyone. The most baffling part is you wanting him back.

SuperHandss · 08/01/2023 15:39

No, you lose them how you get them.

And it’s time to kick him out.

OhIdoLike2bBesideTheSeaside · 08/01/2023 15:41

Susie253 · 08/01/2023 14:21

TBH I wanted himback, so hadn’t made up my mind about divorce.
i can’t believe he’s in love with her if he’s cheating so quickly.
im very confused as to what to do

Whatever you do don't take him back and if I was the other woman I'd want to know aswell

Sittingonabench · 08/01/2023 15:45

Not a popular opinion but I would give her some compassion here - she is grieving and vulnerable and this is a huge monumental mistake but allowing him to move in so quickly supports she is vulnerable. He on the other hand is despicable and I would suggest you consider carefully what his behaviour says about him. I would tell her and provide proof. Explain you are blindsided by what has happened and you don’t want that to happen to her.

WelliesandWine88 · 08/01/2023 15:51
  1. She doesn't deserve better l..she's actually getting exactly what she deserves
  2. It's not his home anymore..he has left..change the locks.
  3. Divorce him asap. He showing you clearly that he's a piece of crap
Mari9999 · 08/01/2023 15:54

The smart thing to do is to mind your own business in relation to his affair and to move forward with your divorce.

His cheating no longer involves you, and you are not the morality enforcer

fatherfintanstack · 08/01/2023 15:56

I wouldn't bother. All you can prove is that he's been looking. He will probably claim he just gets off on looking at profiles or something and if you divorce (why wouldn't you) it may make things more acrimonious and difficult. She sounds quite vulnerable. Not your problem but she will probably choose to believe him rather than lose another partner.

Mirabai · 08/01/2023 16:04

However irritated I was with her she’s still a woman who might end up with a cheat and an STI - so I think I’d take pity on her.

You’re both being fucked over by the same arsehole.

BellePeppa · 08/01/2023 16:08

Susie253 · 08/01/2023 14:21

TBH I wanted himback, so hadn’t made up my mind about divorce.
i can’t believe he’s in love with her if he’s cheating so quickly.
im very confused as to what to do

Yuck! You want him back?🥴 or did I imagine you wrote that?

Ncgirlseriously · 08/01/2023 16:11

I’d take a picture to have proof, but I wouldn’t say anything.

Play shitty games, win shitty prizes. She deserves exactly what she’s got.

Just do what you can to move forward with a divorce and stop that dick from coming in your house.

frozendaisy · 08/01/2023 16:12

I would let them circle the drain together, but might casually drop in, great way to start off a new relationship straight on dating sites first time she's away, a prince among men.

Just so he knows you know. And also make it clear that you are not prepared to live for him.

Then at least he has the concern that you know what he probably doesn't want her to know.

LadyOfTheCanyon · 08/01/2023 16:13

Unfortunately he's probably been like this for years and she's just the one you've found out about because he left you for her.

girlmom21 · 08/01/2023 16:13

Hopefully this proves you that there's no way back. Don't give her the heads up until you're rid of him.

amonsteronthehill · 08/01/2023 16:16

I wouldn't if you don't want him back permanently in your house!

Let her deal with him. In the meantime, focus on divorcing him and getting everything you are entitled to for you and any DCs.

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 08/01/2023 16:16

Why on earth would you want this twat back?

Also, why are you snooping on him online?

Make plans to move out and get your own life back on track. Unless you're just in it for the money...

LadyGAgain · 08/01/2023 16:17

In the gentlest way OP, he doesn't want you anymore and you need self respect and to kick him to the kerb. If the new bit of stuff finds out right now what he's up to he will be kicked out by her and try and come back to you. In your current vulnerable state you will probably believe all his cliche platitudes and take him back. 110% guarantee he will be shagging someone else within weeks. So get your ducks in a row, save the evidence of this, get divorced and then, if they are still together, drop the bomb.

Cuppasoupmonster · 08/01/2023 16:18

If you take him back I will have no sympathy if your thread in 2024 is ‘took hubby back, now cheating again’

HashtagShitShop · 08/01/2023 16:21

Susie253 · 08/01/2023 14:21

TBH I wanted himback, so hadn’t made up my mind about divorce.
i can’t believe he’s in love with her if he’s cheating so quickly.
im very confused as to what to do

You get rid of him. That's what you do.

You can't trust him as a husband. She can't trust him as an affair partner.

How would you EVER settle your mind with where he was and what he was up to?

Hes a filthy piece of work as you deserve a lot better. She has made her bed if she's his mistress. It's up to her to deal with it going forward, I'd just enjoy the schadenfreude and draw a line under my side and make things official and go for divorce on your terms/timescale.

Theunamedcat · 08/01/2023 16:23

Get the evidence get the divorce get everything you want then when it's signed send her the evidence

Because your right no-one should put up with this behaviour not you not even her

purpledalmation · 08/01/2023 16:23

Forthelast · 08/01/2023 14:12

Ha!

Not if it will make your divorce more difficult. Otherwise, why not. Not sure why she deserves better though really.

I think the recent loss of a husband would make her vulnerable to someone like OPs H.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 08/01/2023 16:24

I'd just enjoy the schadenfreude and draw a line under my side and make things official and go for divorce on your terms/timescale

This. I mean, I'm all for female solidarity but there are times when you say sod it and act in your own interests, not other peoples.

MrsDanversGlidesAgain · 08/01/2023 16:25

I think the recent loss of a husband would make her vulnerable to someone like OPs H

I agree with you about the vulnerability but that's not OP's problem.

StaunchMomma · 08/01/2023 16:26

You really need to gather aaallll of that evidence and put it away for when your divorce is final.

What an absolute twat he is.

astarsheis · 08/01/2023 16:28

BellePeppa · 08/01/2023 16:08

Yuck! You want him back?🥴 or did I imagine you wrote that?

Show quote history

I agree...what a scumbag...I was wondering which bit she was confused about 😬

pompei8309 · 08/01/2023 16:29

Susie253 · 08/01/2023 14:21

TBH I wanted himback, so hadn’t made up my mind about divorce.
i can’t believe he’s in love with her if he’s cheating so quickly.
im very confused as to what to do

You’re confused at what to do?? 😂girl ,the answer couldn’t be clearer if it punched you in the face