My H makes me feel sick

[StrangerBings]

To be honest I don't know where to start.

He had an affair for a year, 6 years ago now. Denied he had sex but i am not stupid. Worked with her. It ended, as he was afraid of loosing everything. I took him back. I wish I hadn't.

If this thread is anything, it should be a warning about trying to forgive someone who cheats.

I hate him. I'm stuck here with him. Why didn't I tell him to stay away when he was desperate to 'keep' me. I'm in my mid-50's, with a child still at home. It takes every ounce of strength to pretend I'm happy.

Don't be me. Please.

Disgust has a purpose, keeps us from poisoning ourselves.

Remember, you're not stuck with him!

You're not stuck with him.

What's stopping you from ending the marriage now?
Are you reliant upon him financially?

I'm stuck sadly. He has serious mental health issues. How he had an.affair is beyond mine and anyone else's comprehension! I feel trapped.

Thank goodness I have never been in your position but I do know one thing. You have free will to leave whenever you want. Please don't spend the rest of your life with a person who disgusts you.

I appreciate he has mental health issues, but why do you feel stuck?

His health is not your fault. I don't think i'd care how ill he was, i'd still leave.

His mental health problems are not your responsibility.

What other reasons do you feel you're stuck?

I guarantee you are not stuck and should move on for a happier life.

Your life will be ruined and wasted if you stay

Why are thinking of him when you should be thinking of yourself?

Let's be practical. Do you work? How old is your child? Is your home rented or mortgaged?

No fault divorce.
He lost you the moment he thought about getting his dick wet elsewhere.

Just explain you tried but you can't. No hard feelings. Time to move on.

You can leave. You're feeling obligated. Don't. He wasn't obligated to you when he had an affair.

He makes everyone around him feel guilty and that he has to have support from us. As he still works in a high pressure, well paid job, we have to continually praise him for it.

I work in a high pressured job but he never appreciates it. Our youngest is 2 years off leaving school (6th form). I'm planning to leave then but it's hard when he is such a cunt.

You are not stuck.
You can divorce him.
His mental health is not your responsibility.

You only get this one life.

Leave now. Don’t wait, one life OP and anything can happen.

It actually sounds like the perfect moment to ship out. If he is doing a high pressure job then he can function on his own. You are making excuses.

☝️☝️☝️☝️

He is VERY controlling but would never see it himself. Everyone else does. I've never cheated, never looked at anyone else. He had the affair yet he is always checking what I'm doing. Even whilst messaging on here hes been asking me what I'm doing. Is that normal?

Use your raw anger in a positive way....leave him.

You don't have small children, a well paid job.....make plans to leave.

As for the mental health, well didn't stop him having an affair did it ?

HE has MH problems. Not you. Free yourself.

You can unstick yourself. You've just got to believe you can.

No
It's not normal
You have one life
One
Don't waste it with an unsettled soul
Think of you
You deserve more
He betrayed you

I get that you dont want to disrupt your DC exams. But I think I would find it too hard to stay right now. You are not responsible for his MH. And no, constant asking what you are doing is not normal.

Yes, this. Don't let this be your story FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.