How to find out who's number this is?

[Olivesandhoney]

I have been suspicious for a while but found a text on husbands phone with the message.. Happy new year, I love you ❤️ Have checked its not family on both sides. Do I just call?

Did they call back OP?

No nothing back but I did 141 first. Have tried again several times but still voicemail.

Have you thought any more about asking DH ? Or are you going to sit on a while, and keep eyes/ears open for anything else suspicious?

I'll get slammed on here but I would put a tracker on his car to see if he's where he says he is. And of course I know you shouldn't have to, but if I thought he was fucking me around, then I would.

It sounds like a wrong number. Particularly because it wasn't saved. I've received happy new years from complete strangers several times before

Buy a burner phone, get hold of his phone again and block the suspicious number, replace the suspicious number in his contacts with your burner phone number, then wait.

But this number isnt saved on her husbands phone - so she can replace it / rename it.

Ah this is shit OP!! Sorry you are going through this. Do you have access to bank accounts ? Any cash withdrawals or unexplained purchases ?

I wasn't passing judgement on the investigation of his phone; I just meant that to do so is to acknowledge a definite suspicion, and, by definition, a collapse of trust that goes to the heart of the relationship, and renders its future more than a little problematic.

It could be a mistake, especially if he didn't reply. I had a text message saying something like "last night was amazing, can't wait to see you again"

It definitely wasn't meant for me and just a wrong number. Although I did reply and say "I think you've got the wrong number"

I may have missed you saying you have, but have you stuck it into google?

Hmm ok, here’s what I would do

1. bide my time a bit. Do you have his passcode? I would check back sporadically and see if that conversation expands at all
2. check WhatsApp? Does he have any other suspicious conversations? Tried to call any other unsaved numbers?
3. I’d also Google the SHIT out of it. Using both 0 at the start and also +44, adding the gaps after the 5th number etc. just trying every formation just to see If it’s linked to any websites or companies just to be sure
4. save the number on my own phone and see if it has a display picture on WhatsApp or if that changes in future
5. and yeah, keep calling 🤷🏻‍♀️ you could even try calling off someone else’s phone not withheld? You don’t have to speak, just see if they pick up? Obviously then block them so they don’t try looking up your number/photo on WhatsApp.

For Someone to be texting I love you how can it be a wrong number? If it’s someone close enough for them to be saying I love you wouldn’t they have their number stored?

@Notsofestive1 that's what I thought but not neccessarily, if they're trying to hide them (but not doing a very good job!).

Thanks all for your incredibly helpful advice. I'm going to bide my time with this and keep calling in the meantime

Is it going straight to voicemail, or ringing once then voicemail?

This can happen if the person has blocked unknown callers on their phone. I have it enabled. If the number isn’t saved in my contacts it gets sent straight to voicemail.

If they have blocked unknown numbers to their phone, buy a burner phone to call them from that instead?

If it was me I would get someone you know to phone the number asking for ‘Susan’ for example. Then the person will say ‘no it’s Jane’ for example.

But supposing the person who answers is indeed called Susan? What happens then?

And even if she isn't, there's no guarantee that she'd give her name. She might just say "Sorry, there's nobody called Susan here. I think you must have the wrong number" and hang up.

OP, I'm sorry you're going through this. Thinking of you.

Good luck

If there are any other red flags, you could go to his work area at lunchtime and when he is supposed to finish and watch from afar to see if there anything is untoward (say you are working over)!

Could your husband have a burner phone and maybe the message was sent to the wrong number by mistake?
Or did he WANT you to see the message?

you sure it was for him?

I had a rather, um, rude text once which was so unlike my DP. Turned out it was the plumber who sent it to me in error. Thank goodness - he really wasn't my type (much too young). But unfortunately he was so embarrassed he refused to do any further work for us which was a shame as he was good at his job and the prices were right.

The pp who said put a tracker on his car. Do not do this!

Incredibly bad advice. It's a criminal offence and could get you arrested. I know someone this happened to. It's classed as stalking.

The person I know ended up on bail for months with a restraining order against them even though the person they did it to was their spouse.

@Olivesandhoney Im not sure if this works in the UK but you can add that number to a pay app like Zelle, Cashapp or Venmo, sorry I've been out of the UK a while so not sure what the equivalent is but that might get you a hit on the number ?

Have you checked his call history? He might have deleted texts/WhatsApps but forgotten about calls.