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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

How to find out who's number this is?

106 replies

Olivesandhoney · 05/01/2023 09:00

I have been suspicious for a while but found a text on husbands phone with the message.. Happy new year, I love you ❤️ Have checked its not family on both sides. Do I just call?

OP posts:
NotAnotherBathBomb · 05/01/2023 09:47

Is the communication through WhatsApp? Does he have his online status visible?

Blubolt · 05/01/2023 09:47

If it was me I would get someone you know to phone the number asking for ‘Susan’ for example. Then the person will say ‘no it’s Jane’ for example.

Chickenvoicesinmyhead · 05/01/2023 09:48

How did you find the message on his phone? Can you access it again? Take a photo of anything odd you might find so he can't delete it.

Has he recently got a case of mention-itis? The constant dropping of a name of a new colleague etc?

Michellebops · 05/01/2023 09:54

You could always call it using 141 in front if that still allows callers to withhold their number.

007sky · 05/01/2023 09:55

@Olivesandhoney did he not reply to the message op?

ImBlueDab · 05/01/2023 09:58

Put the number in google and Facebook
Put it in your phone and look at the photo in WhatsApp

Tdcp · 05/01/2023 10:00

007sky · 05/01/2023 09:28

Has he had the time to be seeing someone else? I mean enough for them to love him?

I was in a relationship with a man for 2.5 years. We were engaged, I was pregnant, we had signed a lease on a house. Though we didn't live together he stayed with me all the time and at a drop of a hat as well so no planning involved.

He had another family. Another fiance, child, lived with her, 1.5 hours away.

Men find time.

Olivesandhoney · 05/01/2023 10:02

NotAnotherBathBomb · 05/01/2023 09:47

Is the communication through WhatsApp? Does he have his online status visible?

No it was an sms

OP posts:
Olivesandhoney · 05/01/2023 10:03

Chickenvoicesinmyhead · 05/01/2023 09:48

How did you find the message on his phone? Can you access it again? Take a photo of anything odd you might find so he can't delete it.

Has he recently got a case of mention-itis? The constant dropping of a name of a new colleague etc?

I've taken a picture but it's just a message from an unsaved number. No reply just that

OP posts:
Olivesandhoney · 05/01/2023 10:04

007sky · 05/01/2023 09:55

@Olivesandhoney did he not reply to the message op?

No reply or previous communication visible

OP posts:
Olivesandhoney · 05/01/2023 10:04

ImBlueDab · 05/01/2023 09:58

Put the number in google and Facebook
Put it in your phone and look at the photo in WhatsApp

I've tried this and nothing comes up on Facebook

OP posts:
Hanab · 05/01/2023 10:05

Perhaps Call the number looking for your SO or just look up the number on who called me.

MishaBukvic · 05/01/2023 10:07

I'm sorry to add fuel to the fire but similar to a previous poster , I found out the hard way that cheaters do find time !!
"Works long hours " was the same for me. He worked 12 hour shifts and came home right on time at 6.30pm. No time for an affair, so I thought.

He actually worked 8 hour shifts... and spent
time before / after work with the other woman. He was finishing work at 2pm, going to hers for a few hours , But always came home at same time every day, just like he'd come straight home from work.

SaintLoy · 05/01/2023 10:08

Olivesandhoney · 05/01/2023 09:00

I have been suspicious for a while but found a text on husbands phone with the message.. Happy new year, I love you ❤️ Have checked its not family on both sides. Do I just call?

Er, whose number...

Twentytwenty3 · 05/01/2023 10:09

Could it be a case of wrong number? I'd definitely call if you have concerns!

Beachsidesunset · 05/01/2023 10:11

SaintLoy · 05/01/2023 10:08

Er, whose number...

Get tae fuck

YoSofi · 05/01/2023 10:12

The problem is, if it is an OW and she knows about you, she will be cagey. She may not answer withheld numbers and is unlikely to give her name out.

xBuckfastAtTiffanysx · 05/01/2023 10:15

I will happily call the number and act daft.
I will pretend to be some sort of company
Where abouts are you OP?
My Scottish accent may throw off this OW

xBuckfastAtTiffanysx · 05/01/2023 10:17

I would have asked for an explanation, presented the evidence (saved number) and anything he says I would ask for proof... i.e. it's just a friend.. cool, call them now and let me hear

I am not a very forgiving nor trusting person.. I'd like to think if my partner saw a text like that on my phone that they would ask away

Chickenvoicesinmyhead · 05/01/2023 10:19

xBuckfastAtTiffanysx · 05/01/2023 10:15

I will happily call the number and act daft.
I will pretend to be some sort of company
Where abouts are you OP?
My Scottish accent may throw off this OW

Go one better, does anyone here actually run a hairdressers (for instance)? So if the person Googled/WhatsApp/or called back they would get through to a genuine business?

houseonthehill · 05/01/2023 10:19

Of all times that a message like that could be innocent, New Year is it.

Chickenvoicesinmyhead · 05/01/2023 10:23

houseonthehill · 05/01/2023 10:19

Of all times that a message like that could be innocent, New Year is it.

Absolutely agree, in isolation. Perhaps not with other suspicions though.

WeAreTheHeroes · 05/01/2023 10:24

I would never give my actual name to someone who rang me and didn't know my name. I'd be really cagey about confirming any details if they did know my name and I didn't know them. Have you tried googling the number and seeing if it's a scam? Trying a different messaging app is a good idea.

Your issue OP is that you've sensed something isn't right and this message seems to confirm that. People who like to their partners are never as clever as they think they are. They are arrogant and become less clever about things as time goes on.

WeAreTheHeroes · 05/01/2023 10:25

People who lie to their partners, not like

xBuckfastAtTiffanysx · 05/01/2023 10:27

It could be an innocent message.. it could be someone sending out a message to everyone in their phonebook - it is plausible. However, OP has sensed something is off. New year or no new year, I would still call or ask him about it.

There is nothing wrong in asking about a message like that, his reaction will tell you all you need to know. If it is innocent he will do all he can to reassure you, if he turns this on you for checking his phone (which is a fair point but we can do things when desperate for the truth), turns nasty or refuses to engage, then you will know.