Coming to terms that I will never been in a relationship again

[simplefree]

I had no problems getting into relationships when I was younger - and I have been married and divorced twice - I am 45 now, turning 46 in a few months and I am giving up. It is somewhat sad to admit I have no more hope but it is also liberating. However I love watching movies and when there is a good love story in them, I have to be careful to let it affect me negatively.

I am considered attractive, people don't believe my age. I am self sufficient and low maintenance. I've been working on my social and relationship skills for ages and I am very comfortable with who I am now. But it is not happening - meeting someone I can be attracted to and vice versa. And I am in London!

I finally gave up on the apps this summer - I just don't enjoy using them. I gave it a shot for a few years and have been in all of them.

I don't go out a lot but 2022 was a very complicated year. I plan to enjoy myself more in 2023 - if something happens, if I meet someone, it will have to be in the old fashioned natural way.

I am transitioning to grey hair. Had enough of colouring every 3/4 weeks. I am having a haircut end of this week. I plan to upgrade my wardrobe a little even though I am a minimalist. It is all for me. I spent years and years seeking and I am tired.

My 2nd separation / divorce was in 2014. I had a 3 months fling, then a 9 months relationship then a 2 months fling since. The last one was the shortest but most magical ever but the end - not initiated by me - brought me to my knees - this was 2019. After that I tried hard but the belief is lost.

This is just a vent and a declaration of freedom from wanting or waiting from now. Going into 2023 with only my love for me. That should be enough. I will get romance from books or the TV.

Sounds like a great 2023! I bet you will connect with many old friends and make loads of great new ones too 🙂

Hope your workplace is nice too!

Lots to look forward to in 2023!
I've been single nearly 11 years now (a bar a handful of dates) and turn 45 next year.

I’m kind of with you @simplefree. I split with my ex in November. At 52 I really don’t want to be dating again.

We are friends, it’s still a bit fresh for us both but know it will be ok in time.

I really think that is all I need, maybe a FWB in time but right now I’m happy single and just doing my own thing.

Thank you
Career is going well 🙂 workplace and colleagues are awesome

How do you feel about it?

I know what you mean. I'm 51 and I don't think it will happen for me now. I have tried and been on all the apps and never got beyond date 4. Online dating has become more hideous since covid and I've deleted it all.

I'm quite sad about it because I wanted another relationship following my marriage breakdown 6 years ago but I think acceptance is easier to live with than hope.

I do have an online relationship with a man I will never meet, which helps a bit but I don't think anyone will touch me again.

My divorce will be finalised in 2023 after nearly 20 years together. I'll be 40 but with 3 very small children including a set of twins age 1 I can't see how I'll ever have a relationship again. I feel too young to be single but too old to date. The thought of OLD fills me with dread but kids dad doesn't have any overnights with them so can't see how I'll ever actually be able to date anyone. I feel so sad that I'll never come home from work to someone who loves me likes that and who I'll share a life with and make memories with.

None of us know what the future holds and your plan for next year sounds great - I wish you an awesome 2023 when it comes

For me the saddest part is that now that I feel my best being me - knowing what I know about life and about myself - I have no one to share me with

and such is life -

an online relationship - I could do it as friends

I’m 46 just divorced- I’ve decided that 2023 will be all about ME! No complications just exercise, eating right and lots of fun things to do with my friends. Im not closing the door on future romance or FWB, just hitting pause. Here’s hoping 2023 is massive improvement on 2022 for us all!

I'm 45 and feel the same. I'm the best I've been in years, I exercise at least 5 times a week, have an amazing new job, great friends,a pretty good social life. My confidence in the past 6 months has gone up tremendously. My new job is opening me up to a whole new world and new friendships.

I also gave apps a try, not for me. I'm also very picky with men, I know what I like and he seems a rare breed.

I feel very positive going into 2023.

You're not coming to terms with anything, or making any decisions to be concerned about then? You're posting a thread to say you aim to be happy to be single, and you're phrasing it in an unhappy way?

Can you think of any positive ways to title your thread? A negative stance is what will scupper your aim.

Most men don't dye their hair as they get older

I haven't coloured my hair for over 10 years
I can't be xxxx !

You need a positive smile

I am a strong believer that there is someone for everyone

My Body Combat teacher used to yell at us - turn the page ! There is always another chapter and I believe that is right.

I don’t see as negative - just facts - I much rather be with an amazing partner sharing real love but at this point where I am at I just know that I tried everything and I am tired of hoping. Anyway, it should just happen effortlessly. It feels like acceptance now.
99% of the women in my family are single and bitter. I don’t want to be bitter. The seeking and not finding, the hoping and waiting breeds bitterness. I want to accept that it has not happened for me and perhaps never will with grace. And focus on what is going well which is my career. I neglected my professional side since forever because romance was always more important.

There is no age limit to make new friends

There is no age limit to be happy & achieve some new goals

56 and I don’t want a man again I’ve had it up to here, unless he’s mega rich Brenner lookalike seriously though I don’t want the hassle stories on here about dating have put me off for life man child been there done it I won’t do it again. 2023 is my way forward.

I’m 44 and have been single for 5 years now and I love it. I have my independence and can’t imagine living someone ever again. I’ve tried all the apps and hoping to meet men at hobbies but it’s never happened and I’ve accepted that it probably won’t. Accepting that I’ll be on my own long term has been immensely freeing and I’m much happier now.

Blimey, 45's a bit young to resign yourself to the single life.

I know several couples who met and fell in love in MUCH later life ( late 50s and 60s and a 70 yr old) and enjoyed very happy years together.

I read an article that said single women without children are happiest (compared to those with partners/kids, and compared to single men without kids etc.)…. Maybe the Amazonian women have it right!!!

That all said, people seem to meet when they’re not looking for love so who knows!!

I’ve just turned 46 and bar a few disappointing dates have been single for three years. I really don’t feel like playing the game anymore.
So here’s to self love 2023 🥂

I want to accept that it has not happened for me and perhaps never will with grace

You can't see into the future. It can happen in the blink of an eye, or maybe it won't, and it doesn't matter. My query was about the negative phrasing of the title of your thread. You're not 'coming to terms' with anyone: you're living.

*'coming to terms with anything'

Quite happy to be single and I have no desire to ever have another relationship or live with a man again.

I am 52 and I gave up on dating completely and will never want anything to do with dating sites/apps again.

This was after a few years of unsuccessful online dating which really affected my self-esteem and made me wonder if there are any men left out there who are not addicted to porn, immature and unable to form equal relationship.

I had a really bad experience with the last man I dated (he turned abusive and assaulted me) and that was the last straw.

I must say my life has actually improved greatly since I am focusing only on friends, work, enjoying hobbies, travelling and no longer have anything to do with dating.

I probably have done more interesting activities and experiences in the past two years than before in my life! from exploring new countries to learning how to ride horses.

It is very unlikely that I will find a great man at my age and I am just done putting up with poor treatment.

I dress for myself now, not worrying about whether someone will find me sexy and although I still take proud in my appearance I could not care less what other people think of what I look like.

I think being in a good relationship with a partner who really loves you must be a real blessing. But I have had too many bad experiences with men not to accept that this was not in the cards for me and that I am better off focusing on other aspects of my life.