Feeling trapped. Does anyone dream of a different life?

[SecondLife]

NC for this.

Just wondered if people create a different life in their heads? Not one with lots of money necessarily but a different set-up altogether.

After coming back to MN after a long time and reading about controlling relationships, the crushing realisation is that I am in one.

I believe in my gut I've always known it but seeing it written down in black and white has brought me to my senses.

Obviously I need to deal with it but don't yet know how. We have huge commitments and 30 years of being together.

In the meantime I am lost in my own dream world.

I have a life in my head which is very different to my current life: my own 2 bed cottage, open fire and possibly a dog. Freedom to work in a field that will fill my soul and to live a life where I don't have to alter myself, my reactions or to over-ride my true thoughts or opinions to fall in line with him. To live a life being the real me, flourishing, rather than dancing to his tune to keep the peace. Perhaps it's just a fantasy to keep me sane!

Do you have another life in your head or is it just me imagining how it could be?

❤

@Crikeyalmighty I completely identify with having situations spoiled. It takes the joy out of things.

In business everything has to be 100% perfect. If I miss something or forget something it's a huge deal. No matter how many right things I do right. It's so stressful.

He puts himself under so much pressure but won't listen to my ideas to help ease it.

Are you planning on leaving?

We all dream. I have lived in four countries and had four different lives.

I sometimes feel sad that my kids will never see the happy, joyful, fun loving side of me where life was easy and weather was warm. They are more serious like their dad.

I still see my friends living other types of lives and sometimes the pain of not being there gets me but not enough to move.

But you can create a different life with a little effort, do the things you love. If you want it, it will happen.

Wow, I posted on this thread on Boxing Day and I’ve since left DH!

@MySilentFace How is it going? Did it all work out the way you expected it to?

Yes. I do miss him sometimes and I’m worse off financially but it was definitely the right decision. It was weird seeing this thread again and what I’d written. Maybe this thread spurred me on. I think Christmas will be more relaxing this year!

Delighted to see this, I remember your thread. How did he take the break up?

LOL was going to say something similar - make it a closed woodburner for the same ambience without the damage to your lungs and endless wet-dusting.

Yes I’ve had these same thoughts for about a year. I’m 35 with a young family and I feel like I have a forever sentence to serve. I couldn’t leave and break up my children’s reality and life.

Really glad it’s going well for you. The question is- are you creating that different life?

Wishing you a very merry Christmas

It wasn’t my thread I only posted on it. He was in denial for ages! But then something clicked and he got organised to move out. Did what I told him. He didn’t fight for our marriage. It’s sad but I think it’s better for both of us. It’s amicable, I still see him from time to time.

That’s a difficult question. My life is the same but different. I feel like there no longe a shadow hanging over me but I’m yet to make any other big changes!

A message from the other side of the 'vision'

I created my new life - and now I am living it. its taken me 6 years. But I did it.

Its been hard -but worth it. The dreams are always worth pursuing.