To break up with someone over lip filler?

[Loulou89x]

I know this sounds a bit mad but my brother has been in a what I thought a pretty good relationship with a lovely girl for nearly 2.5 years now. She's recently lost quite a chunk of weight, and with this has started to pay more attention if you like to other areas and has had a boob job in the summer, and more recently has had lip filler, chin filler, botox etc.
My brother the other day told me he wants to end things as he isn't attracted to her anymore and think she's got lost in it all and only wants to spend money on her appearance. I'm quite taken aback as we all thought this would be the girl he would marry. I personally haven't noticed a huge change in her, at least personality wise so quite surprised that he would throw away a relationship over this.
Has anyone else had something similar happen? What are people's on thoughts on this?

The idea that you need a “good enough” reason to end a relationship is oddly strong. I’ve heard it over and over, the complaint that someone la reason for ending it isn’t enough, it’s wrong to dump someone for something little or the default position once dating, is that you have to stay dating unless they do something bad enough to justify ending it.

marriage is a commitment but dating is not. If he has decided this relationship doesn’t work for him anymore - regardless of how petty the reason is - then that’s fine.

(And as others have said, if she’s had a personality /behavioural change along with the face and body change then it’s likely he just doesn’t like the person she is now, not just how she looks)

He's entitled not to be attracted to someone who has so much narcissism going on. Many people have a little Botox and even fillers but this gf has gone the whole hog and it could be he's gone off someone so self obsessed, or he just doesn't feel attracted to her.

Clearly the girlfriend hasn't gone for the subtle look if it's so obvious to him and so unattractive

I have a family member and two friends who have lost quite a lot of weight.

All three acted like complete dicks initially after the weight loss. It was like they'd changed personality now they were getting more attention. It was not nice at all.

Lip fillers etc are really in attractive. I wouldn't be interested in someone who was into that.

Well she's obviously changed dramatically. He started out with an ordinary looking overweight woman who from your description now seems to have changed to fit the current popular aesthetic.
Its possible he doesn't like the look, especially if she's gone too far and looks fake. Or maybe he feels uncomfortable that she's attracting a lot of attention. Or maybe her new confidence in her looks has changed her. Maybe she's become arrogant, or vain, or obsessed with her looks. Major changes in appearance often change relationship dynamics.

people always get very defensive when cosmetic procedures are mentioned. It really doesn’t matter if the procedures are done well or not. It doesn’t matter if they enhance an individual’s appearance or create an inhuman look. The dividing line is between people who choose to embrace those kinds of procedures and those who eschew an industry that tells us we must invest substantial money on unnatural additions to our body. the two types don’t tend to make good life partners because those are diametrically opposed value systems. There really isn’t any reason you couldn’t be good friends though as friendships are more likely forged with people from a variety of philosophical standings.

I've never had any cosmetic procedures done, and don't see any of that in my future, but I think a lot of MNers can be so overly puritanical when it comes to imagining a woman who has. They're dismissed as being 'thick' or 'narcissistic'. Such lazy stereotyping.

I disagree. There is no universal dividing line. Cosmetic 'procedures' are on a continuem ranging from any unnatural enhancement such as hair dye, gel nails, teeth whitening to surgery. All unecessary, all part of the same industry, all open to the same political arguments. Some people just get very judgemental about those who occupy a different place on the continuem to themselves, and it's the judgment (and often hypocrisy) that causes defensiveness.
There's no great divide of values at play in most cases, though people hide behind that to be spiteful at times. The divide is between those who think its OK to call people 'inhuman', 'alien' and so on, and those who prefer to mind their own business.
He doesn't like how she looks now and has dumped her. It happens. The chance of it being a moral rather than aesthetically motivated decision is slim.

I can see why he feels that way.

But I do think he should be telling her, not you. You said he told you this a few days ago. Has he told her yet?

Interesting and sad. It's truly a good thing to have cosmetic procedures for yourself and not a bloke, however I see so many fillers that look absolutely awful and think 'why did she do that'. I can't work out why some women want to look like blow up dolls and also question the bloke they're with. I respect your brother 100% and feel sorry for both of them. He has to walk down the street with a barbie lookalike, the subject of incel dreams 😯and she's messed up her appearance. But of course, he needs to tell her, not you. Perhaps he needed to get it off his chest.