Page 2 | To break up with someone over lip filler?

Loulou89x · 2022-12-20T16:08:38+00:00

I know this sounds a bit mad but my brother has been in a what I thought a pretty good relationship with a lovely girl for nearly 2.5 years now. She's recently lost quite a chunk of weight, and with this has started to pay more attention if you like to other areas and has had a boob job in the summer, and more recently has had lip filler, chin filler, botox etc. My brother the other day told me he wants to end things as he isn't attracted to her anymore and think she's got lost in it all and only wants to spend money on her appearance. I'm quite taken aback as we all thought this would be the girl he would marry. I personally haven't noticed a huge change in her, at least personality wise so quite surprised that he would throw away a relationship over this. Has anyone else had something similar happen? What are people's on thoughts on this?

ShoveAHollySprigUpYourBum · 20/12/2022 16:49

MysweetAudrina · 20/12/2022 16:36

Maybe she is getting more male attention with her weight loss, boob job and fillers and he doesn't like it.

This does happen.

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 20/12/2022 16:50

If he is no longer attracted to her, or they have grown apart, then splitting makes sense.

The cynic in me wonders if he felt she would be less likely to leave him if she were bigger, and now that's changed...but obviously that's pure speculation on my part.

MamaFirst · 20/12/2022 16:50

Your title is misleading, its not just lip filler is it. She's had quite extensive surgery. This can lead to quite obsessive behaviours, one thing after the next. It's up to your brother to decide if he feels she's changed, which he clearly thinks she has.

gothmothtime · 20/12/2022 16:54

Frith2013 · 20/12/2022 16:47

Those sort of "improvements" always look awful so I wouldn't waste my time on anyone who ruined their looks and wasted their money. I would think they were a bit thick.

I would make up a reason for splitting with them though.

I agree. I always think people look worse with treatment.

And it's not as subtle as people think it is, lip filler is always obvious. Same for eyelash extensions. They always look fake.

2bazookas · 20/12/2022 16:58

He's not breaking up "because of lip filler ".

Its because she has revealed a set of values very different to his.

Realising the other person is incompatible is a good reason not to commit to a lifetime together.

Dontsayyouloveme · 20/12/2022 16:58

if he doesn’t find her attractive as she is now, he’s best to end things..

I’ve been on many dates, with several men and after a few months they’ve said they’d never date anyone who has fillers or Botox… I said.. well you do because I have both and none of them had any idea.
Because you can’t tell as it’s very natural and just make me look a few years younger than I am and refreshed. I have in no way wasted my money or ruined my looks, but merely maintained them… and they certainly don’t make me look ‘thick’.

so it’s a very sweeping generalisation made by those who think this is always the case.

Parky04 · 20/12/2022 17:01

Her personality, as well as her body has probably changed. With all that work done, she has probably become obsessive.

Notsohomely · 20/12/2022 17:02

@Dontsayyouloveme agree - always funny when posters confidently state they can ‘always’ tell when people have had work done. Except they can’t - because the whole point of good work means you can’t. So they don’t notice what they don’t notice.

My husband told me he’d hate it if I got Botox, I’d actually already been getting it for years and he was shocked to find out.

Ponderingwindow · 20/12/2022 17:06

It’s about a set of values where a person chooses to inject substances into their face for purely cosmetic reasons. It’s about the prioritization of money and time on appearance.

DarkShade · 20/12/2022 17:07

Its difficult as this wouldn't be a deal breaker for me this long into a relationship, but I would never start dating someone with Botox and cosmetic surgery. It does sound like more than physical attractiveness though - it would also bother me being with someone who was so into their appearance and who spent a lot of money on it. For example, it would make me think twice about merging finances and it would make me feel a bit more distant from them, as appearance isn't as important to me. He might be questioning whether their values still align.

Byfleet · 20/12/2022 17:09

There are some strange comments on this thread. Dermal fillers are extremely common and I will bet that many people who think it is awful have good friends or family who have had it without you realising. It really is not always obvious. You only notice people who have had too much.

Having said that, if your bother is not happy with the relationship then there is nothing ‘wrong’ with him wanting to end it. Only he can decide, only he knows how he feels.

DowntonCrabby · 20/12/2022 17:09

Anyone can end a relationship for any reason they like.

There’s zero point in continuing a relationship if he’s no longer attracted to her, he’s allowing them both the chance to move on and be genuinely happy.

It’s ok for you to feel disappointed though if you’ve become close to her and you should feel like you can remain friends if she wishes.

Claudia84 · 20/12/2022 17:10

Notsohomely · 20/12/2022 17:02

@Dontsayyouloveme agree - always funny when posters confidently state they can ‘always’ tell when people have had work done. Except they can’t - because the whole point of good work means you can’t. So they don’t notice what they don’t notice.

My husband told me he’d hate it if I got Botox, I’d actually already been getting it for years and he was shocked to find out.

Haha yes same. Botox and fillers. Absolutely no clue whatsoever. And neither do my sisters and I KNOW they would say something

Dontsayyouloveme · 20/12/2022 17:11

Notsohomely · 20/12/2022 17:02

@Dontsayyouloveme agree - always funny when posters confidently state they can ‘always’ tell when people have had work done. Except they can’t - because the whole point of good work means you can’t. So they don’t notice what they don’t notice.

My husband told me he’d hate it if I got Botox, I’d actually already been getting it for years and he was shocked to find out.

Oh it is!! This from a previous poster is just ridiculous:

“Those sort of "improvements" always look awful so I wouldn't waste my time on anyone who ruined their looks and wasted their money. I would think they were a bit thick.” I mean negative language overload with this one.

And the men dated who said they’d ‘never’ date anyone who gets aesthetic treatments done…. I bet you’d rather date me than someone who didn’t look after their looks. I’m not Cindy Crawford by any means but there’s a reason they swiped right on me to start with…

It really annoys me tbh.

But I love you’ve been getting Botox for years on the quiet… and your husband hadn’t even noticed. Good on you 😊😊

SirChenjins · 20/12/2022 17:11

And it's equally as funny that people who have had fillers and botox are sure that no-one notices.

If you know someone very well (which you will do after being intimate with someone for over 2 years) you can absolutely tell when they've had fillers and botox - it might be subtle or it might be more full on, but the differences are there for all to see. Perhaps he just wants her to look her age with a natural face, lines and all.

Greensleevevssnotnose · 20/12/2022 17:12

Byfleet · 20/12/2022 17:09

There are some strange comments on this thread. Dermal fillers are extremely common and I will bet that many people who think it is awful have good friends or family who have had it without you realising. It really is not always obvious. You only notice people who have had too much.

Having said that, if your bother is not happy with the relationship then there is nothing ‘wrong’ with him wanting to end it. Only he can decide, only he knows how he feels.

Completely agree, no need to look fake or plastic although lots do. I lost weight and my face sagged I have fillers annually now. No one knows except me and the doctor. I just look refreshed.

drpet49 · 20/12/2022 17:13

arethereanyleftatall · 20/12/2022 16:15

I'm with your brother. I would have no interest in the personality of someone who did those kind of treatments.

Me too.

JenniferBarkley · 20/12/2022 17:18

It would change how I felt about someone.

To flip the sexes - if DH went on a health kick and joined the gym, great. If he became obsessed with body building, supplements, all that shite then it would be a personality change and I imagine I would struggle.

gannett · 20/12/2022 17:19

Ponderingwindow · 20/12/2022 17:06

It’s about a set of values where a person chooses to inject substances into their face for purely cosmetic reasons. It’s about the prioritization of money and time on appearance.

Exactly.

I'm sure you can get "decent" cosmetic surgery where you really "can't tell" but that's not the point. You had all that money and the most important, pleasurable thing you could think to spend it on was... that. It's just quite sad.

FourTeaFallOut · 20/12/2022 17:20

Chin filler? Since when did a prominent chin start featuring in the female beauty aesthetic? Off to Google

SuKnackered · 20/12/2022 17:20

I'm with the brother. I wouldn't want to be in a relationship with someone shallow and vain, or with someone who feels that they have to look a certain way mandated by "influencers" (i.e. facile twats).

Dontsayyouloveme · 20/12/2022 17:21

gannett · 20/12/2022 17:19

Exactly.

I'm sure you can get "decent" cosmetic surgery where you really "can't tell" but that's not the point. You had all that money and the most important, pleasurable thing you could think to spend it on was... that. It's just quite sad.

Show quote history

Absolutely yes! It’s my spare money… I feel better for my indulgence..

And your spare money goes to charity I suppose… 🙄

FourTeaFallOut · 20/12/2022 17:23

FourTeaFallOut · 20/12/2022 17:20

Chin filler? Since when did a prominent chin start featuring in the female beauty aesthetic? Off to Google

Before and afters look alright, I was thinking Desperate Dan bum chin.

butterfliedtwo · 20/12/2022 17:23

SandrasAnnoyingFriend · 20/12/2022 16:09

If he wants to break up with her for any reason, he should. It's really none of your business and the reason is irrelevant.

This.

FTR, I wouldn't find all that attractive either.

category12 · 20/12/2022 17:31

You haven't noticed a big change in her, but he has. If he's not happy, then it doesn't matter if you thought she was the girl he was going to marry. It's not your life.