Boyfriend talks to me like shit am I overreacting?

[Mazziecat]

I don’t have a circle of friends or anyone to really have this convo with so thought I’d bring it here.

year and a half into a relationship with my boyfriend it’s been the most healthiest I’ve been in compared to previous relationships but now I’m questioning myself Isit normal to be called names all the time I’m absolutely sick of it I’ve voiced it multiple times I don’t find it funny but he goes on to say I’m being paranoid and to basically F off when it gets slightly heated words consist of… what’s up weirdo, are you moody today miss moody which then annoys me so yes I AM now ‘moody’ along with telling me I’m annoying for telling him to stop calling me names, I get called crazy woman, psycho, dxck head, mental woman over the smallest things like this morni no we had a argument as I woke up just not in the mood to him saying morning crazy woman which then triggers me into a bad mood where I don’t want to talk but he will continue to push and push with shitty remarks until he gets some sort of reaction of me telling him to leave me alone, I got his clothes ready for when he got out the shower to hear bring my socks… no please nothing so I said where is your manners no please? He told me to shut up and F off along with don’t bother me for the week which then I get the silent treatment all day.

he doesn’t live with me he only stays at mine 3 days a week and those 3 days I’m starting to feel depressed he doesn’t get up until 11am/12 when I want to be up and out and get stuff done on the days I don’t have work or kids he never wants to do anything other than chill (he finishes work late) I just feel overall shit lack of affection, love, emotional support and crap communication.

do I just call this a day or am I being silly and this is just a normal do your SO call you silly names on a daily?

Oh just bin him, life’s too short for this pish.

That’s not just silly pet names, is it? Some of what he is calling is downright nasty and I, personally, would not put up with it because it is indicative of a general lack of respect for you. Bin him off.

It is isn’t it I think I’ve been down playing it as it’s not as bad as some of the names I’ve been called in previous relationships but apparently I’m a cry baby for getting upset over ‘banter’

Sounds like other relationships have conditioned you to be treated like shit. You deserve sooooo much better. And banter? It really means “I say horrible things to you but you’re not allowed to react in any way or you’re being over sensitive.” it’s bollocks.

Get rid life’s to short for this crap day in day out. It has dragged you down and will get worse.

You call this 'healthy'? What would an unhealthy relationship look like to you?

You need to end it, and spend some time working on your boundaries/standards, maybe the freedom programme.

Get rid he is an arsehole an abusive arsehole

It's not "banter". Banter is an excuse that people use to justify bullying and unpleasant behaviour. If it was banter you'd be enjoying it and think he was hilarious. You don't (hardly anyone would) so he needs to stop. If he won't then get rid. Life is to short to put up with someone treating you in a way that makes you feel down and depressed.

Your boyfriend is a nasty bastard. Just because he's less of a nasty bastard than the previous even nastier bastards doesn't make it okay.

Thank God he doesn't live with you, keep it that way.
And my DH calls me by my name or Darling, never anything to upset me.

I’m so sad for you that this is the best relationship you’ve had with someone who is still unkind and nasty to you

Oh, just tell the nasty little cunt to fuck off and never come back. No amount of cock is worth that level of abuse.

Call it a day. He despises you. Don’t end up despising yourself for tolerating it.

I’m slapping myself as I’ve done this I’ve worked with next link I’ve had therapy for previous DV I think because he’s never hurt me or raised his voice and it wasn’t like this from the start I’ve kind of let it slide along with him not being controlling but I agree I need to work on myself I think I’ve mainly posted here for confirmation of what I need to do just to double check I am not over reacting and being to sensitive

Get rid of him

Agree with PP. This isn't a healthy relationship and you need to get rid for your own sake. Trust that you are worth more than being called names every day of your life by someone who is supposed to care about you. He sounds vile.

He sounds horrible, I think you are underracting not overracting!

This is verbal abuse.

Time to end the relationship, and go back to therapy.

I’m sad for myself as I really thought this could be it this could be the man I’ve gone through all this crap to finally find as he has good traits but I can’t do this anymore I feel like shit more and more each day

How would you feel if someone spoke to your mum, daughter, sister like this? It's totally unacceptable so dump him.

So you’re crazy and over sensitive for not wanting to be called moody for no reason, but he’s what, rational for sulking for a day because he was asked to say please? He sounds thick as well as nasty.

Well done on recognising that this is not right - you have made a huge step.

His name calling is not right or acceptable. My partner calls me by my name or nickname.

Get rid of him. Spend some more time on yourself, treat yourself to doing the things you want to do.

A partner should add positives to your life, not make you question yourself, not make you feel moody, not make you depressed.

My husband has never called me names in over 30 years. Never. And we argue at times.

The point of dating is to see these behaviours and still be able to walk away. Not to keep on accepting this shit day in, day out.

Then now, before the Christmas Glow sets in, pop him out, set him free and, as your parting gift, tell him he needs to work on his personal hygiene!

Then you can stop feeling like shit and start looking forward to a new year without the hassle.