Page 4 | Boyfriend talks to me like shit am I overreacting?

Mazziecat · 2022-12-05T17:21:06+00:00

I don’t have a circle of friends or anyone to really have this convo with so thought I’d bring it here. year and a half into a relationship with my boyfriend it’s been the most healthiest I’ve been in compared to previous relationships but now I’m questioning myself Isit normal to be called names all the time I’m absolutely sick of it I’ve voiced it multiple times I don’t find it funny but he goes on to say I’m being paranoid and to basically F off when it gets slightly heated words consist of… what’s up weirdo, are you moody today miss moody which then annoys me so yes I AM now ‘moody’ along with telling me I’m annoying for telling him to stop calling me names, I get called crazy woman, psycho, dxck head, mental woman over the smallest things like this morni no we had a argument as I woke up just not in the mood to him saying morning crazy woman which then triggers me into a bad mood where I don’t want to talk but he will continue to push and push with shitty remarks until he gets some sort of reaction of me telling him to leave me alone, I got his clothes ready for when he got out the shower to hear bring my socks… no please nothing so I said where is your manners no please? He told me to shut up and F off along with don’t bother me for the week which then I get the silent treatment all day. he doesn’t live with me he only stays at mine 3 days a week and those 3 days I’m starting to feel depressed he doesn’t get up until 11am/12 when I want to be up and out and get stuff done on the days I don’t have work or kids he never wants to do anything other than chill (he finishes work late) I just feel overall shit lack of affection, love, emotional support and crap communication. do I just call this a day or am I being silly and this is just a normal do your SO call you silly names on a daily?

MrsTerryPratchett · 06/12/2022 04:29

Im just so embarrassed at another failed relationship about to hit 30years old and I still haven’t managed to get it right!

The very very most successful people at relationships only have one relationship that works out. The rest end, or someone dies, or they break up. All of them. If you're lucky you get one person you love who outlives you! And they get to be sad. We all fail all the time in relationships. The trick is to dump the arseholes so at least you aren't suffering while you try it out.

It sounds as though you:

A. Think having a relationship is a goal/success
B. Don't have skills at knowing what behaviours are shit
C. Are clever enough to make good choices for your kids (bloody good job there)

Dump this wanker, work on yourself, find some hobbies and things you love, see if making a couple of female friends is something you can do, read some books, get some counselling, love your children, make your own self happy.

No more fetching socks for an ungrateful twatbadger.

Kassy1206 · 02/10/2023 08:15

So I've been with my partner now fiance for nearly 2 years, we have a son that's now 6 months old. Since being pregnant and having our son I jus feel its constant arguments and bickering, he speaks to me so disrespectfully, calls me a bitch, talks over me so I can't finish a sentence. He shouts in front of the kids at me, sometimes waking up the baby from his nap and I also have a 12 Yr old daughter from a previous relationship that adores him but has to Hear him shouting at me. I'm not saying he doesn't have his good points coz he does but the arguing has got to a point where its every day more or less and its bringing me to a new low! When I've tried to talk and communicate with him he jus rolls his eyes and mumbles shit or says whatever. We've split up once before over how he talks to me and the constant lack of affection and care. I literally have to ask him for a cuddle or a kiss. And when we do row and I get so upset, n cry he doesn't bat an eyelid. But it's making me so low within myself and damaging my self esteem, and making me anxious all the time..he works nights so I do all day and all night with the baby, then when he does have days off he ain't interested in spending time with me or showing me any love whatsoever.
I dunno what to do? Coz I love him but I know it's making me so unhappy but same time I know I've now jus had his son and jus feel slightly trapped in the situation. Use to be such a strong confident woman, and now I jus feel trodden down, weak and shit in myself. Jus scared to make the wrong decision, cos I know he wants to come home but I don't wanna end up back in same situation again coz he always promises he'll be better and always goes back to this.
Jus want some advice plz.

MincepiesforRudolph · 02/10/2023 08:36

Your DP is abusive, undermining, vile and childish - why on earth are you putting up with his behaviour? He can get his own clothes ready and leave!

You need to take some time to focus on building your self esteem so that you dont accept this behaviour in any future relationship. Would you want your DC to be in a similar relationship with someone who treated them so badly?

SallyWD · 02/10/2023 08:38

Really not normal. He sounds horrible. It sounds like he doesn't like or respect you at all. I'd end the relationship. What are you getting out of it?

Loubelle70 · 02/10/2023 08:38

Wolfiefan · 05/12/2022 17:28

Sounds like other relationships have conditioned you to be treated like shit. You deserve sooooo much better. And banter? It really means “I say horrible things to you but you’re not allowed to react in any way or you’re being over sensitive.” it’s bollocks.

This.
Also he calls you crazy woman? Id show him crazy if he said that to me.
Get rid hes a controlling gaslighter

Ofcourseshecan · 02/10/2023 08:46

Wolfiefan · 05/12/2022 17:28

Sounds like other relationships have conditioned you to be treated like shit. You deserve sooooo much better. And banter? It really means “I say horrible things to you but you’re not allowed to react in any way or you’re being over sensitive.” it’s bollocks.

I agree. I would not stay one day with a man who insulted me. He and your exes have broken your spirit. You need time to recover in peace.

Get away from him before he ties you down with children!

multiholk · 02/10/2023 08:49

@Mazziecat ! You are doing so well here !

getting stronger boundaries each time !

Ditch this one, and work with yourself to improve your self esteem and focus on what you enjoy doing.

you can do this !

Ofcourseshecan · 02/10/2023 08:50

Ooops, I didn’t read the full thread. I hope OP got away from him.

Ofcourseshecan · 02/10/2023 08:53

Kassy1206 · 02/10/2023 08:15

So I've been with my partner now fiance for nearly 2 years, we have a son that's now 6 months old. Since being pregnant and having our son I jus feel its constant arguments and bickering, he speaks to me so disrespectfully, calls me a bitch, talks over me so I can't finish a sentence. He shouts in front of the kids at me, sometimes waking up the baby from his nap and I also have a 12 Yr old daughter from a previous relationship that adores him but has to Hear him shouting at me. I'm not saying he doesn't have his good points coz he does but the arguing has got to a point where its every day more or less and its bringing me to a new low! When I've tried to talk and communicate with him he jus rolls his eyes and mumbles shit or says whatever. We've split up once before over how he talks to me and the constant lack of affection and care. I literally have to ask him for a cuddle or a kiss. And when we do row and I get so upset, n cry he doesn't bat an eyelid. But it's making me so low within myself and damaging my self esteem, and making me anxious all the time..he works nights so I do all day and all night with the baby, then when he does have days off he ain't interested in spending time with me or showing me any love whatsoever.
I dunno what to do? Coz I love him but I know it's making me so unhappy but same time I know I've now jus had his son and jus feel slightly trapped in the situation. Use to be such a strong confident woman, and now I jus feel trodden down, weak and shit in myself. Jus scared to make the wrong decision, cos I know he wants to come home but I don't wanna end up back in same situation again coz he always promises he'll be better and always goes back to this.
Jus want some advice plz.

Kassy, you need to start a new thread. On my phone there’s a little down-pointing arrow up the top of the screen beside Relationships. That shows options including Start a new thread. Then people will see your post and can respond.

Loubelle70 · 02/10/2023 09:03

Didn't realise this was ages ago 🤣

Original poster

Mazziecat · 13/11/2023 19:36

Still stuck still being spoken to like shit and still trying to bring myself to leave the longer it goes on the more I find it harder to walk.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME 🤡

OP posts:

IncompleteSenten · 13/11/2023 19:39

You have two choices.
1 stay with him and continue being treated like shit
2 end the relationship.

You need to ask yourself why you prefer option 1 over option 2.

Normally what stops us from change is fear. It would be a good start for you to ask yourself what you are afraid of.

Apples1112 · 13/11/2023 19:42

Not very nice. He finds it easy to jokingly put you down but it's his job to make you feel uplifted and good. If he doesn't want to compliment you and be nice then he isn't the man for you.

makeminealargeoneagain · 13/11/2023 19:48

OP he doesn't respect you. Sounds like you don't really respect yourself enough if you're still in this abusive relationship. Lots of people have offered advice suggesting it was very unhealthy. Have you talked to womens aid or done the freedom programme? Both can help in your situation. Please find the strength to leave and work on raising your own self worth. Best of luck xx

monsteramunch · 13/11/2023 21:11

Mazziecat · 13/11/2023 19:36

Still stuck still being spoken to like shit and still trying to bring myself to leave the longer it goes on the more I find it harder to walk.

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME 🤡

You have children. Even if they haven't met this bloke (have they?) they are being damaged because he is taking away their mum's time, attention and energy while making her feel shit, anxious and sad.

Continuing to see him isn't putting them first OP, sorry.

BadBarry · 13/11/2023 21:36

Think about how much happier you will be In December 2024 if you got rid of him and focused on yourself and what you want without a horrible person around who puts you down and makes you feel like crap.
You deserve better, he won't change, he will keep treating you badly.
Choose to have a better new year

ilovelamp82 · 13/11/2023 21:47

Please leave him. If your daughter came to you and told you her boyfriend treated her like this, what would you tell her?

You deserve so much better than this even if you don't currently believe that yourself.

Get out. A life of potential happiness awaits. It will not be found with this man. The longer you stay, the more your self worth will rot away and it will be harder to leave. Bite the bullet.

EverythingYouDoIsaBalloon · 13/11/2023 21:51

You're not overreacting, you're underreacting by not binning this abusive arsehole. I'm worried you can't seem to see how unacceptable his behaviour is, haven't rtft but it suggests your self-esteem is on the floor. You're worth more.

SleepingStandingUp · 13/11/2023 21:59

Your boyfriend talks to you like shit.

I didn't need to read the rest.

You deserve more.

Get rid.

He can go be a dickhead somewhere else.

FictionalCharacter · 13/11/2023 23:17

That is not someone calling you silly names. It's aggressive, spiteful verbal abuse. You are worth much more than that.

SwordToFlamethrower · 13/11/2023 23:47

Tell him OK I'm a cry baby! And you still insist on talking to me in such a way that I get upset, so there's the door and get fucked.

Get rid!! Life is waaaay too short to be blamed for reacting appropriately to verbal abuse.

SwordToFlamethrower · 13/11/2023 23:52

I met my husband at age 38. I'm 46 now and very happy! It took me ages to find a decent man, because there are so fucking few to be found!

Don't settle, get rid!

ShouldGoToBed · 14/11/2023 00:12

You have so much life ahead of you! You don’t need this horrible man who treats you like a slave, says horrible things to you and pretends that’s normal. It’s not normal and it’s not right. Trust yourself and get rid of him, and have a lovely Christmas with your kids.

Avatartar · 14/11/2023 00:16

OP a you only feel like shit cos that’s how he treats and makes you feel - you’ll be fine once you bin him

ShouldGoToBed · 14/11/2023 00:17

Oh love I just saw your first post was from a whole year ago. That’s so sad.

You deserve good things.

You deserve to be treated well.

You deserve to be loved.

Your kids deserve a whole and happy mum who isn’t being ground down by an abusive arsehole.

Please please please get rid of him and go find your happy future.