What are your immediate deal breakers when online dating?

[Smock86]

For me, they are-

1. drugs
2. saying you don’t want/like kids

to a lesser extent-

1. smoking
2. not seeing your children
3. admitting to cheating in a precious relationship

anyone else want to share? I’ve been guilty of overlooking all of these in the past but going to try to hold firm with them as I’ve shifted my boundaries on these before and got burned

And any and all references to ‘cuddles’. 🤢

And (netflix) and chill…
And often when they say ’romance’ they just mean sex.

And…. And….. and….. 🙃

FFS 😂 It gets worse. ‘Love a cosy night in cuddling up on the couch cuddling together cuddly wuddly.’

Seeming thick/no conversation. Going on about physical attraction crassly, or going on about sex at all.

And you're right about drugs of course.

What PP's say- saying on their profile that they're 'sensual' 'tactile' or anything like that. I'm on Christian dating sites and not going to do anything until marriage now, so it's even more inappropriate.

🤣🤣🤣

Mine were men who don’t pay on dates, men who don’t want to travel to me, drugs, smoking unemployed, live with their mother still, in a band, into gaming, bringing up sex on first few dates

An interest in YouTube conspiracy theories.
I would take this as uneducated and a drug user!

😁 Some things are more deal-breakery than others, it really does depend on the person.

Hard No:

• Tattoos
• Dog owner
• Lives 45m + away
• Cannot drive
• Far right political views
• Overly political
• No interest in books or culture in general
• Poor job/income prospects
• Bad relationship with family
• Not many friends
• Overly into grooming (do not like men shaved like a seal)
• Not enough grooming (I like them clean and a little bit hairy! With a natural look)
• Wears a toupe / wig
• Drug use, previous or current
• Smoker
• Recently separated (married or not)
• Bad dress sense
• Bad taste in music or films
• Bad sense of humour
• Vegan / vegetarian
• Teetotal
• Heavy drinker
• Beard owner
• Already has kids
• Bad teeth or oral hygiene
• Bad kisser
• Bad in bed
• Low sex drive
• Overweight / unfit
• Boring personality
• No hobbies
• Loves football / Match of the Day
• No interest in any sports

... I could go on. There's lots I would avoid based on previous exes.

Things I thought I'd never be swayed on, but currently dating someone who has the following attributes I thought I'd never find attractive (but actually suit us very well - and his baldness and short beard are very attractive!):

• Baldness
• Beards (as long as it's short, clean and well kept)
• Living with family
• No car (but can drive)
• Unstable job (but does pay well)

(Single man in his early 30s here)

My dealbreakers are:

• Drugs - I dont mind if she smokes a bit of tobacco or weed but im talking about drugs like coccain, heroin, meth etc. I dont do any drugs or smoke tobacco though

• Overweight - I dont expect her to be athletic like me because im very into fitness but im not sexually attracted to overweight women

• kids - I do really want my own kids but I just dont want to date a woman who already has kids, this wouldnt be a problem if I was a single father myself though

• no bisexuals, pansexuals, asexuals, non binarys etc - As a straight man I want a straight woman and I couldnt date an asexual woman because sex is important to me. I also believe that gender is binary and your either straight, gay/lesbian, bi or trans imo

• must be monogamous

• Politics - Id say im more center/right leaning although I dont care what views she has as long as she respects mine just like I respect hers.

• Vegans - id date a vegan as long as she doesnt try forcing vegtables down my throat because I love meat lol

• Has a penis - you have to be carefull these days lol

I dont care about height cause im 6ft so as long as she isnt 6ft 2+ then I dont care, I also dont care about her career or how much she earns because i make good money myself. Dont care about race or boob size, dont care about stretch marks or scars (I find them hot!).

Pros/turn ons:

• nerdy (Im a bit of a nerd/gamer myself)
• Has knowledge in things like mechanics, electronics, programmig etc (Because I love all that stuff myself)
• good hygine
• good around kids because I want kids myself
• a nice back
• nice pair of feet
• pubic hair
• stretch marks/scars
• someone who makes me feel sexy and who likes my body
• someone who allows me to have my own space because as an introvert who likes to "think" and daydream Sometimes I just need some time to myself

This list made me feel a bit ill and I don’t even know why.

Out of interest, what do you think ‘pansexual’ means?

Just me being nosy @Ginger451
You mention a deal breaker would be someone with children , and someone overweight.
But then you say a pro would be stretch marks? 🤔

@RishisProudMum its just bisexual but also being attracted to those new genders that they keep adding to the list which make zero sense lol. A

"Sexuality" is what "Sex" your attracted to and there are only two sexes (male and female).

@MishaBukvic women (and men) of all body types can have stretch marks, A bit of chubbiness is fine and I understand that a woman usually puts on weight when having a baby but I do have a preference for slim/petite women

Reading these lists I'm surprised any of us find a partner😂

I see.

Ditto. Although I have a few superficials - no dead fish, no motor bike straddlers, no pierced ears, no chirpy comments (battered but still hopeful shite) or worse, someone who refers to himself in third person. Ugh

If I ever joined an online dating app, everyone would swipe left because of all my cats.

Earning 6 figures or expected to reach it in the near future

Oh stop it. Some of us with PhDs and senior roles don't earn that. Guess I'm just a failure then.

If I was single and back on OLD, major ones:

• Has to be single and not newly single
• Doesn't send sleazy sex messages or generic messages that are an obvious copy and paste job
• Doesn't have poser mirror photos, like those topless "sexy" mirror photos
• Must not have kids he doesn't see - what a prick if he doesn't see his children
• Ambitious, career driven, knows what he wants from a relationship and is honest about that
• Claims that all his exes are psychos... load of rubbish he is probably the psycho
• No smokers
• No massive gamers

I guess it depends on age bracket as well though. In my twenties I would never have dated someone who had been married or had children. But I would now.
Also, a man in his mid 30s or 40s who has never had a serious relationship or still lives at home, or as a lodger would be a no (not a house share with friends or professionals, I mean an actual lodger in someone else's family home. Had experience with this, he had no drive or ambition for anything more).

Why would their mother being dead be a dealbreaker?! Seems bizarre to me.

In fact, if someone told me that I needed my mother to be alive (she is by the way) to be considered worthy of being dated, then that would be reason enough for me not to want to date them!

I know!