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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I think I found a mini vibrator in my car

375 replies

howdoIhandlethissituation · 29/11/2022 20:09

Obviously name changed.

Context: late 40s, married 20 years, two dcs late teens still at home. Sexless marriage for 5 years. Before that very unsatisfactory. No intimacy.
No communication other than day-to-day running of the home and family.
I've checked out but so has he, long ago.
Basically I gave up trying (aka banging head against a brick wall), spent several years getting quite depressed, then went on antidepressants, hrt and had therapy.
Feel better about life in general and in myself, but still not brave enough to fall it a day on my marriage, for the usual reasons: fear of the unknown, upheaval for dcs, financial implications (not dire but scary all the same).

Today I found what I think is a mini vibrator in the compartment on the inside of the driver's door of our shared car. The dcs don't drive. Dh and I are the only ones who could have put it there and it wasn't me. I have never even seen one but it's metallic, pink, about 4 inches long, looks like a bullet and has an AAA battery. Nothing happens when I press the button but I can't think of anything else it could be.

As it was in the car I assume he's been using prostitutes.

So, how do I handle this?

My plan is to try a new battery tomorrow to confirm what it is.

Then check bank account for cash withdrawals.

Advice?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
Cantstandbullshit · 30/11/2022 15:00

howdoIhandlethissituation · 30/11/2022 14:56

In the end I ended up asking him before bed last night.

Me: I found something strange in the car today when I was having a clear out and I have no idea whose it is or how it got there. Do you know anything about it?

Dh: ( Genuinely puzzled look, then lightbulb moment) Oh, you mean the little pink torch in the inside of the door?

Me: Torch?! So you put it there?

Dh: Yeah. I found it behind the windscreen wipers when I was in (town he went to for a work meeting last week)

Me: What do you mean, behind the windscreen wipers?

Dh: I saw something pink stuck there when I came back to the car after my meeting, thought it might come in handy so put it in the door.

Me: It's not a torch, dh. It's a vibrator.

Dh: ( Genuinely surprised) A vibrator?! What would a vibrator be doing there?!

Me: Good question.

I actually believe him.

So either:

  • Someone left it there during the 90 minutes my dh was in a meeting. Why? Who? How?
  • It fell out of the sky/a plane (but surely that would have shattered my windscreen?)
  • It found its way there sometime before that day (again who, why and when?). This means I have potentially been driving around town with a shiny pink vibrator on the bonnet of my car for quite some time.

Well I guess the next question is what next did your marriage? Are you just going to wait for the next gotcha moment to ask for a divorce, or just divorce now since you really don’t have a marriage anyway or try to work on it?

FlissyPaps · 30/11/2022 15:01

A torch 😂

Tell him to get the torch and turn it on!!!

Surely he’s turned it on and seen light come out of it if he knows it’s a torch.

Oh OP I’m begging please try and upload a photo. I have owned lots of bullets and vibrators. I’m sure other posts have too. We will be able to confirm.

Redebs · 30/11/2022 15:01

Was going to say just ask him.
Thank goodness you did.

I think some kid probably put it there as a joke. It's the kind of thing they find funny.

Tell your husband not to pick up random things and put them in the car, bless him.

Oh, and sounds like some talking therapy might be good for you both in the long term?

howdoIhandlethissituation · 30/11/2022 15:03

On a more serious note, this incident and your replies have made me face facts.
We do need to either work things out or go our separate ways.

Thank you to those who pointed out that it's not easy to just walk away from half a lifetime together. I am not 'staying with him for his money'.

Thanks also for some of the hilarious responses!

Now I need to go and change my settings: you can imagine what my inbox looked like!

OP posts:
PotteringPondering · 30/11/2022 15:04

howdoIhandlethissituation · 30/11/2022 14:56

In the end I ended up asking him before bed last night.

Me: I found something strange in the car today when I was having a clear out and I have no idea whose it is or how it got there. Do you know anything about it?

Dh: ( Genuinely puzzled look, then lightbulb moment) Oh, you mean the little pink torch in the inside of the door?

Me: Torch?! So you put it there?

Dh: Yeah. I found it behind the windscreen wipers when I was in (town he went to for a work meeting last week)

Me: What do you mean, behind the windscreen wipers?

Dh: I saw something pink stuck there when I came back to the car after my meeting, thought it might come in handy so put it in the door.

Me: It's not a torch, dh. It's a vibrator.

Dh: ( Genuinely surprised) A vibrator?! What would a vibrator be doing there?!

Me: Good question.

I actually believe him.

So either:

  • Someone left it there during the 90 minutes my dh was in a meeting. Why? Who? How?
  • It fell out of the sky/a plane (but surely that would have shattered my windscreen?)
  • It found its way there sometime before that day (again who, why and when?). This means I have potentially been driving around town with a shiny pink vibrator on the bonnet of my car for quite some time.

This just made my day. Brilliant.

WalkingOnTheCracks · 30/11/2022 15:13

Makes total sense, actually. I think it's a 'thing' at the moment.

I found a used condom and a pastel v-neck jumper in the backseat footwell of my wife's car, and apparently she too found them under the windscreen wiper, when she came out of Morrison's. Just chucked them in the back and forgot about them. It's very easily done.

OldFan · 30/11/2022 15:17

So he claims someone stuck it there like they would a note? Grin

I imagine it wouldn't even be that easy to get it behind a windscreen wiper. And someone would have to deliberately put that there of course. Sounds like bollox to me @howdoIhandlethissituation .

Sundayvibes · 30/11/2022 15:31

OldFan · 30/11/2022 15:17

So he claims someone stuck it there like they would a note? Grin

I imagine it wouldn't even be that easy to get it behind a windscreen wiper. And someone would have to deliberately put that there of course. Sounds like bollox to me @howdoIhandlethissituation .

Behind the windscreen wipers not underneath. You get leaves, twigs and all sorts stuck there.
sounds plausible to me.

Stop shit stirring

Regularsizedrudy · 30/11/2022 15:47

Sundayvibes · 30/11/2022 15:31

Behind the windscreen wipers not underneath. You get leaves, twigs and all sorts stuck there.
sounds plausible to me.

Stop shit stirring

Yes I’m having to have my wipers on full blast atm otherwise it’s just dildo after dildo hitting the windshield. It’s not surprising one would get stuck in this dildo raining weather.

Bedazzled22 · 30/11/2022 15:48

@WalkingOnTheCracks brilliant response made me absolutely LOL!

still chuckling…

on a serious note, OP, I hope this leads you to making some decisions about your life.

Sundayvibes · 30/11/2022 15:58

Regularsizedrudy · 30/11/2022 15:47

Yes I’m having to have my wipers on full blast atm otherwise it’s just dildo after dildo hitting the windshield. It’s not surprising one would get stuck in this dildo raining weather.

Clearly someone placed it behind the windscreen wipers whilst it was parked.

LouiseAh · 30/11/2022 16:27

I guess it's possible.

Seriously. some drunk person realised the battery had gone and decided to put it under someone's wiper blade. for a laugh.

Except most men/ women would sling it in the nearest bin not keep it thinking it was a torch.

If you didn't know what one looked like, it's highly likely your H doesn't.

hellycat · 30/11/2022 16:28

What an utter bullshitter, but a quick-thinking one, I'll grant him that.

It reminds me of the time when my ex partner realised that one of his porn mags (this was historical, pre-internet days) was sticking out underneath the chest of drawers as we were getting into bed one night, so he made a great play of bending down to 'scratch a terribly itchy toe', pushing his foot across the carpet as he did so. Men have an innate ability to react speedily in these circumstances, I find.

wickedstepmothfker · 30/11/2022 16:34

Does look like a vape. How about taking it and seeing who pipes up?

OldFan · 30/11/2022 16:55

Behind the windscreen wipers not underneath. You get leaves, twigs and all sorts stuck there. sounds plausible to me. Stop shit stirring

Are you claiming a vibrator was carried there by the wind? I'm not shit stirring at all. I believe @howdoIhandlethissituation but I don't believe her husband's explanation for how a vibrator got in his glove box. Would someone take it into their car, anyway? I think they'd just chuck it.

TallulahBetty · 30/11/2022 16:56

Regularsizedrudy · 30/11/2022 15:47

Yes I’m having to have my wipers on full blast atm otherwise it’s just dildo after dildo hitting the windshield. It’s not surprising one would get stuck in this dildo raining weather.

Reader, I howled 😂

TallulahBetty · 30/11/2022 16:57

I believe him. People find all things funny to stick on cars. I remember once as a drunk teenager, we covered a sanitary towel in ketchup and stuck it to someone's bonnet.

TheSausageKingofChicago · 30/11/2022 16:57

A torch 😂

You sound as gormless as each other. Maybe there’s hope for you yet…

Who knows, maybe finding a random vibrator on your car could be just the spark you need to reignite your missing passion? Perfect joke stocking filler.

musingsinmidlife · 30/11/2022 16:59

It would be kind of odd to have a vibrator just loose in the car. Especially to think it was a prostitute in the car! Someone used it and then just dropped it?

You don't talk, you have checked out, you haven't had sex in 5 years. Your marriage is on paper only at this point. I am not sure why you care that much what he does. Phone snooping seems extreme given the lack of relationship the two of you have. Put both of you out of your misery and end the facade of a marriage.

OldFan · 30/11/2022 17:02

Who knows, maybe finding a random vibrator on your car could be just the spark you need to reignite your missing passion? Perfect joke stocking filler.

@TheSausageKingofChicago That'd be the only generous explanation for why her DH kept it. Having said that, most women aren't keen to use 2nd hand sex toys so you'dve thought he'dve thought of that.

Nancienoo · 30/11/2022 17:04

TheSausageKingofChicago · 30/11/2022 16:57

A torch 😂

You sound as gormless as each other. Maybe there’s hope for you yet…

Who knows, maybe finding a random vibrator on your car could be just the spark you need to reignite your missing passion? Perfect joke stocking filler.

😂😂

Nancienoo · 30/11/2022 17:05

OldFan · 30/11/2022 17:02

Who knows, maybe finding a random vibrator on your car could be just the spark you need to reignite your missing passion? Perfect joke stocking filler.

@TheSausageKingofChicago That'd be the only generous explanation for why her DH kept it. Having said that, most women aren't keen to use 2nd hand sex toys so you'dve thought he'dve thought of that.

Milton!

Nancienoo · 30/11/2022 17:06

I find crisp packets and leaves not a touch of velvet love bullet

ArcaneWireless · 30/11/2022 17:08

Nancienoo · 30/11/2022 17:06

I find crisp packets and leaves not a touch of velvet love bullet

I think I’d be thankful for that 😉

OldFan · 30/11/2022 17:13

Milton!

😂

I find crisp packets and leaves not a touch of velvet love bullet

@Nancienoo Ah but apparently a vibe can be carried on the wind in the air with the leaves. It could happen to any one of us.

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