I'm 33, he's 23. Am I mad?

[Cluelessat33]

I've met a 23 year old, who pursued my pretty keenly. I resisted at first because I considered him too young.

I've eventually given in. He seems pretty mature for his age. And I thought why not? Am I mad?

Why would he get bored? What's boring about the OP that we don't know about?

My partner was 24 and I was 35 when we met. Been together for 2 and half years and expecting our first baby. I'm so much happier than I was with my previous relationships and he's much tidier and more mature than me 😂. Children is the only thing that might get complicated, of things get serious, otherwise go for it.

Over 10 years between my partner and I. We got together when I was in my 20s. He's now mid 50s and acting a lot older than me, less energy and less drive. I'm finding it hard.

I don't think there's anything as straightforward as 'right' and 'wrong' when it comes to age gaps - everyone is different, there are some mature 23 year olds and some immature 55 year olds! It really depends on how you get on, if you enjoy time together and feel you have enough in common.

That said, I would be mindful of the potential for future issues - you might be (forgive me if this isn't the case) thinking of having children in the next 5 or 7 years, whereas it's unlikely to be on his radar for some time yet. Women tend to think about having children younger than men do (generalising I know) anyway, so if the man is 10 years younger than you, your 'window' for having children might be 15 years apart!

If however you're thinking of a fun relationship that has a shelf life (or if children aren't on your radar at all) then go for it!

Look at Emmanuel Macron and his wife… still together after all the years. I think he was 17 and she 35 or some such?

In 1993, at the age of 40, she met the 15-year-old Emmanuel Macron in La Providence High School where she was a teacher and he was a student and a classmate of her daughter Laurence. She divorced Auzière in January 2006 and married Macron in October 2007

For a bit of casual sex sure but he is too young IMO for anything serious. 7 years is nothing with 30 and 30 but when they are under 25 I feel it's too young.

sorry meant 30 and 37.

And is that something to aspire to, @JangolinaPitt?

I watched a psychology podcast recently, 90% of men under 25 have cheated and it only really tails off after 28.

he’d need to be very mature for me to consider.

Didn’t say aspire to😁 Just that it can be long term.
(I am a drama teacher and can’t imagine ever fancying any of the smelly teens I teach, adorable as they are as pupils 😁)

You'd be surprised actually, as it tends to be the other way round. The OP is going to have plenty going on that a 22 year old who finds her attractive will like a lot, and may not be in a hurry to let go. Actually that's my word of caution OP. They can get pretty intense at that age so I'd manage his expectations if you want something casual.

There was a 30 something year old teaches in the US who went to jail for sleeping with her 13 year old student.

Proceeded to get knocked up and they married and had more kids after she was released.

Should we consider that a success story too? They stayed together so he must be happy? Let's just ignore grooming and predatory behaviour because "it worked our in the end"

Sorry, this subject irks me...

My son is nearly that age, and I would raise my eyebrows if he were involved with a 33 yr old woman. Macron and his wife give me the creeps.

If you get on, and time doesn't show that he is, actually, too immature for you, then yes! Crack on. I have some close friends who are this gap (woman older) and were similar ages to you and him, when they met, and more than 2 decades on they are still together and have raised a child almost to adulthood.

I wonder if everyone on here would be as enthusiastic about the situation if it was the other way round.......33 year old man, 23 year old girl. I can hear words such as 'grooming', 'letch', 'perv' etc

just sayin'

An acquaintance is 15 years her husband's senior.
He's 56, she's 71.
She's sporty, outgoing, youthful and dynamic.
He hasn't worked since they married, has all sorts of mood/health disorders, doesn't like going out much.
Looks weird to outsiders but it's their business.

Well obviously no ones going to say that to the OP. The man asked her out. She's deciding what to do. She's not been hanging round leering at young men, flattering and coercing them until she's found a vulnerable or naive one, has she?
If people say these things about older men and young women, perhaps it's because the circumstances are different?

I bet no one would be encouraging the man to go have fun/enjoy himself...

Have you got your own place ?
Where does he live , parents still ?

He will be telling his mates how he has a 'MILF'. Sod that.

I have a very good friend who met her DH when she was 33 and he was 24. They are happily together with three children 15 years later. The key things were that he was very mature for his age, she made it plain up front that having children was a priority (he agreed) and they really suit each other on multiple levels. So I don't think an age gap should automatically be a barrier but it does need to be openly discussed especially if you want children.

Not mad at all. Enjoy

I think this is different to OP I think at around 30s your maturity and life experience is far different to when your only 23.

Sorry but yes your mad OP.

That's not too bad and if he's mature for his age shouldn't really matter. Go for it.

What would concern me further down the line is if you want a family. He might not want to for many years and cld be too late for you. Sorry, I always get ahead of myself 🙈