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Original poster

Sexy or just sleazy?

111 replies

Tuilpmouse · 27/11/2022 09:26

Ok... been messaging a guy for a couple of weeks or so on OLD. All good so far, and looking to meet next weekend.

Anyway, he hasn't included any full body shots in his profile, so I asked for one... And he sent one with him just in his Calvin Kleins! Have to admit, he looked pretty hot!

Anyway, i mentioned this to a friend, and she thought he was a sleazebag for sending that, and I should ditch and move on. Now I'm not sure so I thought I'd look for some other opinions. So, was his photo sexy or just sleazy?

OP posts:
Sandra1984 · 27/11/2022 11:56

HelloGooodBye · 27/11/2022 11:54

I think if he was more invested in something serious and long term he wouldn't have sent it. He wants NSA fun. I hope he's not expecting you to send a similarly (un)dressed photo of your body back to him?

Sending a revealing photo is totally advertising the goods. I don't think it's sleazy but very sexual.

This.

TurtleTriplets · 27/11/2022 12:32

I think you were a bit over the line asking in the first place but I have never tried old so maybe that's the done thing.

I imagine he had the shot saved in his phone and many women have received the same one. It's good he is so confident in his body though and with good reason by the sound of it.

Original poster
Tuilpmouse · 27/11/2022 12:35

They advise on dating sites to include a full-length shot with your photos. What's the point of getting to the stage of meeting someone if they're going to be put off by your physique in person?

Exactly this... OLD is surely challenging enough without being expected to go on a 'blind date' (from the shoulders down at least) because I'm too prudish to ask for a full body shot, or pretend that it doesn't matter what they look like. I was expecting a clothed shot btw - his photo was a (pleasant) surprise!

OP posts:
Original poster
Tuilpmouse · 27/11/2022 12:36

And it's not like he opened with this photo if we'd been talking and flirting online for a fortnight. I think I've made up my mind :)

OP posts:
Original poster
Tuilpmouse · 27/11/2022 12:40

True but I have no idea why someone would ask for a full body shot in the first place? What does it give you?

So you wouldn't care about what kind of body your potential partner would have? Fair enough, but surely you understand that it's important for some of us (it's far not the only thing of course!).

OP posts:
FloydPepper · 27/11/2022 13:18

Tuilpmouse · 27/11/2022 10:15

Thanks for the replies.

As for my request being sleazy, i just wanted more than a head shot before agreeing to meet up. Superficial? Maybe, but if I was turned right off by a photo of him, then there's be no point in meeting up and wasting both of our times.

A bloke asking for a full body shot before agreeing to meet up wouldn’t fare well on here. Shallow, pervy, sad, sleazy, all of those

RogueV · 27/11/2022 13:23

You asked for a full body shot and he sent one! I don’t understand the uproar

Original poster
Tuilpmouse · 27/11/2022 13:43

@FloydPepper

A bloke asking for a full body shot before agreeing to meet up wouldn’t fare well on here. Shallow, pervy, sad, sleazy, all of those

You're right, they would... but why is it "shallow, pervy, sad and sleazy" to want to know what the person you're planning to go on a date with look like clothed? It's reasonable surely.

I already posted a full body photo (clothed!) in my bio as recommended by the OLD site. Is the OLD site sleazy to recommend this?

OP posts:
wizzywig · 27/11/2022 14:04

Show us and we'll tell you if it's sleazy or sexy

FloydPepper · 27/11/2022 14:10

Tuilpmouse · 27/11/2022 13:43

@FloydPepper

A bloke asking for a full body shot before agreeing to meet up wouldn’t fare well on here. Shallow, pervy, sad, sleazy, all of those

You're right, they would... but why is it "shallow, pervy, sad and sleazy" to want to know what the person you're planning to go on a date with look like clothed? It's reasonable surely.

I already posted a full body photo (clothed!) in my bio as recommended by the OLD site. Is the OLD site sleazy to recommend this?

Oh I agree, it was more a comment on what gets posted on here, not the real world 😀

FloydPepper · 27/11/2022 14:13

Although I do think any bloke asking for a full body shot to judge the size of his date would get some stick.

Ofcourseshecan · 27/11/2022 14:15

growgrowinggrown · 27/11/2022 09:55

You asked for a full body shot? What did you think you were going to get 😅
Obviously he's going to send something that shows him in his best light which admittedly it did so just enjoy it and judge him on his chat in person.

I agree. You’d see that much on the beach! Nude would have been sleazy.

mam0918 · 27/11/2022 15:12

Tuilpmouse · 27/11/2022 12:40

True but I have no idea why someone would ask for a full body shot in the first place? What does it give you?

So you wouldn't care about what kind of body your potential partner would have? Fair enough, but surely you understand that it's important for some of us (it's far not the only thing of course!).

I actually can't get around why it matters at all and can't for the life of me 'understand' it, I will however say the girls I know with that sort of view that it does matter are the chronically single ones.

You could be with someone a year and their body changes completely. I mean no one is going to get to 80 with the same body they had at 25 its litrally the LEAST important thing when picking a life mate and is based in absoloutly nothing but shallowness.

Gwenhwyfar · 27/11/2022 15:38

"It was her who asked for a full body pic!"

Full body picture doesn't mean naked or half dressed though, does it? Why is everyone saying OP is sleazy?

Gwenhwyfar · 27/11/2022 15:40

TheVolturi · 27/11/2022 11:16

Christ he couldn't win here could he.

Well he could have sent a full body photo with clothes on!

gogohmm · 27/11/2022 15:41

You asked for full body! I think it's fine, yes maybe he interpreted it differently from what you imagined but if he's hot, flaunt it!

category12 · 27/11/2022 15:42

mam0918 · 27/11/2022 15:12

I actually can't get around why it matters at all and can't for the life of me 'understand' it, I will however say the girls I know with that sort of view that it does matter are the chronically single ones.

You could be with someone a year and their body changes completely. I mean no one is going to get to 80 with the same body they had at 25 its litrally the LEAST important thing when picking a life mate and is based in absoloutly nothing but shallowness.

Show quote history

Oh come on, physical attraction is important. Love develops but it's silly to tell people they're shallow for wanting someone who's physically desirable to them. We're not all attracted to the same things either, so what might put me off, might fire someone else's engine.

It's a recipe for a shit sexlife and "low libido" to try to make something work if the physical attraction isn't there in the first place.

Of course people's bodies change and ageing happens, but most people aren't so shallow that their shared lives and love (and own changed bodies and ageing) makes them lose interest.

Women shouldn't be guilted into giving blokes they don't fancy chances.

Whatevergetsyouthroughthenight · 27/11/2022 15:43

I think that there’s a subtle difference between a full body shot and a full length shot. It could have been a misunderstanding! Body implies nudity and length doesn’t (although full length might elicit a dick pick from some of the sleazy crowd) but in keeping his underwear on he was complying with your request.

gogohmm · 27/11/2022 15:44

Definitely worth a date op - just be sensible, public place, let someone know where you are going... have fun!

napody · 27/11/2022 15:46

gannett · 27/11/2022 10:01

If you liked it, you liked it.

If you were turned off, you were turned off.

Your friend's opinion doesn't really matter.

You asked for a full body shot and you got one so while he was definitely upping the ante I don't think he was overstepping (and really, the person who sends an underwear photo with their face in the frame is the one making themselves more vulnerable).

Personally I always enjoyed a good picture of a good male body when I was dating.

Yup. Don't see the problem. Enjoy!
Is your friend jealous?

Original poster
Tuilpmouse · 27/11/2022 17:10

@mam0918

I actually can't get around why it matters at all and can't for the life of me 'understand' it, I will however say the girls I know with that sort of view that it does matter are the chronically single ones. You could be with someone a year and their body changes completely. I mean no one is going to get to 80 with the same body they had at 25 its litrally the LEAST important thing when picking a life mate and is based in absoloutly nothing but shallowness.

To be attracted by physical appearance is not "absolutely nothing but shallowness", it's how most of us are wired sexually. To deny that would be to deny reality, and repress and overlook feelings because they weren't somehow egalitarian.

Yes, of course physical appearance will change over time, and no one is will be as sexually attractive when we're 80 as we were when we were 25. But that goes for most things...

I want to be with someone I can go on long walks and be active with... am I "superficial" to want that because they won't be able to do that in their 80s?

I want someone who's stimulating mentally.... I suppose that's superficial too as someone might have a brain injury next year, or get dementia when they're older.

Be some kind of puritan if you like, but don't judge me and others who don't live up to your ascetic ideals.

OP posts:
EvenMoreFuriousVexation · 27/11/2022 17:16

I'd do a reverse image search if I were you. Might not be him.

Thisisworsethananticpated · 27/11/2022 17:16

😂
well you did ask ….

Original poster
Tuilpmouse · 27/11/2022 17:18

@napody

Yup. Don't see the problem. Enjoy!Is your friend jealous?

Maybe, but think it's more that she's displaying the same kind of Victorian prudishness shown by certain posters on here!

OP posts:
samyeagar · 27/11/2022 17:18

I think how this works is... If you liked what you saw, it's sexy. If you didn't like it, it's sleazy.

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