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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Partner can't get over my termination

121 replies

Greenginghamdress · 27/11/2022 08:48

Bit of a background:
I have one DD (5 next month)
It was a huge struggle in the early months and I had post partum psychosis and terrible underlying depression.
I fell pregnant by accident when my daughter was 18 months old. I terminated after discussion with my partner who agreed at the time it was the right decision. I don't think we could have coped. I don't regret the decision.
However ever since that day, my partner has thrown the decision in my face.
Over 3 years later, his technique to deal with it is go to the pub, come home drunk and play the terminator music loudly on the Bluetooth speaker. Because I am 'a terminator' apparently 😭 (I only had a termination at 19/20, years before I met him) and have a good at me.
He's spoken to friends, family, I've tried talking to him every which way. He can't get over it.
He says I ruined his life and killed his dreams, and my DD will never have a sibling as it's my fault.
FIL died this week so he's in a bad place mentally although he's been like this before, plenty of times.
I slept on my daughter's floor last night as he was drinking and shouting downstairs and I didn't want him to disturb us. He's been up all night drinking and crying.
I feel bad for him but I'm starting to hate him too.
What would help, counselling? It feels like psychological torture sometimes the way he is with me.

OP posts:
GerbilsForever24 · 27/11/2022 11:46

My friends just tell me to chuck him out. He won't go. My parents hate him but won't help me practically at all.

I suspect he's been an abusive twat for a very long time. Have your friends and parents being telling you he's bad news for years, probably before the termination? Have you said you'd leave him before then changed your mind? Do you defend him to them? Becuase they have the sound of people who are tired of giving advice that is ignored. You are clearly oblivious to how abusive he is. I don't blame you - that's why abusers get away with it.

Agree with al previous advice re police, WA etc. But let me ask you this - he wants full custody? Does he do half the childcare or more? does he do half the work at home? Does he know who her friends are and have their parents' phone numbers....?

I bet he doesn't. Threatening to take her away is just another abusive tactic.

PS A man grieving post termination is entirely possible. But grief doesn't justify abusive behaviour. Genuine grief should be dealt with, not used as an excuse. He's a dick.

CarefreeMe · 27/11/2022 11:51

Was he abusive before the termination?

Perhaps he is unable to process the grief appropriately and needs counselling.

It is not uncommon for men to behave unreasonably when processing extreme grief as they do tend to struggle with emotions compared to women.

Perhaps people should really think about the impact of their decisions on others when it is something so gravely final.

I agree that he is struggling.

But I do not think your partners health trumps yours.

You should never sacrifice yourself just to make your partner happy.

If he truly cared about her he would remove himself from the situation, not threaten her with taking her child away if she dares to leave him.

Greenginghamdress · 27/11/2022 12:51

We've never had an amazing relationship, but we used to have fun together.

I got pregnant by suprise with DD. When we had DD he was pretty cold about my post partum psychosis and used to call me unhelpful names and wonder why I wasn't coping. He didn't do night feeds, or much with DD in fact he never did. Yes, that did play a part in me deciding to terminate our 2nd pregnancy.

My friends used to like him years ago and so did my parents. Then friends and my brother saw him drunk once...unrelated to what I've mentioned in this post...and he's offended a few people.
My parents didn't like him as he was nasty to my brother once in front of his friends, in fact more than that- he said vile things to him whilst drunk.
I don't confide in my friends much. They are either single with not much knowledge of relationships (no offence meant) or people we know mutually.
My parents agree it's terrible behaviour but they don't want me and DD in their house...my dad has no patience with young children and wants his space. They also say I'll be worse off a single mother and to basically stick it out until DD is older. I mentioned to them about a refuge and they said it would be a 'hole' and worse than my situation now ...sorry that sounds very snobby but my parents are not that nice in all honesty I personally think that's awful advice to give.

The advice I've been given here is great though and I shall start putting things in place. I am scared to ring the police due to fear of time wasting but I really want to and I'll keep a record of everything that happens from now on. Thank you all so very much.

OP posts:
Herejustforthisone · 27/11/2022 13:14

Threads like this make me so thoroughly depressed. The sheer number of revolting cunts of men who walk this earth, doing unspeakably abusive things to women and children is horrifying.

It makes me want to build some sort of beautiful commune where women, children and animals can live free of this utter shit.

layladomino · 27/11/2022 13:16

Please ignore what your parents are saying. It is MUCH better to be in a refuge, safe and away from abuse, than to live with an abusive, vile person.

Please ignore those posters saying that this is because if his 'grief' at the termination. He jointly made the decision to terminate with you. Yes it's still normal to feel grief, but grief doesn't make you abusive. He would have found another reason to abuse you if he hadn't had this one. And even if it is in some way related to his grief, he has a duty (and should want) to seek help so he can get his head back in the right place and stop being such a vile husband and father.

He is abusive, full stop. He is vile. He is damaging you and your child. He will do more damage the longer you are with him. Record his shouting and taunting and music playing, without him knowing you're doing it. Then save it somewhere safe. Report him to the Police each time he shouts / becomes aggressive / frightens you and or your child. Both those things will come in useful when he threatens to seek custody of your child.

But realisitically, they are just threats. He is making those threats to keep you in place and to stop you leaving him. He's very unlikely to try to go through with it, and very unlikely to be succesful. But the more you have recorded, reported, discussed his abuse with others (including womens aid) the less likely he will be to even try.

Please see a solicitor and set the ball rolling. And don't tell him what you're doing - he sounds like someone who could turn very nasty once he knows he's losing.

Bonheurdupasse · 27/11/2022 13:22

OP

Please don't be worried about reporting it to the police. I'm sure I'm not alone amongst the women on this thread wishing we were there with you and could encourage you to make the call.
Please do it.
You should do it now while things have presumably cooled off, in preparation of the (unfortunately!) next time he kicks off - when you would ring them "live" as such.

OP please do it. I live with someone who's been abused and it turns my heart inside out to think of what you're going through. Please DM me if you want a metaphorical hand hold.

category12 · 27/11/2022 13:30

When we had DD he was pretty cold about my post partum psychosis and used to call me unhelpful names and wonder why I wasn't coping.

This shows he was in fact abusive before the termination.

Refuges are not "holes". OK, it's nobody's idea of choice to go into one, and I'm sure there's variation in quality, but it's a place to get centred safely and have support to get a fresh start.

Partner can't get over my termination
Cherrysoup · 27/11/2022 13:52

Please don’t stick it out til your dd is older, this is a terrible relationship for you and an awful model for her to see. You’re being abused, please phone Women’s aid and get advice on how to get out of this.

NatalieIsFreezing · 27/11/2022 14:05

Wow I wonder if the hands-off, not bothered Dad will genuinely be going for full custody or whether he's just saying it to blackmail you into putting up with his disgusting behaviour...

Daffodilsandtuplips · 27/11/2022 14:23

He is an abusive drunk. Using the termination as an excuse to openly abuse you.

Ignore your parents, the put up and shut up advice is awful. In my eyes, It makes them complicit in his abuse of you and your daughter. . What kind of a grandfather would see his granddaughter subjected to weekly episodes of abusive behaviour because he likes his ‘space’?

Please take the excellent advice given by so many helpful posters on here and call the police the next time he abuses you and your child. You won’t be classed as a time waster.
He won’t go for full custody, he’s using the threat of it to keep you from leaving.
However a record of DV against his name will ensure he doesn’t get it should he try to.

LadyMarmaladeAtkins · 27/11/2022 15:07

It feels like psychological torture sometimes the way he is with me.

Because it is. While it may have affected him, he's an adult who could have chosen to go and get some counselling to deal with that. But no, he is shouting and drinking and presumably scaring your child. This is just his (latest) excuse for a specific type of behaviour, I'll bet? If it wasn't this "reason" it'd be another one. Also, it sounds as though the termination was very wise from the perspective of your health and wellbeing and also your child's, so there is an element of him trying to control and belittle you by getting all dramatic about how it has affected him with scant regard for you. Her not having a sibling is going to affect her far less than his behaviour, but he won't see that.

You need to make a plan to leave this man I think, and also an emergency plan for if he gets more drunk or possibly violent e.g. being able to grab your bag, purse, phone and documents urgently from one place; I'd also make sure you take your phone around the house with you. However, if you or your child become unsafe in the moment, leave, even if it is without a thing.

category12 · 27/11/2022 15:47

He was abusive towards the OP before the termination - calling her names, undermining her, guilting her, being emotionally unavailable and not helping her when she was struggling post-natally. I doubt her illness would have been as severe without him.

He's just upped the ante since the termination.

rwalker · 27/11/2022 15:55

The recent incident probably has some bearing on loosing his dad
but tbh that’s irrelevant this is a pattern of behaviour

canyoutoleratethis · 27/11/2022 17:05

Herejustforthisone · 27/11/2022 13:14

Threads like this make me so thoroughly depressed. The sheer number of revolting cunts of men who walk this earth, doing unspeakably abusive things to women and children is horrifying.

It makes me want to build some sort of beautiful commune where women, children and animals can live free of this utter shit.

I would love to help you build this! Beautifully said, and very tragically true

billy1966 · 27/11/2022 17:52

This has nothing to do with your termination, it just gave him a reason to abuse you.

You are in a highly abusive relationship and you absolutely should call the police.

Camping out on your daughters bedroom floor through fear is the definition of a reason to call the police.

What awful parents you have to refuse you temporary help.
Dreadful.

You absolutely need to call Women's aid.

Your daughter is being emotionally abused by his terrorising you both.

You need to force a sale.

Stop allowing him to bully you.

I hope you are not sharing a bed with him.

Get all your paperwork together re the house and finances.

If you call the police about him and his abuse that will make you eligible for legal aid.
This would really help you going forward.

Please help yourself and ring the police.

Tell them he terrorises you and your daughter and get him removed from the house.

Keep your plans to yourself.

You owe this loser nothing.

SuffolkSun · 27/11/2022 20:51

It seems you're prompted to ask for advice, after 3yrs of this behaviour, because it's getting worse. And that's worrying. As others have said, this is abuse even if it's not physical. You are being harmed - as is, importantly, your daughter.

For the moment, be practical (put the emotions around your relationship with your partner somewhere to be processed when you have the time and strength to deal with them). Compile a list of dates, times, what was said and how you felt (particularly safety wise) as best you can from memory. Start keeping a diary from now on. Promise yourself you'll call the police the next time - or, if your list feels bad to you once you've written it, go and ask to speak with the station DV lead. Call Women's Aid, this week and tell them all. Start pulling together birth certificates and other ID, information about finances etc etc. Put this where you can get hold of it without problems - keep it, and the diary, at work? Start checking out your legal rights when separated (WA can help with this?) And you do have to separate, for now at least. Neither you nor your daughter can carry on living like this.

The onslaught of grief after the death of a parent brings out the worst in some people. So does heavy drinking - and there is a very clear link between heavy drinking and domestic violence, including psychological. You have the advantage of knowing the good as well as bad parts of your partner's personality. But the truth is, that "good" man has gone for the time being and won't come back, if at all, unless your partner acknowledges his behaviour and its causes and decides to get help.

Getting counselling together will only work after he's taken this first step for himself. And he may never do so. The threat of fighting for custody is just that. Good luck to him arguing in the Family Court that the best way to raise a small child is in the pub every night, followed by a session of drunken ranting to loud music. He doesn't want custody - he wants to scare and belittle you, because that's far easier than being honest about his drinking and appalling behaviour.

I was struck by your saying you have few/no local sources of help. But help can come from the most unlikely places, once you ask for it. Start with Women's Aid. Speak in confidence with your work HR department or a trusted colleague. See if there are local single parent groups you can talk to. And think about getting counselling for yourself, so that you are able to see your life from a different perspective, and so see more clearly how you want to change it and how best to do so.

I wish you the best of luck.

Zanatdy · 27/11/2022 20:52

This is disgusting behaviour - please contact women aid and get the hell away from this man

UniversalAunt · 28/11/2022 09:45

Do not have counselling with this very damaged & abusive man.

Any work he may do on his own behaviours is his alone to do, & will take some considerable commitment & time.

Do not consider or accept that joint relationship counselling will help or instigate his undertaking personal therapy.

BlueWalnut · 28/11/2022 09:49

Sending you best wishes and strength OP. 💐

Noodles4Me · 28/11/2022 10:29

Your poor daughter. Five years she’s lived in this abusive environment with no choice in the matter.

You need to step up for her OP, if you can’t do it for you. And don’t assume your friends won’t help you either.

Good luck 🍀

Pinkbonbon · 28/11/2022 14:11

Greenginghamdress · 27/11/2022 09:04

@NatalieIsFreezing just to clarify I've had 2 terminations in my life.
1 at barely 20
1 at 34
Different men.

Partner and have been together since I was 27, 10 years ago.
I told him in the early days about my first termination. He was nice to me about it until I had the termination with him at 35.
I'm not proud of either of them, but I had my reasons.
He thinks I'm a terrible person for what I did.

No he doesn't. He just wants you to THINK he thinks you are a terrible person. And fir you to feel like one.

So that you keep looking inwards and trying to change yourself. Instead of realising he is a piece of shit (and a particularly sadistic one at that).

8ll let you in on the big secret- he doesn't even care about the termination (You know this because he literally agreed too that it was the right move at the time). He just pretends to in order to use it as a stick to beat you with.

He's an abusive bastard and the sooner you get away the better.

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