I love my girlfriend very much, she brings joy, fun, excitement and happiness to mine and my children’s lives. She is a real free spirit whereas I’m more homely and stable. This has some challenges but overall we communicate well. We’ve been together 2.5 yrs, living together for last six months in a flat I was in before we met.
She has had two dogs since I met her. They’re cute and great with children. I like/liked them but now I’m struggling with them so much, I literally want them gone but I’ll lose her too.
The dogs are very badly behaved, jump up on us when we walk in a room, follow us everywhere even to the toilet, bark constantly (when my girlfriend hugs me they get angry), huff at us when we don’t give them food off our plates, sit there begging, bark loudly at everyone who comes to the door or even walks past, scream barking at other dogs when out and pull at the lead, don’t walk in a straight line etc. I could go on.
What’s far worse though is the lack of hygiene.
They eat my children’s sweets/chocolates and then vomit all over the house (I’ve been blamed for leaving the food out?!) I should clean the sick up and not mention it apparently. They piss all over my youngest’s bedroom, on his bed. They shit sometimes in the bathrooms. The small boy dog came back from a walk and wiped his arse on my pillows. I watched dumbfounded then changed the sheets, on a boil wash. Their hair gets everywhere, in our food and all over bedsheets. I don’t want them on them bed, and still they go on when I’m not there.
My girlfriend says this is part and parcel of living with dogs, and I should just get on with it as she cleans up after my kids. In fact I should stop mentioning it and quietly clean up, even me checking for a dogshit can cause a row. My kids can be badly behaved but in general are very good. They make a mess, but not unhygienic and I fully expect that I’m the person who tidies up after them, including me cleaning their toilet up. She occasionally cleans their toilet or does the washing up and throws this at me as ammunition when we argue about the dogs. The hair is enough to need hoovering every day, she has done it twice since moving in?
Yesterday the dog urinated in my son’s bedroom again, this was my fault as I was wfh and should have taken him out. I don’t want this responsibility. She said today she would leave them in the flat again all day as she’s working but I’m going out. I said she needs a plan as can’t keep leaving them alone all day. When I got back from my day I had to take them out, I don’t want this additional chore.
I really just want her to take total responsibility for the dogs. She wants to be able to leave them in the flat on their own and I take them out when I get back. I don’t know am I being unfair? She feels I’m making her uncomfortable. I’m so cross I can’t think straight. I don’t know if our relationship can survive this feels so fundamental.