Middle aged men and their fetishes

[whatswiththesefetishes]

So, I've been divorced for a number of years and have been on numerous dates. What I've noticed is that many men who have hit their 50's and are were in long marriages/relationships seem to be very open about their fetishes. I'm wondering if they have got to a certain age whereby, they feel they no longer want to suppress these feelings?

I'm met the following:
A man with a foot fetish
A man with a wee fetish
A man who likes cross dressing
A man how likes 'Daddydom' (I had to look that one up!)
A man who is obsessed by writing erotica
... and a lastly.... and man who wanted to be a wizard!!!

Is it wrong to just want someone who likes changing the oil on his car or who is happy to do the weekly shop?!!!!!

"...a myriad of foot-fancying, incontinent, merlin-esque perverts" 🤣🤣

I'm crying. Thank god I'm single and intending to stay that way.

I found a 50-something who isn't particularly interested in my feet, romper suits, urine, ladies clothing, but he didn't do OLD. He was shy and it took a while for us to get acquainted.

Describes my DH, probably describes me as well. Took over a year to have our first date and didn't kiss till our third (made up for it afterwards).
Several of our male friends are like this and simply gave up on finding a partner fairly early and settled down to hobbies and pets.
Several of dds friends (male and female) tried OLD and gave up saying bad. Both the men and women on it were strange.

All those things?! You think there a plenty of women out there with a fetish for men’s feet?! 🤣😂🤣

I do love a male expert on women.

I was talking generally about plenty of ladies having a wide range interests in fetish/kink. On feet specifically yes probably not many with a fetish for men's feet but there are some who enjoy their own being fetishised (is that a word?:)) or with an interest in the feet of other ladies.

I do not claim to be an expert on ladies or kink particularly but pretty clear I have more knowledge and experience on many of these things than most posting here. Very few seem to have any direct experience and think it's all a big joke.

First of all, learn what the word fetish means. It does not mean what you think it does. It is an overriding obsession, not just someone who fancies a bit of kinky sex sometimes.

Secondly. You said plenty of women were into all those things, so that would include having a fetish for men’s feet, which is such utter bullshit, I can’t even take it seriously. Watching a lot of porn does not make you an expert on women’s sexuality. We’re far less prone to having a fetish than men are.

Thirdly, what makes you think you have more knowledge and experience than most women here, when you don’t even understand what a fetish is? How do you know what women's experiences are here? Is it just because you assume all mums must be prudes and not have a sexuality of their own?

I think there is a huge difference between a woman being aroused by the control aspects of men wanting to wank on her feet or her shoes and submitting to whatever in order to do that, and a woman actually orgasming to the physical experience of having her feet licked and spunk ejaculated onto on her feet. In my experience, which isn't THAT limited, the people who are interested in spunk as a substance are male. Women are sometimes interested in what men will do or can be made to do in order to have the chance to produce it.

Does it not also explain why the OP was on OLD? Or is it the usual Mumsnet sexist one way street?

'Wizard' completely finished me off, I'm done for today

🧙‍♂️

I don’t think all the posters understand what a fetish is.
These guys are possibly single because their ex’s had enough of playing along with being a wizard or whatever the fetish is so that the bloke can get it up. A fetish can be so powerful it takes priority over the partner. It’s like their are three people in the relationship, 2 humans, I’m assuming a man and woman in these men’s case and the third person is the magician’s wand. When it comes to crunch time the person with the fetish (nearly always men) will choose the wand over his partner.

Porn doesnt give men fetishes but it does feed them.

Ugh, sadly finding a single man who isn't just plain gross and porn addled is extremely hard.

So tired of the pornification if our culture.and men pretrnding that women love it.
No the actresses paid to appear are forced by the industry yo pretend do they get paid.

Just horrible.

Is it possible that something in your OLD self description is attracting oddballs?

Maybe you need to rewrite it

"Greying menopausal woman with own womb, likes knitting and watching News at 6. "

I see the usual dissemblers are out in force!

Everyone has fetishes. They can be tame or extreme but who can judge? It is always a matter of perspective. Where it crosses a 'moral line' for me is when a fet is thrust onto someone who cannot give informed, positive consent. Such as that weirdo who got his jollies roaming the street at night dressed in a gimp suit. Having sex in a public space is OK but NOT where you can be observed. Using pros, viewing porn etc I find acceptable but NOT when you prefer porn to having a real-life partner in bed. Using pros when I am in a dynamic with someone will result in a hard exit for the door.

I ran two kink events in London. I have heard it all. And then some. What I don't do is judge anothers' kink. The acronym, YKINMKBTO (Your Kink Is Not My Kink But That's OK) UNLESS it is one of the paraphilias. Oh and I should add that I was with someone for 18 years who was very into feet. Rampant porn habit. So yes, I do know what I m talking about.

Everyone has fetishes.

Do they? If it's an overriding obsession, without which it's difficult to become aroused, I'm not sure I do. There are some things I prefer more than others, but they're preferences rather than something which must be there.

Oh dear DP is approaching 50 should I suddenly be expected to indulge him in these fetishes?

Everyone has fetishes
i think there’s a big difference between for example enjoying having sex with someone wearing stockings (or wearing them
yourself) compared sex having to involve stockings every time to get aroused.

This is why when DH dies I will NEVER date another man again

NEVER NEVER NEVER

No, everyone does not have fetishes and you have a very limited view of human sexuality if you think that.

OP PLEEEESSEEEEE tell us about the wannabe wizard.

Why am I seeing adverts for a Harry Potter 50 pence piece?😀

Why are ”kinksters” and ”fetisist” so often so rude, use name calling and condescending?
I thought your kind were supposed to be really careful with consent and safe and safe or something.
But you never actually give any evidence of that….

Yep, that’s about right.

I don’t think they think about how weird it sounds when they offer to get out the bucket of soapy frogs and the stirrup pump.

They find something that rings a little bell in their libido then six months later they find themselves in some weird corner of the internet having convinced themselves that everyone is into what they’re into without ever having come across any one else in their real life who does want to get out the lard, leather belt and book of crossword puzzles.

I had one who wanted me to wear his wife's tights and another who has his exes sex toys eew no thanks