Found a credit card statement

[Anxiousmuch]

I just found a scrunched up credit card statement. Its in my partners name and I knew nothing about it. It has a 3500 balance transfer on it and his interest is £60 a month because hes only made minimum payments
He never used to have a credit card and has never told me he took one out.
We've been together twelve years and have two kids and split all household costs bc we both work
I'm furious. Firstly because hes kept it secret, second because I have some savings and could pay this off and third because when we remortgage i fear this will affect us
How would you deal with the hiding of information? I don't know how to bring this up and deal with it
Would you leave someone's for the dishonesty?

Shopping habit and credit card debt says to me that maybe you can't manage your money very well.
Perhaps that's what they're issue is here.
I have a different idea to my partner about what's appropriate spending (would prefer to live within means without debt) unless its an essential big purchase

I had a secret credit card because my husband was a controlling penny pinching miser. He'd have gone batshit if he'd found out, yet expected me to pay for more than him and more than I could afford.

Maybe he managed his finances badly and is playing catch up now . Definitely get a 0% transfer so he's not paying interest. Ask him for the details, and try nit to go in all gubs blazing - you're more likely to get a genuine response if you can discuss sensibly.

I'm not sure why people are being knobs on this thread!! You share kids and you share finances and have a joint mortgage! You've been massively betrayed and have a right to be raging.

Thanks :)

Shopping habit and credit card debt says to me that maybe you can't manage your money very well

Perhaps the poster made a large purchase on it for the section 75 protection. I'm sure she appreciates your unsolicited criticism about her spending habits and ability to manage her money, though. Perhaps worth a thought that getting snarky critical comments like that may be why your DP didn't tell you about his debt.

I had a joint mortgage with my Ex and we both had tiny amounts of debt on credit cards, (and separate finances,) for old purchases which is all this is, I had quizzed her about what the debt was I would have been told to take a running jump, which is the correct answer, as finances are private and a couple of k on credit card will make almost 0 difference on the products offered.

I know how you feel OP this happened to me. I found a new credit card, with zero balance and when I confronted him about it, it turned out he had £3k of debt on store cards and was consolidating onto a 0% card.

He was so angry and defensive, screaming and shouting about how I was being nosey and it's none of my business.

I felt so betrayed, it was the lying. When we discussed finances he told me he was debt free. We had a mortgage and I was scared it would affect our re-mortgage.

I think if you're sharing something like a mortgage you need to open about your finances.

I ended up paying it off with promises and assurances it wouldn't happen again.

Yep ^^ don’t go for knee jerk reaction, find out what is really going on, you said he has a different attitude to debt to you, but certainly get shifted to 0% credit card asap.

I wouldn't use my savings to pay off husbands debts. Get him to pay it off himself and that will teach him a lesson!

It is your business if you have a mortgage together.

Exactly.

I'd be concerned about this and would want some answers. Does he drink a lot or have some expensive hobby?

More alarming is you've been together 12 years and he has no savings! Why?

Savings? We scraped together a £35k deposit (in the south) without any family contribution whilst renting privately
And once we purchased a home we have had two little ones who we pay childcare costs for (over £1200 a month). I think our finances will be much more manageable when youngest gets his 30hrs.

I guess we have the classic millennial story of wanting a family and a home on pretty average earnings

I wouldn't expect him to have savings atm
Personally I do, because I want some contingency
I do expect that him to tell me he has debt and to tell me what the debt is for

Its that I had to find out by finding the statement he must have dropped

And it makes me wonder if there's anymore

Op I've been there and approaching him with an open mind/ heart In a non judgemental way is the best way to deal with this.
-You could be over reacting
-You could have cause for concern but going ballistic will make him sneak around even more

Once you have the facts and he's comfortable to be honest with you, you can make a decision if it's something you're willing to put up with.

Thanks - sound advice
I'll prob leave it a couple of days before I confront him because I currently feel a mixture of anger and hurt that he wouldn't tell me
It's hard because he's a great dad but we only get one life and I don't want to waste mine with a liar

Put the receipt in front of him and say "what the fuck is this,?"

You may have found the very reason here, sounds like things are tight, could he be delaying the payment of bigger bills until money is more sorted

If he doesn't pay the card off (which he isn't at the moment) then it will affect me when we remortgage.

Not quite true.

He's meeting the minimum payments without defaulting, so he's the kind of person that creditors like.

Has he denied having credit cards before? I don't think it's something to be called a liar over unless he's actually lying to you!
Just ask him about it, offer to get it paid and just say that the next time just tell you. But get a plan in place to add more.
Flying off the handle about it will not help.
He's an idiot for paying £60 interest on it every month if you've got decent enough credit - he should be able to shift the balance to a 0% and pay it off that way if you want to get a bit more saved before you remortgage (or overpay)
Honestly OP don't fly off the handle. Money arguments are awful and I've overspent before and tried to hide it just from fear of disappointing my OH (I know I know - don't do it any more).

He's meeting the minimum payments without defaulting, so he's the kind of person that creditors like.

Not mortgage providers.

I wouldn't end a relationship over this, but if you think it's unacceptable, that's up to you to decide.

I've taken out credit cards and so has my husband. Neither of us seeks permission from the other. As a grown up fully functioning adult, I don't need to tell him and vice versa...I was done asking permission when I left my parent's house.

3½k is hardly megabucks of debt ...but I guess it's all relative.

@SandyY2K

Do you have a mortgage together?

I’m sorry but that’s just rubbish, there are so many factors that go in getting an offer, most lenders use credit scoring agencies as part of the decision engine, as well as income, outgoings & debt’s, age, term etc to come up with an affordability decision, a few grand on a credit card that has had regular payments will make almost no difference, it’s almost better than someone who has never had any debt, as they will have no repayment history to base a score on

We'd take this pretty seriously in our marriage - the problem would be made significantly worse if you were to discover what he has used the money for and it was for drugs, sex or gambling - that would be my worst worry. Why hide it unless is really was something he definitely didn't want you to know about? Hope he comes clean and it's nothing too gut wrenching.

I’m sorry but that’s just rubbish, there are so many factors that go in getting an offer, most lenders use credit scoring agencies as part of the decision engine, as well as income, outgoings & debt’s, age, term etc to come up with an affordability decision, a few grand on a credit card that has had regular payments will make almost no difference, it’s almost better than someone who has never had any debt, as they will have no repayment history to base a score on

It's not rubbish. I was responding to the idea that this would count in his favour. It won't. It may not be detrimental but it certainly won't be a positive factor. You are not wrong that having regular payments towards debt is better then having no history at all, but the idea that paying minimum payments towards a debt of a few thousand will be looked upon favourably is nonsense.