Straightforward, drama free abortion

[FineMom]

I know everyone’s different and possibly some women get upset by having an abortion. But my experience when I was in my early 20s was really fine. My partner was supportive. The whole thing was relatively free, it was also guilt free and stress free. I told my mother she was fine too and came to stay with me. There was no drama or doubt just a sense of relief that
I had access to this safe health care service.

I love the Archers and I know they need a story line but, AIBU to feel they have massively over milked this subject.
I remember when Lizzie Archer had one a few years ago and they treated the issue far more in line with my experience.

@Birdie002 - please leave this thread. You are unwelcome and unkind. And sick. Go and look after your baby.

Unkind and sick lol big words for someone dismissing another woman's experience. calling me unkind and sick because I don't have the same views as you. Make it make sense 🫠

I didn't feel mine was "sensitive", I was 21 and was just relieved. I'm 54 now, no kids, never wanted any, never regretted it, don't think I'm going to suddenly start regretting it.

You say the majority of women have problems and you've done research. So, post the links and details. Because it's certainly not what I've read anywhere.

To be fair to both of you @Birdie002 and @Clymene in the gentlest way possible, I think it's just as unfair to be pushing your own trauma of loss on others who've clearly had the same experience but processed it differently, as it is to completely dismiss someone's attachment to a pregnancy they lost. I don't think either one of you is coming out looking good here and there's a better way to have this debate without harming each other. Because this has clearly been harmful to you both and probably other women reading as well.

Agreed. I genuinely think that the whole thing is devastating. I do respect the fact there are women who don't want kids and that's totally fine but there are also women as you rightfully mention who had have an attachment and it's not right in my eyes to dismiss and downplay it. Not everyone is going to agree with each other. I am allowed to express my feelings just as much others without people getting nasty because they feel a certain way. Anyhoo that's life, agree to disagree.

Yes but equally you are in a thread talking to other women who have had terminations who haven't regretted it so you can surely see why you commenting the way that you have could be hurtful and triggering to them as it does come across like you think they should regret it when that might be your truth but that's not for them to take on board as their truth is different. That's why you're getting such a strong reaction from others.

Being pro-life would regardless get me those "strong reactions". I don't feel I said anything to attack anyone as that was not my genuine intention. If you don't regret your abortion, ok. However, don't also disrespect those who have wanted their babies just because you didn't want yours. Sorry if that sounds so blunt but if we're going to be "respectful" of each other's views then don't downplay or be nasty if someone is sharing an actual experience. I don't hate any women but I do hate the act of abortion because IN MY OPINION it is devastating. I don't need to educate anyone on anything because there are videos and links all over the internet.

It is late and I will swiftly take myself out now but best of luck to you all :)

Where's the disrespect for women who did want their babies?

Agree about the Archers massively over milking it , almost put me off listening

I was pregnant for a few weeks a couple of years ago and I felt a connection and as if there was a baby there while knowing that there wasn’t.

Women will feel differently to each other and no one benefits from being harangued about what is basically a religious belief or a feeling. ‘it’s a baby/life’, is how you feel. It was how I felt but feelings are not medical facts.

It was my clump of cells and I loved it but I didn’t and don’t want to be a parent. A very confusing and conflicted experience but I have no regrets.

You are absolutely allowed to state your feelings and opinions. Whatosnt okos stating them as facts which you have done more than once. People have and will obviously continue correct you when you do this.

I had an abortion when I was young (late teens/early 20s) and have accompanied friends to their appointments to discuss that option. Always educated very clearly what it would involve which to put it simply was taking 2 tablets a day apart then having a heavy period.

The problem is that you are allowed to feel any way you like about your own body. Telling OTHER women that they should feel devastated, sad, whatever is the issue. And telling women abortions are unsafe is both inaccurate and harmful. Legal abortion is about the most safe procedure you can have. More people die from cosmetic procedures, dental work and similar.

The rate of any complications for early weeks abortions is about a 1/10 of a percentage point. If I did my maths right, that's about the rate of maternal MORTALITY not complications, mortality. Childbirth is unsafe. Abortion (legal abortion) isn't. The most dangerous of all is unsafe illegal abortion, causing the deaths of tens of thousands of women globally each year.

Whatever you think about your own body, illegality in abortion doesn't stop them and does kill women. Unless you hate women, why would you think that was a good idea?

I went to the BodyWorlds exhibition. The one where real life bodies are cut open and plastinated. They had a screened-off section for babies. Having seen a 3 & 5 week old fetus, I can tell you they are very much a real baby, even at that super early stage. Do not delude yourself that they are not. That said, I support a woman's choice. It's a horrible position to be in.

It took Chelsea a long time to come to her decision but it appears she feels she made the right one and is happy with it. Everyone is different and it seems weird that you think that every dramatisation of an event should be exactly like your own experience, especially when you admit that an earlier dramatisation in the same series was more in line with your experience, isn’t that balance?

Personally I think it was handled well and Chelsea’s mum is an absolute star. Vince however, needs to be taken down, how dare he ‘out’ Chelsea like that. Elizabeth needs to pick a damn side!

They aren't foetuses until they are 10 weeks. They are embryos before then. At 3 weeks, it's the size of a speck. At 5 weeks, its 2mm long.

If your arguments had any merit, you wouldn't have to resort to lies and misinformation

This sound very interesting. Where is this exhibition ?

You could literally show them the body, and people will still try to shut you down and try to convince you it's a clump of cells. I 100% believe you because I heard my baby's heart beat VERY early on on at a time where people claim it's just a clump of cells.

I got pregnant at 20, despite the pill and condoms. We discussed it and both thought abortion was right.
I had to go for a scan to determine how far along I was before the abortion was done. The scanner asked if I wanted to see the image on the screen, I said no.
I went in to have the procedure done, and I was home that day. It was a relief, there were a few tears when we decided what to do but nothing after. I have never regretted it, it’s not shameful. I agree OP, TV builds it up massively but then, TV builds everything up.

@Jippers I hope there weren’t signs saying 3week old or 5 week old foetus as they would be factually incorrect. A foetus is 8+ weeks.

"If you feel a certain way from my message then maybe that's just your underlying conscience. I am not here to attack you on your life decisions."

These two statements are contradictory.

At a population level, the vast majority of women do not regret their abortions. That is a matter of fact, based on research. This doesn't mean that at an individual level regret doesn't happen. However, it is disingenuous to say that abortion will always be emotionally devastating, and that is a tactic the forced birthers do so like to use.

A 3 week embryo does not look like a baby. That is a lie. Forced birthers do also like to lie.

Birdie002, I'm not entirely sure you're qualified to comment on how women should view their abortions given you've never had one.

Until pretty recently women have been guilted about having or even wanting an abortion, mostly by religion. It's ramping up in the US again now.

A woman should have a free choice, uncomplicated by how anyone else perceived the procedure.

Despite what some would have you believe, not every baby is a blessing.

I wish we could say that it is a human life from conception, and at the same time say it can be a socially desirable action.

We make the same calculation for euthanasia.

But say it out loud and ppl think you are a monster, but I prefer not to sugarcoat things ( eg a friend literally believes her aborted baby’s soul is in her first child. I get to that it’s a coping method but such magical thinking annoys me still)

I am bothered by the fact there are girls out there who genuinely don't know and are given downplayed information that oh it's just pill like taking a paracetamol.

What evidence do you have that this happens?

Until pretty recently women have been guilted about having or even wanting an abortion, mostly by religion. It's ramping up in the US again now

Not true. Several referendums protecting abortion access have passed in the US midterms. Please don’t revert to lazy stereotyping