My dad is becoming a dad again at 70

[viennisewhirl]

For what it's worth, I'm not one to judge other people's relationships and you love who you love, ok. My husband is 14 years older than myself and I know how it feels for people to comment and judge that. But I just can't wrap my head around this, he's still married to my mum. They've not gone on for as long as I can remember, but they stayed married and living together (albeit very separately in a big house). Mum is just upset because she wanted it to stay that way and doesn't want to start again by herself in old age but says she has no feeling towards him being with other people despite that.
It's just all so weird! The woman he has gotten pregnant is 45 and apparently it was a big shock at her age as she didn't think she could have kids but she wants to have the baby and he wants to 'do the right thing' and be with her (funnily enough the exact same reason he married my mum!)

Not entirely sure how to process this whole thing? Has anyone had this? It's just surreal to be honest. I'm a few weeks off having my second child so he's going to have a baby younger than this grandchild.

OP would you like to meet your nee half sibling when he or she is born?

I was thinking that.

So basically he's a dick who tried to feed everyone the Bullshit of "living separately" with his wife while leading her on and then fucked someone else and got them pregnant? I'd be cutting him off.

Focus on your mum.

Ignore him and his mistress.

I don't think you owe anyone a relationship in this scenario (including the new child), apart from supporting your mum. What a horrible shock for you.

Happened to me as well. Dad was 65 when he had my half brother, who is just over a year old now, he has a mistress that is only a year older than me.

As soon as my half brother was born, inheritance changed, majority would go to his son. I used to be an only child as well. It feels so weird that all changed overnight, my dad’s love to me was gone after he was born.

I have seen pictures of my half brother, it’s not his fault but I don’t really want any relationship with him either.

wow that's a lot to take in!! Your poor mum.

Dear God..

Given they weren't using birth control you'd assume she wanted to get pregnant (it's not like getting pregnant at 45 is unheard of) - but your Dad presumably knew it was a possibility also.

Give yourself time to process it all. It's not ideal, but life isn't..

That's still not her problem. Or your friends brother problem. They do e have to cater. I'd never meet them either.

Don't blame you one bit. Must feel awful. I'm sorry your dad is a dick.

Omg what a mess. I'd be upset OP.
Is he sure the baby is his? There's no fool like an old fool is there?

When I was pregnant with my eldest DD, my dad rang me on my 25th birthday to say he was in a fertility clinic in Turkey having his vasectomy reversed . The thought of my child having an aunt/uncle who was younger than mine was like an episode of Jeremy Kyle, I couldn't get my head around his thought process. But, his wife was slightly older than me and had no kids, so presumably she wanted one of her own. Whilst it was sad that every pregnancy ended up in miscarriage (I think they had 7 IVF rounds after my dads failed vasectomy) and they eventually divorced, I'm secretly glad it never happened, so totally get where you're coming from OP.

My dad was 72 when he became a dad again.
He's pretty much had a child every decade

You learn to live with it ! 😂

Not quite been in your situation but almost! My dad has form for much younger women - current gf is 35 years younger than him I think. Fine,fair enough but when he told me they were trying for a baby I felt similar to you. Thankfully it hasn't happened (yet!!) but I do kind of know how you're feeling!

Stupid old arse!

Stupid old arse!

This also crossed my mind ...

Are we sure it's his? I would not expect men in their 70s to still have many viable swimmers

@Xgle
Yup same here! All his money to the new kid, although after all those years in a care home doubt there is much left.

I never think about the kid. I call them my dad's kid not my half sibling, when I (very rarely) mention them.

I bear them no malice, they didn't ask to have the same dad but genuinely don't want to meet them. My dad had to keep working almost right until he went into the care home. Stupid old git!

My dad's wife was about 20 years younger than me 🙄

As a child to much older parents, I feel shockingly sorry for the poor child. I lost my Dad when I was young and the vast age difference between my mum & I causes untold issues.

I cannot imagine how odd you must feel, @viennisewhirl

@RandomMusings7 I think David Jason & Rod Stewart fathered children in their 70s

What an absolutely awful thread.

I have two uncles who are younger than me. It's been brilliant.

When we were children, we used to spend many weekends and holidays together, my mum's step mum and my gf (who is only a few years older than her) babysat us on a regular basis (my mum was a sp) and we loved her to bits.

I used to love introducing my youngest uncle as 'my uncle' and watch the expressions of shock. People often used to correct me and say 'you mean your cousin'. 6yo me loved the reactions when I spelled out that he was my mother's brother.

As adults we remain on a very friendly basis.

You could be missing out on a lovely playmate for your children because of your reaction.

Is this her first baby? I don't think I'd be willing to have a child at 45 with a 70 year old (with baggage), but maybe if she feels this is her last chance...? It seems a strange decision, all things considered. I think your mum needs to sort things out properly now, these half-arsed separations always lead to someone feeling/being f**ked over.

He's 19 years younger than Bernie Eccleston, who had a child at 89.
These ages are just too old though...I'm sorry for you having this news.

Support your mum in initiating divorce proceedings. She deserves much better than having to live with your cheating scum bag of a Dad.