Can men sense attraction

[girl71]

Just wanted to ask if attraction can be sensed? When two people are together and talking but not yet involved, is there an underlying something? I personally think it can .

How attuned actually are men to vibes from women? Women ( me) are generally intuitive but do men actually pick up how the woman feels when in early talking stages? Can men sense that a woman likes them. Is it that they do know and reciprocate in vibe kind and, that gives you the butterflies feeling and separates them from all other men in your mind .

@5128gap as i said, i do not want a relationship. I am not curious, this is not my future. This is a period and chapter in my life.

You understand you can still keep your finances separate and all these advantages you state with good looking single men.

I get it, you havn't got the atributes to get the good sex you want for yourself and the self respect that runs concurantly with many honest relationships.

A fair exchange in your eyes, personally I would expect more for myself, I suppose morals, accountability and responsiblity do mean something to some people and not to others. I wouldn't be happy sacificing my integrity for men, but you teach your kids the way you want, I'm sure they won't judge you.

I've brought my children up to not hurt others intentionally, but yes I can see you are selfish, well done for voicing your uncaring opinions are you wanting a medal?

This is my experience. Most men don't do subtle flirting. You have to be pretty damned direct about it.

I met my DH online. I asked him out. That worked.

"@5128gap I'd be curious as to the extenuating circumstances that made him an exception".

No extenuating circs, i am just very attracted to him. I did not invite this. I am
single, i want him, i can sleep with him so i will.

"@ViolinPin I get it, you havn't got the atributes to get the good sex you want for yourself and the self respect that runs concurantly with many honest relationships".

You have clearly been hurt. I am very confident in myself and have all the attributes needed . I hope you heal.

No extenuating circs, i am just very attracted to him. I did not invite this. I am
single, i want him, i can sleep with him so i will

Pretty selfish concerning your children though isn't it?

I mean the choices you make could make you vunerable to attack or retribution, make those choices for yourself, but what about the kids.

You just never know in life if the next chapter or situation could be a danagerous one, but at least you can minimise the chances.

I'd never forgive myself if I put my children in harms way especially if I'd made an active choice to make selfish choices, endangering my family.

You must not give a shit about them.

I'm pretty confident, that confident in fact that I don't need to hurt others.

Never did, never will.

"@ViolinPin Pretty selfish concerning your children though isn't it?"

My children are grown up. One already moved out 3 yrs ago. Nothing selfish about what i have put aside for my self, while my children were growing up . No one ever stayed overnight while my children here .

@ViolinPin you do not need to attack me, in order to restore equilibrium into your own life. It is not my fault you have been hurt.

You think retribution ends there ?

The fact your children are older and you never had men sleep over.

I think you are niave and are relying on the human nature that you yourself do not adhere to.

Why would you think or hope that morality, accountability and empathy will apply to you and your children when you yourself have metered out a lack of mercy yourself.

Mercilessness can work both ways.
You yourself know how heartless humans can be, what if his wife has similar traits to you.

A willingness to act without empathy and mercy.
She could be the one.

I'm not attacking you or harming you to restore anything, neither do I think me calling a spade a spade, (just as you do) will alter any thoughts I have on the subject of causing pain against others.

I am not intending to cause you pain, you clearly are a forthright person, I am clearly adapting my conversational style to fit with yours , so that may understand better, you must understand it's difficult debating with someone who does not have a concience.
You do realise this don't you, you do not have a concience ?

Thanks though for your faux regards to my hurt, I'm pretty sure you have not the capabilty of understanding pain to anyone but yourself and that includes your children.

Poor kids.

"@ViolinPin I'm pretty sure you have not the capabilty of understanding pain to anyone but yourself and that includes your children.

Poor kids".

My kids are grown adults, they are fine, happy, healthy and successful. I am fine, pain free and happy too. Good luck with your healing @ViolinPin, sincerely.

I personally think this is all bullshit and there is no other mm.

Have you been hurt by a man's choices and projected that onto betrayed wives, it somehow being their fault for rejection.

Your primary concern seems to be to insult faithful people, it seems a strange pre occupation of an evening, wouldn't you be better having another check of how many mortgage payments you have left, or advancing your earning potential rather than arguing your right to have a lack of morality.

Seems a waste of time to me, I on the other hand am older, am semi retired and have more time, I also have children that I have tried to live an open and honest life with, we have no secrets.

In fact I,ve spent my life placing their future at the forefront of my life, as you clearly have concerning the financials at least.
So what, you say, but I managed to do this by not hurting others and using someone elses husband as a crutch just so someone would not be able to touch their inheritance.

Some divorced women end up with some seriously damaged values.

You made assumptions about me, why ?

Am I allowed to make asumptions about you?

Are you one of those poor women that broke up from their husbands on the proviso that a married lover left his wife and didn't do so ?

Has this created your hate and contempt of married women to the point you feel no remorse for hurting them. I'm seriously trying to understand where this fracture of thinking came from.
Maybe you would benefit from councelling to understand your own equilibrium and place in the world.

Wow. Handbags.

"@ViolinPin Are you one of those poor women that broke up from their husbands on the proviso that a married lover left his wife and didn't do so ?"

No, i left my husband because he was a selfish lazy prick. Never been involved with a married man ever, until now.

Suggest you start your own thread to vent your vitriol and stop hi jacking mine.

In answer to your original post, I don’t know but I’m curious too. My child has sen and I’ve had to have regular meetings with the male sen co-ordinator at school. I’m married and so is he so obviously wouldn’t act on anything but omg he gives me the flutters. He has gorgeous kind eyes and such a kind personality and twinkling smile,
I can feel myself burning up around him. There seems to be such electricity in the room when I’m with him but I often wonder if it’s purely in my head and he has noticed nothing and I’m just another mum. Do heterosexual men look at women in that way even those who are unavailable or not particularly attractive? Even just for a second? I’d hate to think I was being a complete idiot 😂.

Wouldn't mind a casual thing myself at the moment. Wouldn't entertain anyone married though. You might think it sounds ideal, and you'd get sex when you want it, but reality is, there's going to be a lot of no-shows on his part as he's busy with his DW & DC. Changing arrangements, letting you down often, doesn't sound like fun. He might give you an hour or so notice for a booty call now &then - so really, it will all end up at his convenience not yours, it has to. You think you have the power? You'll just be handing him the reigns.

"@Margot78 There seems to be such electricity in the room when I’m with him but I often wonder if it’s purely in my head and he has noticed nothing and I’m just another mum. Do heterosexual men look at women in that way even those who are unavailable or not particularly attractive? Even just for a second?"

Op, i work in a sch/s and sometimes yes, we do ( including married colleagues) find some parents attractive. We also find some of our colleagues attractive. Would he overstep boundaries, very very unlikely for many reasons but, chemistry is a powerful thing and does not mean it is not there.

Do hetro men look at women in that way? Yes, they do. May not be about what you think is attractive, more chemistry again or both. Everyone has something that turns them on or they connect with. I was part of a conversation today with 2 married male colleague's around a potential scenario for a colleague. Won't go into detail as would be outing but, i was left in no doubt where their hetro mens minds are at.

not just men, you normally get a sense if someone is flirting with you. Though the ex e colleague I’m going on date 2 with next week is a bit flirt so although I felt there was some spark, I didn’t know if he was like that with everyone. Maybe he is. But generally you can tell if someone is interested in you, those little signs etc

For me he’s not flirting at all, he’s just been kind and supportive so it’s very hard to tell. I’m
probably totally projecting because he’s probably the only person who gets my problems and makes me feel more optimistic but I would love just to know if anything has ever crossed his mind! Just for my own vanity and fantasy world!

For me,.It's where the lady leads the conversation to, if it's just vanilla conversation, then it's what it is, if however she starts asking about your preferences in a lady, dating habits, history of various activities ect then you know something is afoot.

A lady friend usually shuts down any saucy conversations when she's with the group of lads.

and although I've not confirmed any suspicions, from the odd bits here and there, I suspect she's quite the nymph, but I presume she prefers all professional conversion unless she's already dating the person.

"@Margot78 I would love just to know if anything has ever crossed his mind! Just for my own vanity and fantasy world!"

Frustratingly you may never know.