Can men sense attraction

[girl71]

Just wanted to ask if attraction can be sensed? When two people are together and talking but not yet involved, is there an underlying something? I personally think it can .

How attuned actually are men to vibes from women? Women ( me) are generally intuitive but do men actually pick up how the woman feels when in early talking stages? Can men sense that a woman likes them. Is it that they do know and reciprocate in vibe kind and, that gives you the butterflies feeling and separates them from all other men in your mind .

and the other lot wouldn't notice a woman who fancies them if she beat him over the head with a placard saying 'I fancy you, you idiot'.

My husband falls into that camp. He did get the message… eventually.

Agree with others!

I’ve met quite a few men who do not seem to understand that you can be friendly towards and friends with someone of the opposite sex.

A colleague I got on well with very gently explained to me that he was already spoken for (head tilt) but he thought I was ‘a really nice person’.

I was so confused. I was not attracted to him in the slightest but he was fun and a decent bloke.

I realised that he was actually trying to let me down gently - WTF!
I think I just laughed and said something along the lines of ‘you are joking aren’t you? You’d be lucky!’ It was awful.
He avoided me after that. Idiot.

I have spent this half term week forgetting about him, protecting myself. I don't know. I just don't know.

Total horseshit

You don't need to know. If someone is interested in you, they'll tell you. Whether it's for friendship, a relationship, business interest, anything. STOP DEDUCING. No healthy relationship will need you to deduce anything, so even if you manage to deduce that he does find you attractive, the fact that you've had to deduce it rather than him making it clear rules out a relationship.

Life isn't a puzzle to be solved. Be an adult: if you want something/someone, communicate it to them, and have enough self esteem that if they say no, it won't screw your world up.

What are you protecting yourself from?

@Watchkeys "What are you protecting yourself from?"

Heartache.

But why do you need to protect yourself from it? It's not attacking you. You fancy a bloke. That's the top and bottom of your story. There are no further elements to it. It's not like you're scared of committing in a relationship in case you get hurt, or scared of leaving someone in case you make the wrong decision. You literally just fancy a bloke.

If you can't handle this, you won't be able to handle the emotions that actually come when you have a relationship with someone, so it all becomes moot. You need to work out why this is bothering you so much, rather than trying to work out someone else's feelings. Work out your own.

I would have been mortified.

Did you not cotton on seeing as you were friends/colleagues that he had certain boundaries, boundaries cover many areas, types of conversation, types of fun, banter as many call it, personal space boundries, etc etc.

I've never had this, unless he was an exceptionally guarded man who kept people at a distance, but you say not, you say he was fun.

What a spectacular misunderstanding on both your parts 😲

I used to think this was bunkum until the night I met DH, decades ago. We knew, others commented the space between us was electric that night. We were both with others that night. Two and a half months later we had our first date having first and possibly subconsciously divested ourselves of others. One serious, one a fling.

We were rarely apart after the second date. We have been married for nearly 32 years.

When you know, you know.

When you know, you know

Yes. Rather than 'When you know, you're confused and feel messed up'.

@ViolinPin
I wasn’t at all mortified!
The ‘misunderstanding’ was all his!

I behaved exactly the same with him as I did with everyone else. Laughed and chatted casually just as I would do with any close colleague.

It was quite a mixed sex group at the time and he was definitely a man’s man.

I think he genuinely thought that if a woman (innocently) paid him any kind of attention - even just chatting to him - they must be attracted to him.

Arrogant or very stupid. Not sure which tbh.

@ViolinPin
Did you not cotton on seeing as you were friends/colleagues that he had certain boundaries, boundaries cover many areas, types of conversation, types of fun, banter as many call it, personal space boundries, etc etc.

Not sure where you get the idea that I crossed boundaries! I am the least flirtatious person you could meet!
No touching, no hugging (not even female friends) no ‘cheeky banter’ from me.

He clearly thought he was irresistable to women, I would have played along for a bit citing your utter disapointment and regret that you were rejected 😂

Maybe some men are deluded, I supose at least he was a faithful deluded idiot.

He's married! I am out!

We work together , see each other daily. How do i navigate this now to keep relations civil and work relevant. I am not going to be a dirty one/many night. . How do i turn this around back to professionalism? I love my job and not leaving.

Be professional.

Have you only just realised he's married???

@flipitgood yes, because he only just referred "my wife" today. I knew he had a child , no mention of wife.

Goodness, imagine him having a wife, if he has a child.

Not something people often ask about when someones talking about children 🤔

Mind you, probably not a question you wanted to ask, were you hoping he would never bring it up voluntarily ?

Drat, he acknowleged his wife exists.

@ViolinPin i will, this be hard. I really really liked him . He was so very attentive today. He is so very gorgeous. Then " the wife in private conversation" . Never mentioned her name before, just "my wife" today. He is telling me he is married isn't he but we can still do shiz?

A dear (married for 25 yrs ) friend has told me to do what's makes me happy, no judgement, if he is married or not. I am very confused now. I would never want to break a marriage, i am happy on my own but i do like him. To know my friends wont judge me and still be my friends . I do not want a full on relationship, he knows this, i do not want to split a marriage, or separate a Dad from their children, so this casual attraction / no strings sex may suit me well?

I never thought i would find myself in this position.

@ViolinPin Goodness, imagine him having a wife, if he has a child.

I have 2 children and an ex husband . Having children does not necessarily follow that you have a spouse.

Just because YOU don’t feel that way doesn’t mean my experience as well as countless others aren’t valid.

You seem to be taking a broad statement super personally which says A LOT about you.

fact is men take women’s kindness and friendliness as a whole very much as a co e on… less of us just being socialized to be nice or worse, when we are nice because we are afraid of what would happen should we not be.

But keep on telling me how I’m wrong because (thank goodness) a man is here to show me how wrong I am.

kick rocks.., women have to deal with this daily. If you REALLY are one of the good ones then you’d see it’s not about saying I’m wrong but how YOU are different… I doubt you are

THANK YOU!

I have to travel for work and replied once I came back to him but nice you feel the same way. My goodness!

They really can’t be bothered with anything but their own agenda.

I get this as well.

i work in a male dominated field. This man though I was somehow interested (asked me to him room while at a work meeting) because I stood around with everyone else being friendly.

Not sure what he thought I did? I wasn’t anything more but professional and friendly. I certainly wouldn’t ever want to … ewww

But golly gee did he think he was wanted.

There is a thing where women rate their looks lower than how their rates while men rate their attractiveness far higher than their actual score.

anyway OP @girl71 you are smart to stay away from these married men. You’ll be nothing but an ego boost and it’s really a waste of your time. These types will get their ego boost from paying sex workers… such is their fragility. It’s gross and I feel bad for anyone who deals with them.