Can men sense attraction

[girl71]

Just wanted to ask if attraction can be sensed? When two people are together and talking but not yet involved, is there an underlying something? I personally think it can .

How attuned actually are men to vibes from women? Women ( me) are generally intuitive but do men actually pick up how the woman feels when in early talking stages? Can men sense that a woman likes them. Is it that they do know and reciprocate in vibe kind and, that gives you the butterflies feeling and separates them from all other men in your mind .

Not necessarily, no. Attraction does not have to be mutual, it can be one-sided.

Men and women can also sense desperation.

As pp said attraction does not have to be mutual, but attraction is only the starting point between couples.

Of course a man can sense your enthusiasm for them if you lay it on thick enough.

I think it depends on the individual. It’s not a male/female thing necessarily. I’m neurodiverse (ADHD/Autism) and I’m terrible at picking up cues that someone likes me. I’ve been single for a while, started dating a couple of months ago…I’ve really struggled to know if the men I’m dating are keen. Last one I dated, I fancied him so as the date ended I just said “Goodbye kiss?” and he responded with an amazing kiss. I was thinking Oh he does like me! 😂 I also had a male friend declare his feelings for recently, said he’s liked me for a long time! I had no idea he liked me like that. I’d never thought of him like that..so it’s not just about mutual attraction because he never got any messages from me beyond being friendly.
Sometimes there’s feelings on one side that the other is ignorant of, sometimes it’s mutual. It can be flattering to be told (or even hinted at) that someone is interested in you..equally if you really aren’t attracted to them, hints that they like you make you pull 😬 this face! So yeah, there might be something between you and this guy…but you might just be flattered by the attention!

Men feel that women are attracted to them when they are just being nice. Men see attraction everywhere, even when it does not exist.

Yes, I'm sure they can. But more commonly, a lot will just chance their arm regardless of whether you are attracted to them. Or think that they can somehow make you attracted by their actions.

That’s bollocks. I don’t think women are attracted to me because they’re being nice, I just think they’re being nice!

When I was single I could sometimes tell if a woman was attracted to me by her body language. I’ve been happily married for 14 years now though, and thinking about it I’ve not been aware of anyone being attracted to me during that time (apart from my wife fortunately!).

so, I guess either I’ve not met anyone else who has been attracted to me since I got married, or if I have I guess I’ve been oblivious to it.

Your experience as one man does not negate my experience of multiple men over many years.
As for wanting to believe it, why on earth would I? Women's lives would be better in general if men did try and get a sense of whether there was interest before making a move. Sadly, too many don't, as any woman who been hit upon repeatedly by men she isn't interested in will tell you.

Sort of…

It normally takes a few years to sink in, like a light bulb moment.

It depends on how subtle or not your signals are.

In our minds it seems clear that the signal is sent but the person receiving the signal may not be sensitive to that particular signal.

It may also be that as some people stated above there can be confusion between being nice and signalling a subtle interest.

In the end nothing beats an overt message "would you be interested in going for lunch/coffee/walk...?"

It's risky if you fear rejection but you will gain clarity.

We're oblivious. I found out a few years ago that a woman I desperately fancied throughout university was also into me, and had been waiting for me to make the first move. I'd had absolutely no clue, despite her holding my hand throughout gigs, twice finding excuses to stay at mine overnight, and sharing a small single bed. That's how oblivious.

I'm long out of the game now, but I'd imagine that with the advent of #metoo, men are even more concerned these days about reading the signals wrong.

Basically, if you want a man to know you fancy him, you need to tell him, out loud, with plain simple words. Maybe a sign might help, or hire one of those planes that pulls a big sign across the sky

Basically, if you want a man to know you fancy him, you need to tell
him, out loud, with plain simple words. Maybe a sign might help, or
hire one of those planes that pulls a big sign across the sky

I know that was said in jest but a man like this would have you feeling like the male in a relationship forever more.

It does need to be reciprocal attention, otherwise you have a male who feels he never needs to show or try in a relationship, that he is expecting to lap up adoration with no effort on his part.

"It does need to be reciprocal attention, otherwise you have a male who feels he never needs to show or try in a relationship, that he is expecting to lap up adoration with no effort on his part".

Agree, this is why he will have to make the first move. I am fairly sure the attraction is there on both sides, the way he looks at me, he seeks me out. There is an awkwardness that was not there before. If i go in and make a move or tell him outright i will always feel on the back foot and that he didn't have to work for me iyswim. I do not want to be that easy for him even though unbeknown to him, i am a sure thing!

well I for one am absolutely useless at spotting signals.

It depends. Some men assume because you talk to/look at them that you must be attracted or 'drawn in'. And are way off the mark - this is where the creep factor and lovebomber/narc can come in.

Where there is mutual attraction, there is a certain a flow that is unforced/natural. Hard to explain, but it is out there I believe.

I've had couple of men, thinking because I'm generally chatty and smiley it's a sign of my attraction towards them. One in particular was quite surprised when I rebuffed his request for a date.
Dp on the other hand, I knew straight away and so did he, it's was literally a first sight experience.

Men feel that women are attracted to them when they are just being nice. Men see attraction everywhere, even when it does not exist.

This. It's pretty well documented that men in general consistently* *overestimate women’s sexual interest in them.

Yes, I think most men can. If they don't acknowledge it/ avoid it it means they don't reciprocate.

Oh god yes, I’ve experienced this before, you both speak lots but the subject of anything to do with the 2 of you, never comes up, I call it an ‘unspoken connection’ and it’s great when it happens, and even better when youse finally act on it!

I read that men tend to do this because in general then men are only nice to women they find attractive, and no doubt want to sleep with, and so they assume, stupidly, that we think the same, therefore if a woman is being nice to them, then we obviously want to sleep with them!!🙄

I bloody hope not. In peri menopause I was rampantly panting after every man ( almost). Bloody mortified if they could tell!

Depends on the man. Sex based generalisations are mainly pointless and harmful, and this is no exception

What a load of bollocks!

Ladies, many of us were brought up to walk on the road-side of the pavement and open doors for women and anyone vulnerable.
If it is assumed to be flirtatious behaviour, should we stop?
For me and my friends, female interest is often a form of l'esprit de l'escalier, where it dawns on us rather too late that someone has shown interest.
It's 2022, if you feel an attraction, invite him for a coffee.

I expect it varies from man to man

There is no drama here at all. Nothing has happened. Nothing.

Stop trying to 'deduce'. If you want a man who approaches you first, wait to be approached. There's no point in 'working out if he likes you' because you can't do anything about it anyway. If you're happy to approach a man first, then approach him.

The fuss you're creating is fiction. Have you nothing better to do than work out 'what men do'? Men are all different. He isn't a representation of 'men', he's just a bloke, with quirks and unusual bits, like we all have, male or female. Even if you work out what men do 99% of the time, it still won't tell you what he's doing/thinking/feeling. It's a waste of time.