Long post alert!!
I have been with my partner for a year and a half. Known him for about 3 years. I have a child from a previous relationship and he’s 4 now.
Everything seemed great until recently. Little things that bothered me about my bf in the past started to really get to me, such as him always disagreeing with everything I say. By that I mean he seems to always be looking to have an argument or a discussion. I can never be right, if I say the sky is blue he will tell me it’s green and will list 1000000 reasons as to why he feels that’s right. It gets exhausting and hardly makes it easy to have a decent conversation. this also happens when it comes to how I’m raising my son, he has always something to say on how I should be doing this or that. That the way I’m doing prob won’t work and maybe I should do it another way (hope that makes sense). I am very into gentle parenting and allowing my child to express his emotions and feelings, this is a new learning experience for me too as I wasn’t raised that way and I want to raise my son differently than k was and he just doesn’t seem on board with it or understands it. To be honest he doesn’t make the effort to understand as he has to argue with me why it is ineffective and how my child is trying to manipulate me etc…
I just vented one day to him, saying “I wish I knew a way to help my son let out all of his frustrations and feelings out in a safe way” he told me “oh speaking of letting out emotions, I seen a video by Andrew Tate where he was speaking about people who are allowed to express their emotions become psychos”. I had enough at that point. And many other things too.
He also tried to take over the parenting when he’s over here and I notice my son will hide certain things from him because he will tell him off, I stop it immediately (the telling off).
And then my bf moans that I go against him making him feel like an idiot. Even though he’s always doing that to me.
I also started to see that he will say things to me and in a judgey tone of voice and then when I call him on it, he will say “that’s not how I said it that’s not what I meant, sorry you took it the wrong way”. But I am not crazy, I’ve been with people who did this and I know what it’s like. On one instance, my son went to grab my b00b (he does that as a comfort thing when we’re at home, specially when he’s sick and wanting to be close to me as he was breastfed until his 4th bday) and I don’t care that my son does it. He’s not doing it in public and it’s not like it’s all the time. My bf looked at me and said “oh wow, I thought you would’ve put an end to that after our holidays” - in a very disgusted and judging tone of voice.I had never said I would. I asked him about it later and he said he repeated what he said in a very friendly tone and he was just curious nothing else. He also likes to boast about how much money he spends on me to show me how much he loves me, example: he took me on a 2 night stay in England (we live in Ireland) and he kept telling me he just spent £700 on me that he hasn’t done that to anyone else that’s just how much he loves me etc and insists on telling me how much his gifts cost and how much he’s spent with me on Xmas bday etc he came over couple of weeks ago and brought me some vape bars and then got my son a few toys and a take away. He then started telling me he had already spent £100 that day because he got me and my son stuff plus the dinner. Just makes me feel embarrassed and cheap
then there are other things as well but just wanted to give the general idea of the situation.
I’m sorry for the long post and I am sorry if it doesn’t make sense but my head is a bit of a mess at the moment. I haven’t seen him in 8 days and I can’t seem to properly speak to him as I am fed up
I don’t know what I’m looking for. Am I being an a**hole and making it a huge big deal? What do I do?