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Relationships

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Original poster

How long to wait for marriage?

128 replies

Holly2010 · 24/10/2022 02:10

Sorry this is a long read!

I’ve been with DP almost 6 years, living together for 3 years. We’ve discussed marriage and kids, seemed to be on the same page. I love him and our relationship is really good. I just feel we have got too comfortable as things are and we haven’t moved forward.

This past year we’ve been to 4 weddings and he knows I want to get engaged. I’m tired of waiting and I also feel like it’s pointless bringing it up as if he wanted to do it he would 😞 All our friends are married and some have kids, I don’t want to wait ages longer as I worry a lot about fertility. I also have older parents and I want them to still be young enough to have time with grandchildren.

We are in the process of buying a house but we’ve been trying to buy for over a year and two purchases fell through. We had always said let’s get the house first but it’s dragged on and I feel like we aren’t getting anywhere.

I then said I’d like to get engaged soon etc and he seemed on board but that was months ago and still nothing.

I guess what I’m asking is has anyone else been in this situation? What did you do, how long would you wait before you walk away? I’m 30.

OP posts:

Successgirl2022 · 27/10/2022 09:25

youlightupmyday · 25/10/2022 13:57

None of the proposed scenarios are strange to me because, I don't know, I listen and read and see what goes on a round me. It doesn't take a half wit to realise that some people think marriage is archaic, some believe they have common law rights in England and Wales, some believe it is traditional.to give the father's surname when unmarried, some want a proposal as they use it as an indication of commitment. There are all common scenarios. Some people never want kids or to be married.

My circle are all married, our sons and daughters are now marrying. So trad in that sense and most had a proposal of some sort, not a kitchen sink chat. I am divorced though, for 😃 . I literally do not have any friends, unless gay, who have not been married, at least once.

However, I don't expect everyone to marry.

Show quote history

I personally believe in marriage, loyalty, true mutual love & commitment.

For us, marriage works well & I wouldn't have it any other way.

We work as a team and I feel financially secure.

Marriage is also a business contract of future possible inheritance.

But I understand you can be not married and sign a will instead.

minticecreamisjustok · 27/10/2022 09:33

Tell him you'd rather wait and buy a house after you are married, then hopefully that will speed things up but only if he wants to.

Isthisexpected · 15/02/2023 02:42

So what happened OP?

If I didn't have that proposal yesterday I'd be saying look forget an engagement I want to set a date to get married...

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