Hi
So last night my chap came over with his 2 kids, we've been dating for a year and our children have only met in the last 2 months. We're trying to have one meal together per week as a 'blended family', so Tuesday nights, they come over around 5.30 and leave at 8. We think this gives our kids a chance to get to know each other little by little. Next summer we aim to live together as one family but we're taking it slowly at the start.
Anyhow, I moved home a few months back and I need lots of decorating done. My partner is always busy and stressed with work so generally doesn't help but after I moaned, he offered to paint the banister. He admits that he hates DIY as he spent the last 15 years of his previous marriage sorting the house out.
They came over last night, we all had a meal together and pudding, plenty of chat, everyone helping etc. He texted at 9.30 to say thanks. I was still settling my kids so didn't see phone until 22.15 at which point he messaged again with 'look, I'm not looking for an argument but ...' then he proceeded to list many of my faults. I'm not easy to communicate with, I don't open up easily, my ex keeps dictating when I have my kids, I'm moaning about the lack of progress in decorating, I don't plan decorating jobs very well, I don't appreciate the time he spent on the banister (I had said thanks every time he did any work on it), I don't value his time, I sometimes avoid discussions about the work needed (he tends to lecture so I do sometimes not engage), I'm too thin skinned etc etc. Now over the course of the last couple of months I probably did do some but not all of that list. We're all human, we all have our faults, I could rattle a load off for him too.
I messaged him back after that barrage of criticism to point out I'd cooked for him and his kids and done everything I could to make it an enjoyable evening. I thought we had a lovely evening and that's the response? I said in my text 'I thought we had a perfectly good evening. what the hell happened there? Night'
And he responded 'I rest my case 
'
He would normally stay at mine tonight but this morning I was so rattled, I told him not to bother coming over and to 'spend his valuable time with someone he actually respects'
Now this evening he texting that my response is depressing, he's tried to communicate with me and he's hit a wall, he feels like crying.
Honestly I have got no idea what's going on here, hes not usually this hard work. Can anyone see what's going on because I have absolutely no idea how to respond.