Is this a joke?

[Starfly]

My boyfriend of 5 years was joking around with my daughter the other night. He was drunk which is not an excuse.
I was in the living room and they were in the kitchen. He was at the fridge with his back to her he pulled his pants down and mooned her. I didn’t realise straight away what had happened. She has just turned 18 years old.
next day she was upset by this. I think it’s not a joke if that’s what he thought.
I did ask him over the phone the next day and he said he couldn’t remember then he said it wasn’t a proper moon just messing about. She said it was a proper showing his bum.
He got mad and hung up the phone. I was the one who is mad about this!

It wouldn’t bother me I’d probs laugh

That’s totally inappropriate.
Your boyfriend is mad because he knows he’s a creep doing that to a teenager.

Are you 18?

Hugely inappropriate!

and fucking out of order!

That’s what I thought

I suspect he meant it as a joke rather than anything sexual. However that doesn't mean it was funny or appropriate. I think he should apologise to your daughter.

Aye cos it’s funny at 18 to see your mums boyfriends arsehole

what a fucking creep op

I did ask him over the phone the next day and he said he couldn’t remember then he said it wasn’t a proper moon just messing about. She said it was a proper showing his bum

and what’s worse is he lied. Twice. One saying he couldn’t remember when he did and secondly trying to minimise what he did.

creep. Lying creep, to an 18 year old woman too. Who the fuck does that.

Bully for you for having low standards. Are you an 18 year old girl and exposed to your mother's partner acting inappropriately?

Totally inappropriate. Please support your daughter.

Ditch him.

It would be over. Immediately. What he did is inexcusable and grossly inappropriate. There is no way I would trust him after that. Your poor daughter. She must think he's such a fucking creep, and she'd be right.

Weird and inappropriate. He should be respectful towards your dd, and flashing his arse is boundary-crossing. I wouldn't trust him, so we'd be through.

That's sexual harrasment.

Dump the stupid toddler of a boyfriend

I know 5 years is a long time OP, but if you don’t LTB this is quite a message to be sending to your daughter.

I agree with pps—he lied twice about it. That’s the bit that creeps me out. The mooning was totally inappropriate, but if he hadn’t lied about it, I might have thought “Hm maybe he’s just an idiot?” Lying suggests he knows it was wrong.

Sitting down with your daughter and asking her how she feels and if she has seen any other inappropriate behaviour might help you to be firm in your mind.

Its the lies.

I cant remember so it didn't happen
If it did happen then it wasn't bad

I'm surprised he hasn't said your daughter made him do it. His first response should have been "sorry, I wasn't thinking. I'll apologise to dd next time I see her "

He was way too comfortable to do that to your daughter, joke or not. It's just off to me.

I'd dump him. Your daughter shouldn't have to put up with that. It's bang out of order and he knows it.

Have my first official LTB

How disgusting to bare your buttocks to an 18 year old

He has no boundaries and if he can remember he is a disgusting drunk.

Protect your daughter andn dump the vile child.

What was the joke about?

That sort of 'humour' is not my thing at all, but it's pretty mainstream humour.

your DD is 18, not 8. She should have just told him to 'grow up'

you've been together 5 years, is this the first stupid thing he's done? How do they usually get on.

it's really not a LTB thing it's a 'grow up' & a 'get over it' kind of thing.

It's weird if you ask me! What possessed him to flash his arse at an 18 year old ?!

I would be livid. This lying creep would already be blocked on all fronts.

@Starfly, in January you wrote that he’d added women he didn’t know on FB — coworkers, friends of friends, women from OnlyFans, and his Ex. When you questioned him about his Ex, he lied and denied adding her. He claimed that it was a fun novelty “to see what came back” from his requests, and shifted the blame to you not trusting him.

Pulling down his pants and showing his nasty behind to your teenage daughter was appallingly inappropriate. In addition, he’s proven himself to be a habitual liar. Surely by now he’s been banished from your lives.

Please get rid op.

I knew someone like this who 'laughed and joked' with his step daughter, she was always uncomfortable and trying to keep him at arms length, especially when drunk.
His behaviour did progress to very innapropriate.

Protect your girl and get him out. Im sure she would be relieved.

It's not funny.

Even if you think mooning is funny, no one wants to see their mother's boyfriend's arse.

He either lied about not remembering or got so drunk he really didn't remember; neither's good.

Fundamentally disrespectful to hang up on you when you're trying to have a discussion about a serious issue. And yes, if this is serious to your daughter it's serious. If it's serious to you it's serious.

She shouldn't have had to do anything. She did nothing wrong.

He's the one who should be making a genuine apology.

It's pretty hard to get over something if the perpetrator doesn't take any responsibility for it.