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Original poster

Is this a joke?

93 replies

Starfly · 18/10/2022 21:40

My boyfriend of 5 years was joking around with my daughter the other night. He was drunk which is not an excuse.
I was in the living room and they were in the kitchen. He was at the fridge with his back to her he pulled his pants down and mooned her. I didn’t realise straight away what had happened. She has just turned 18 years old.
next day she was upset by this. I think it’s not a joke if that’s what he thought.
I did ask him over the phone the next day and he said he couldn’t remember then he said it wasn’t a proper moon just messing about. She said it was a proper showing his bum.
He got mad and hung up the phone. I was the one who is mad about this!

OP posts:
girlmom21 · 19/10/2022 10:48

Men who do things like this continue to cross boundaries.
Don't let him OP.

knittingaddict · 19/10/2022 10:50

Inappropriate and now down playing. I wouldn't be happy at all.

I'm sure you will, but support your daughter's feelings about this. They are valid.

ShutYerYapAndGetOnWithIt · 19/10/2022 11:01

He sounds a right cretin

TeeBee · 19/10/2022 11:08

I wouldn't tolerate any partner of mine pissing around drunk in front of my kids, and they're big strapping boys.

What the fuck are you think OP? Get him out! Showing his arsehole to your daughter? So now she doesn't feel safe in her own home? You know his drinking is a problem and now he's flashing your daughter and making her feel uncomfortable. Get rid of him and perhaps get to keep your relationship with your daughter!

kateandme · 19/10/2022 11:08

Flashing can be an indication of what to come.men flashing woman without warrant or as hire achy It gets worse.

Flyinggeesei234 · 19/10/2022 12:07

OP right now he’s the only one in the wrong.

If you do nothing and stay with him you become guilty too.

Send a message loud and clear to your daughter that you believe her.

It’s as grim as fuck, no it’s not a ‘joke’.

LookingAtYou · 19/10/2022 12:12

God, just gross and so very inappropriate and. Echo everyone else, get rid.

AssumingDirectControl · 19/10/2022 12:28

Similar happened to a friend of mine when she was young and living at home with her mum and stepdad (I think she was about 19/20). Her mum accepted that it was all part of general joking around.

Shortly afterwards my friend caught her stepdad spying on her while she was naked in the bathroom.

She doesn’t speak to her mum these days.

You need to choose your daughter, OP.

Tipsyturvychocolatemonster · 19/10/2022 12:33

Op I’m wit you totally. I’d be furious but if he’d woke up apologised profusely and cringed himself inside out I’d have got over it as a one off. It’s the lying about it and trying to make your daughter out the liar that for me would end it. And that’s where you and I split paths, as I would have ended it over that.

but you’re not, you’re going to stay with the creepy lying drunk. What message does it say to your daughter when your bar is so very very low

StopStartStop · 19/10/2022 12:36

Get him out of your life.
What will he show her next? And who else gets to see things that ought to be covered up?
You've got a perv in your life, OP. Sort it.

VickerishAllsort · 19/10/2022 13:05

If he'll do this while you're in the next room what might he do (or indeed have already done) if he and your poor daughter were alone in the house?
For the sake of her dignity and safety get the perverted creep out of her home.

Aquamarine1029 · 19/10/2022 13:38

Starfly · 19/10/2022 09:14

I’m still fuming over this. Appreciate all the comments, thanks everyone.
If he had owned up and apologised to my daughter, still not good, might of been something. Putting the phone down on me like it was my fault and kind of making out I should see it as a joke. But lack of consideration/respect and like someone said earlier this year he did lie about other things.
Just surprised he thought it was okay and had never done anything like that before, out of the blue. He really has never done this before. My daughter only just turned 18, so does he now think it’s fine to joke like this?
His drinking has got worse lately and it’s no excuse. I have told him to sort it out but he has refused.

He's a pervert and has a drinking problem. You are going to dump him surely?

SandyY2K · 19/10/2022 14:07

Some of these responses show how low people's bar is in standards for a partner.

Pixiedust1234 · 19/10/2022 14:08

Its time OP. As another pp has said, what if he had turned around in that split second? Why is full frontal a no but the other okay in your house with your child barely in legal adulthood? Hint, its not okay.

If you want to continue seeing him thats your choice but stop him coming or staying over at yours. Otherwise you might find you no longer have a daughter.

Naunet · 19/10/2022 16:55

Watapalava · 18/10/2022 21:44

It wouldn’t bother me I’d probs laugh

So your daughter comes to you upset about it and you laugh?! Wow.

Greennetting · 19/10/2022 17:03

Dump him, your daughter deserves to feel safe in her own house

And to be honest I would be concerned what other lines he would be willing to cross.

AryaStarkWolf · 19/10/2022 17:09

gross

ViolinPin · 19/10/2022 18:23

Just surprised he thought it was okay and had never done anything like
that before, out of the blue. He really has never done this before. My
daughter only just turned 18, so does he now think it’s fine to joke
like this?

Yes he may think her age of consent is fully valid now and she has become fair game just like any other female adult.
This aspect has you worrying and I don't blame you, his views on women are deplorable.

The greatest gift you can give your daughter is to keep this creep away from her, show her your loyalty and your protectiveness.
If you cannot do that, at least help her get away from this unsafe household she is made to live in.

Prevent this from becoming a very serious matter.

Prevention is easier than the cure.

OhIdoLike2bBesideTheSeaside · 19/10/2022 22:23

So you don't want your daughter to be safe in her own home and your fine with an alcoholic pervert???

Sometimes there just are no words are you that desperate "not to be on your own" to think that's ok??

You are pathetic op

CrispyNoodles · 19/10/2022 22:26

@WalkingThroughTreacle So boiling it down you've got a boyfriend who stoats about shitfaced in your home and behaves inappropriately towards your daughter. You may not set a very high bar for your own partners but at least set a decent one for your children and who you force them to share their home with. Their home should be the one place in the world where they always feel safe and secure, not somewhere they have to run the gauntlet of mum's inappropriate drunk boyfriend.

This ^

HeadacheEarthquake · 19/10/2022 23:21

It saddens me how many posters would laugh.

Is that really funny? There are plenty of other ways to share humour intelligently without baring your arse. He's clearly a moron and anyone who finds it funny is equally dim. I can't imagine anybody I know doing this, drunk or not, to anyone as a "joke".

Embarrassing.

Calandor · 19/10/2022 23:28

I don't think it was anything perverted if that's what you're worried about. I think he was a drunk man making an inappropriate joke that crossed the line and was stupid. He likely didn't think about her being a young woman (I'd assume you know him better than I).

It was wrong especially as she was upset and he should apologise. But I don't think it was intended to be untoward. It was certainly gross though - men's bums are not very nice.

Calandor · 19/10/2022 23:30

But yes lying and refusing to apologise puts him much further into the wrong category. He needs to acknowledge it was inappropriate and importantly... why.

And cut back on the drink.

BertaHoon · 19/10/2022 23:30

I don't want to see your boyfriend's arse. Nobody wants to see your boyfriend's arse. Your daughter doesn't want to see your boyfriend's arse.

Is it okay that she's 18 now? What if it was last year, or the year before?

I'd dump anybody that mooned anyway. Let alone at my daughter.

MrsKeats · 19/10/2022 23:39

That's so grim. And common as muck,

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