His boss, my problem,

[notmyissue]

Posting because I need to get it off my chest.

DH bosses awkwardness is making my life difficult.

When we had children we sat down and worked out a split of childcare. I do all the mornings and drop offs. Then we split the pick ups 50/50.

On the two days he does the pick ups, I work late to make up the hours lost from all the drop offs.

His boss keeps booking on site meetings on the company WFH day, and late meetings on the day he needs to leave on time. So he can't do pick up.

My DH just accepts this, sends me a message saying he can't do pick up and then expects me to pick up the slack. Meaning I have to shuffle meetings arounds, let people down, and make up the hours in the evening or over lunch.

It's driving me up the wall! Burning me out and making me feel like keeping his boss happy is more important than me being happy. But his job pays more than mine, so it's difficult to risk pushing back.

It's not the boss's job to arrange meetings outside her DH's contracted hours on a regular basis

Too right.

Some years ago my friend was given a public bollixing by her prick of a new boss because she dared to say at 5.30 she had to leave an impromptu meeting.
She started work at 8am even though her core hours were 8.30-5pm.
He told her in front of colleagues to get her shit together if she wanted to stay on his team.
She too was collecting her children.
She was in that job, IT, with a well known multinational for 20 years.

She never returned to it.
9 months full pay off sick and 12 months settlement to stop it going to court for constructive dismissal.

It obviously helped that there were witnesses and that she had a rottweiler of a employment solicitor who told her it was going to be a very straightforward case from her first meeting.

This type of behaviour, when challenged can be dealt with very effectively.

Well for a start stop answering the phone or reading his messages when it's his turn to pick up (presumably you agree and acknowledge his request) or better still just say no!!! Every time you agree to pick up the slack, you are enabling him and it won't ever change. And why should it? The choice is a potentially awkward conversation with his boss that undermines his masculinity by admitting he co-parents. or listen to you moan for a bit but then ultimately agree. He needs to learn to be more assertive "no sorry boss that time doesn't work for me as you know, how about x?

Unless I've misread this, her DH doesn't need to submit a flexible working request he just needs to finish ON TIME. My days of working and logistics of childcare are thankfully over but agree with other posters, you need to stamp this out now before they start school or you are setting yourself up for a life of misery where work/life balance and resentment are concerned. You need to revisit your agreement with DH who does which pick-up/drop off on which days and save for dire emergencies, do not get the other parent involved. I would also suggest agreeing who does which day of the week for illness as that was a constant source of arguments until we set out days. (I took 2 days DH 3 as he was more flexible and earned considerably less)

Your DH needs to book a meeting in his calendar with out of office on. Not state pick up.

Then he does needs to push back and refuse to cancel his meeting. It is a power play by his boss.

It's not the boss's job to arrange meetings outside her DH's contracted hours on a regular basis

That's exactly what I agreed with. I think you've confused my post with someone else's.