Fiancée leaving after 8 years

[mwr789]

Hi all,

writing here for some advice really and appreciate any input.

my partner and fiancée told me yesterday very out of the blue that she isn’t happy as we’ve lost the spark. There is apparently nothing I’ve done wrong or can do differently..

this is very unexpected as we have a great life, sex life is still active, a wonderful daughter and recently enjoyed a long holiday together as a family. We went on a weekend away with friends just last weekend and nothing was un ordinary, all her actions are the same and she hasn’t been pushing me away so to speak. she just has said she has been unhappy since around august time and feels she has tried everything even though she has never spoken to me about it. I have told her what she means to me and that we should try to re light the spark but she doesn’t know if it can change and seems pretty set on that.

I have spoken to close people around me and they all are in as much shock as I am!

She has gone to stay with her mum for a couple of days to see where her heads at as she said it’s a mess and I am happy to give her space/time. I guess what I am asking is it unreasonable to ask for a chance to try and get the spark back or from a womens point of view is she done from her side? I pray she gives it a shot as I cannot imagine life without her, she is everything I want in a women.

she has openly said I’m a great partner, dad and it is nothing to do with my actions or behaviour which makes it so much harder to take!!

All advice/your side of it is really appreciated.

thanks

I am so sorry to hear your update but I am glad you've been able to make quick arrangements and I hope it continues to stay as smooth as amicable as possible. I have no doubt once all the thrill and excitement passes (and her single friend finds a guy and ditches her) she may have huge regret but that isn't your problem any more. You should like a great guy and father. I wish you all the best for the future!

Aww I'm truly sorry to hear your update, but sadly, as most of us thought, she's hankering after a single life and there is someone else. A bit shocked at her jumping into bed with a guy she's just met AND bragging about it to her friend though!

Please obviously do the right thing by your daughter, but don't be over generous to her. She has treated you badly and it's possible, once the thrill of a single life subsides, she may regret it one day, but in the meantime I hope you meet someone who will love and appreciate the decent man you are!

All the best and keep posting whenever you feel you need to!

Sorry this has happened to you. But at least things seem calm, and child arrangements not too disrupted. However, things can change -- e.g. once she realises she has no home, and none of your income to rely on (!), unless it's straight into living with the new partner.

Prepare yourself for an emotional rollercoaster. Some days you will free great, independent, master of your own time/life. Other days you will free truly terrible, wondering what you did wrong, concerned about your daughter. Over time, that will even out, and the lows not so bad, and the highs not so high.

I'd advise staying away from 'serious dating', if it was even on your mind, for several months at least.

I'd predict she will quickly regret this. I'm seen other examples where the 'friends' who are recently or mostly single encourage (even if subtly) this kind of behaviour. I'd add that "30" is a big birthday for both men and women in terms of thinking about their lives.

Anyway, best of luck mate!

Oh, and do try to keep cordial with her parents. That can assist with sanity (and childcare) down the line.

I’d put money on her crawling back at some point.

When it happens, I implore you to tell her to fuck off.

I'm so sorry to read your update.

Look after yourself, it's a horrid shock.

I echo this, or she is likely to walk all over you more than she already has.

Good luck to you and your daughter.