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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Can I ask something from people who has had multiple partners?

127 replies

CantAskAnyoneElse · 16/10/2022 18:54

If you have been with quite a few people (just to be clear this isin’t about ”shaming” anyone about ”numbers! this is not about that at all) does that make people less important to you?
Like you have had this person and that person, this person was like this and that person was like that .
Does it just becomes kind of a blur of people?
As in ”okey I’m not with this person, whatever, been there done that”.

I know I’m not coming off very clear.
It’s just that I’m late to dating, I actually had a thread about a guy some weeks ago and people encouraged me to go on a date with him and we’ve now been on a few date, nothing serious, but I know he’s been with quite a lot of women (fair enough) and I’m just worried that I’ll just be a number.

Do people / (possible) relationships become meaningless to those who have a pretty long list of exes or other kinds of ”partners”?

OP posts:

Tsort · 19/10/2022 14:43

CantAskAnyoneElse · 19/10/2022 14:20

Well how many times was I called rude or passive aggressive?
I didn’t want to go on hurtful finger pointing and answering to every response where they clearly haven’t read anything I said, some people chose to take it personal and act insulted - insisting I’m now ”shaming” others for ”number”, even though it clearly in the fir sentence that that’s not what I’m talking about.
How am I supposed to have an conversation with someone like that?

But once more, it’s been resolved in real life now, everything is fine out of MN, in fact would have been not ever even bothering here.

If you were called rude and passive aggressive multiple times, did you perhaps consider it might be because you’re rude and passive aggressive?

And if everyone ‘clearly hadn’t read what you said’, did you consider that the issue might not be ‘everyone’, but what you’d written?

In fact, did you engage with or understand anything that multiple posters have said to you?

No, you did not. Not sure how anyone is supposed to have a conversation with you in those circumstances, but best of luck in your romantic pursuits.

Pixiedust1234 · 19/10/2022 14:51

I was on your first thread OP so kind of understand your thinking on this thread, however if I hadn't been I would be like the other posters. Sometimes background (or link to other thread) helps enormously. You do have a distinct way of posting.

That said, If you cannot communicate with a partner then its going nowhere so its heartening to see you have talked and understood each other. Dont overthink things and enjoy the time together. Even if he isn't the one then it really is a good way to find what kind of guys or personality traits you do like for next time.

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