Online dating - is this a red flag

[Newusernameaug]

OLD - Just started chatting to this guy the last few days, my intuition and gut is telling me somethings not right, but I can’t articulate why, here’s the most recent message I’ve just received.
would this be classed as love bombing or future faking - for context we've not spoken verbally, video, this is literally just a few messages in.

it’s the second time he’s asked what I’m looking for, d previously said ‘I’m looking for ‘the one’ but been single 10+ years and I’ve only join tinder this past week as wanted to meet new people and explore the new area I’m living in’ - he then asked again, am I looking to marry, or just chat to people.

Sorry - I should have proof read before pressing send!!

I made it clear I was both seriously looking for a long term relationship but that I wasn’t putting any pressure on myself, and that I’d not OLD for years, despite being single for years.

Urgh. I don't like that at all. Wish list.

It's fine to want to know if someone is after just sex or looking for something more serious. But that all seems a bit heavy and too much. Would put me right off.

Thanks @morninginging me too - it just seems so heavy and prescriptive!

Urgh. He wants a humble woman. Yuck. That screams he wants you to remember he’s boss.

Ugh that made me cringe! Way too intense, if he's like this after a few messages, imagine what he'd be like in a relationship! What struck me is that he has this ideal of what the perfect woman looks like. If you don't meet up, he'll be constantly criticising your behaviour and expecting you to change.

a humble woman? In the bin.
This guy is no good - he's either very needy or future faking

That is weird. He uses the word 'honesty' twice and and also 'trustworthy', all in one text. And 'humble'.....
He sounds insecure with trust issues and like he'd be checking up on you.

Also he sounds smarmy l, about the waking up and hopes you are the special person.

Keep walking.....and walk fast...

This is another message he sent just before the screenshot:

“Well I’m really looking for my soul mate, a caring woman who will stay with me and love me till end of time, someone that will love me unconditionally and i will love her in return.....What about you xx”

I’m right to throw this one back in the sea aren’t I?!
this is why I don’t do OLD 😂

The last message on the bottom... no man talks like that in real life. It's what he thinks women want to hear. Selling a romantic dream.

He doesn't sound genuine

Humble? Boak.

Throw him back!

ARGH!

Nope.

“What struck me is that he has this ideal of what the perfect woman looks like. If you don't meet up, he'll be constantly criticising your behaviour and expecting you to change.“

Thank you @VioletCharlotte youve articulated how I was feeling - especially as I’ve had several
exes who put me on pedestals - and there’s only one way down from there - falling flat on my face for just being me, like when I haven’t lived up to their perfect expectations…..

Well at least he spelled "soul mate" right my ex spelt it sole 😂

But yeah red flag

This. It was the first thing that jumped out at me. But he's very full on, red flag. Humble? Biggest red flag of the lot. If you are not humble, or appear to think too well of yourself, he'll try and knock your self esteem down to size. More red flags than the red army.

Scammer. I don't think English is his first language either given the phrasing of some of the messages.

Hahaha thank you so much everyone!!

it’s strange how if I read this, I’d have the same answers you all do - but when it’s me and I’m like ‘but he’s attractive, lives not too far away, has some ticks (outdoorsy etc) I was thinking of ignoring the flags!

i had a sole mate ex too @Isaidnoalready 😂🙄

Yes yes yes to this!

phew thanks everyone for helping me see it clearly

Sounds like he knows what he wants but it sounds a lot of pressure on you, as he knows very little about you.
Probably meaning he wants a woman that looks beautiful and quietly put up with his ways.

Seems fake.
no one talks like that in real life.

I think he's got a very naive view of life. I always found it weird when dating - there were a lot of men who wanted to pin you down to wanting long term relationships and promising to be all sorts when you'd just met them. In reality people should take their time getting to know each other and feel free to move on if it's not working.

Red flag yes typical example of love bombing, I have used online dating on and off the last year and I advise trust your intuition I have received many messages like this before meeting

Tbh it looks like he's just copy pasted loads of bullshit phrases. "Loving unconditionally" makes no sense either - I'll do what I like and you're required to love me?!

I nearly replied and said I don’t believe in the concept of loving someone unconditionally!

Sounds scammy to me - I suspect it’s one of those OLD scams where once you are hooked they start asking for money - back in the bin