Met guy on holiday

[Shirl2022]

went on holiday to turkey with my friend wasnt looking for anyone the unexpected happened a met a turkish guy we both hit it off
when i came back he called every night after he finished work ,one night he asked if i could buy him mobile phone as his is no good and send to him ,which he has a smashed screen he said he would pay me back every month as he can not afford to buy out right he also says he has to get a visa to come over as the plan was for him to come and visit me but he says its hard for him to come over because of the visa situation i would have to send invitation for him
i am quite confused whats going on so i ended conversation said i need time tothink i have no idea about turkish men we also chatted about me going to istanbul at christmas to meet up by myself i am not comfortable going by myself i would go with a friend if that was the case any help on this matter would be great

he said it wasnt easy to come here he needs a visa invitation

he said his friend tried to come uk his visa was not approved they can not travel comfortably to other countries like i can the facilities provide to me are not provided to turkish people he has to wait at least 6 months for visa approval
he said if i dont believe him to research it

I had a feeling he would be from Turkey from your thread title. I'm not unfamiliar to long distance relationship or meeting a romance on holiday but this definitely screams scam. Hopefully you are taking everyone's comments on board. I'm sorry this has happened to you.

He's trying to get you to buy him a phone, a pretty expensive item.

You'll have no way of making sure he pays you back.

He could get the screen fixed on his own or buy a used one over there. It's full of new and used phones and phone repair places just like everywhere else.

He's prob just going to sell the new phone and pocket the money. I doubt he'll pay you back.

He's also hinting to get you to sponsor him for a visa for the uk.

It's all take, take, take .....

Also, sorry to say this but these guys 99 per cent, have a wife in their home town.

They get married off young usually, it's a Muslim country. Theyre nearly always married.

He's just hustling, he's a hustler.

I don't know - I know 2 women who are happily married to Turkish men they met on holiday ?

To be fair, not all Turks are like this - I was in an LDR with one for 4.5 years and I was never once asked for money - he would have been embarrassed not to have paid for everything.

However in this situation...yeah that's a big no from me. Do not buy him a phone, and he'll have about as much chance of getting a visitor visa as an ice cube in a sauna - my exP and I tried twice and even with everything they asked for it was still a no.

He's not the one 😊

Can't believe you haven't heard of this before and not heeded the warning signs.

Most Turkish guys are Muslim, very family orientated and their families like them to marry Turkish women and have families. They see Western women on the whole as 'toys/with loose morals' - so therefore easy to have a fling with or to get them to buy them things. I've worked with Turkish men in UK (tile company) and whilst they were nice (one was a Christian) they were family men and fairly religious/traditional.

He's probably right about the visa situation and it's best for you he doesn't come over and worm his way into your life.

Which is quite rare. Happens sometimes but not always.

I don't know if it's still a term but people from certain developing countries who had proven likely to go AWOL on e thrybgot into the UK and become illegal immigrants/workers used to be called "visa nationals" and used to be blocked from entering quite a lot. They wouldn't get in on visitor, tourist visas because they'd be likely to "go missing" and not leave.

For example, I lived in Ghana and Ghanians were (at that time) seen as visa nationals and I met some who's been turned away at attempted entry to the UK. They needed to have a host, a sponsor and prove they could afford to stay (and prob a return ticket etc).

It's possible Turkey is the same.

He wants you to host and sponsor him, he'll probably start suggesting marriage for you to do that. He just wants the option of a UK visa.

They pretend to find you attractive .. honestly watch 90 fiancé .. there is an man from Pakistan that is fleecing a 70 year old woman .. he outwardly talks about getting the rest of his family over !

It must be love, love, love.

Op, no one is that stupid. Write to take a break, they’ll love your ‘story’.

Con men usually sound very nice and convincing.

Yep. Tbh I have no sympathy when the women are whining in the media about being fleeced. They were just as exploitative.

Block him, don't send him anything and don't think about him again.

He is using you for the visa and money. Don't be a fool.

Scammer, he will bleed you dry, don't be fooled , he probably tries this on with all the women he meets. Tell him you can send him an old second hand phone you have laying around and watch his reaction, or do a reversal and play him at his own game, ask him to get you something, you won' t see him for dust.

Most Turkish guys are Muslim, very family orientated and their families like them to marry Turkish women and have families. They see Western women on the whole as 'toys/with loose morals' - so therefore easy to have a fling with or to get them to buy them things.

This.

I've encountered this in many other countries too.

If they don't need a visa or money, they'll just try to use you for sex.

If they need a visa, they'll try to use you for sex and a visa.

If they need money, they'll try to use you for sex and money.

If they need both, you'll getvtriple whammied.

By the way, if they can't marry you for the visa because eg they're already married somewhere that had a good registry system (not Turkey, you might not be able to find out if they're married), they'll even try to get you to have a child with them, because that used to get a "right to remain" til the child was at least 18. Not sure if it does anymore.

It wasn't even about age or looks; I was an early 20s pretty attractive young woman when I experienced this.

What do you say to him?
No, thankyou.

To the request for a phone, to the visa, and whatever else he's got up his sleeve.

You don't need to do any research into the difficulties of UK visas for Turkish citizens. Not your problem. Unless you want to be taken for a ride by someone who sees you as a convenience.

The visa thing is true. An old work mate is married to a Turkish man. He could never get a tourist visa to visit here as his job was seasonal.

He never asked her for money though. That's the huge red flag here.

By all means buy him a phone, why not marry him too? Sounds like a match made in an immigration centre.

You don't have to say much.

He'll have other "prospects" to focus on.

They rarely only have one.

Women are flying in and out every week or fortnight. They're trying to hustle constantly.

Op, if you are writing this in all seriousness, I would class you as a vulnerable adult. I hope you have access to real life help.

Of course this is a scam. You don't need to be nice. Block and delete.

If you don't want to just block then tell him you have new boyfriend in the UK so it's over. Then block.

Oh well if he seems nice he must be alright

He's using you. Look back on it with fondness for some (hopefully) good sex with a young hot man and block him on everything.

This 👆🏽 100%

OP please don't send him any money or items. It's not inconceivable to meet someone abroad but the fact he's asked for a phone quickly should be setting alarm bells. You don't owe him anything not even an explanation as to why you're going NC. The longer you stay in touch the harder it'll be to pull away, and this situation could get messy. Best to break away now.