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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

What did they say to you that made you immediately end it?

126 replies

AlwaysGinPlease · 04/10/2022 19:10

...or decide that was definitely the end?

Inspired by another thread.

Mine was pre DH when a boyfriend at the time said something in a weird baby voice and then kept on when I said stoppp! Killed it.

OP posts:
firstmummy2019 · 05/10/2022 16:47

SunThroughTheCloudsAt6am · 05/10/2022 14:54

A picture popped up on his phone, of a young woman with faded bruises all over her body and the caption - can't wait for you to come back and give me some more.

Ended it as soon as I'd put the kids (our kids) to bed.

How devastating for you!

Suetwo · 05/10/2022 16:52

WhackingPhoenix · 04/10/2022 22:34

When he hinted at obscene things to do with my dog. A cold sweat came over me and I reported him to the police as soon as I’d made my excuses to leave his flat.

I’m just glad I’d never, ever left my dog alone with him! Never seen or heard from him since.

Ugghh, god, it’s so depressing to think how many weird, sick freaks there are out there. Christ knows what kinds of horrors go on behind closed doors - no doubt fuelled by the dark web. If only you could stop some people breeding.

ilovepixie · 05/10/2022 17:14

Alicehants · 05/10/2022 00:29

I walked in the living room and found him attempting to give oral sex to my cats anus

😱😱

butterfliedtwo · 05/10/2022 17:32

SwanRot · 05/10/2022 16:42

An ex-partner used to wank off all over my arse when I was asleep. Quite why he thought I wouldn't notice in the morning I don't know.

One night, I woke up just as he was chucking his muck to hear him whispering his sister's name over and over again. Without a word, I scooped up his spunk, flung it in his face, got dressed and walked out for good.

He had the nerve to message me, begging me to come back and saying 'it wasn't what you think'. Really?

Ewww times a million.

Ginger1982 · 05/10/2022 17:40

Him: my sister's dead.
Me: OMG, so sorry.

Some weeks later...

Family member: how's your sister?
Him: Erm...
Me: I thought she was dead?

Needless to say, she wasn't.

dollydewdrop85 · 05/10/2022 18:06

Suffered a really shit mental health episode, was off work and quite poorly. He was badgering me for sex, and when I said he'd got his priorities wrong he said if sex was a priority we'd have been divorced years ago. Made me feel like shit tbh. That night woke up to him sucking my boobs while I was asleep..

Currently trying to pluck up the courage to leave.

FlyingMasticatedParticles · 05/10/2022 18:41

It was a long distance thing, I was really far from home and I had a chronic UTI (because he was so rough with me during sex even though I asked him not to be, he would just call me boring). Had to go to our of hours GP, had forgotten my purse to pay for the prescription. Sitting on the bench at the train station sobbing in agony he started asking when he was going to get the £8 or whatever it was for the medication. He was a nasty prick to be honest, in many ways.

Another one was "the only way anyone will ever sleep with you again is if they're raping you".

ConfusedHur · 05/10/2022 18:55

He said after 4.5 years together: "Without sounding like a teenager, am I in love with you and have I ever been - no."

MadeofCheeese · 05/10/2022 20:31

We need to see about getting you a boob job. . . I quite like my breasts and so does now DH!

Bibonelove · 06/10/2022 00:18

WTF!!!!

WhileAFoxIsWatching · 06/10/2022 00:23

All these stories are very instructive

LHReturns · 06/10/2022 04:47

He said ‘serviette’.

Highlighta · 06/10/2022 05:55

Most most recent relationship :

Was busy and when I looked at my phone, he'd sent a message about an hour previously, and then one every few minutes thereafter asking me why I'm ignoring him. I wasn't even about anything important or urgent either. He used question marks and the arms up emoji in most of the messages. I ended it there and then in a reply.

For my marriage, unfortunately it wasn't just one thing, it was a slow death to the end.

Highlighta · 06/10/2022 06:03

DarkShade · 05/10/2022 12:02

I am a complete fucking idiot and am still in this relationship, but have a running list in my head of 'yep, that should have been the end' moments. Including: not talking to me all night on holiday because I accepted a cigarette off a man who was at the resort. Different holiday - throwing my things across the room because I had looked at photos of a man's artwork he was showing people. Called me a whore when he saw a group photo in which a male friend had his arm around my shoudlers (and the shoulders of the man the other side of him!). Angry at me for wanting to go to a mutual friend's party, demanding to know "why are you so horny to go to this fucking party anyway?".

Leaving hospital after giving birth that morning and opening up umbrella to put over newborn, but doing it slowly because I was dazed from just giving birth, he says in disgust "what are you doing that's for the baby, not for you". Will never forget the venom in his voice as he said 'you'. Asking me "why do you never keep yourself nice?" when I was on my way to first meet up with NTC mums after birth. Screaming at me that I am a cunt and a shit mother for not using organic pasta to feed 1 year old.

I hope this thread helps you to see just how not OK this is. And that you can move on without him.

roestbruin · 06/10/2022 06:08

@ILoveAnOwl don't blame yourself, he is the asshole. Well done for moving on.

I was very young. His 'I love you' moment to me was so sweet, driving at night in a beautiful city, so romantic, perfect, dreamy "... together blabla, ... love you, ..." until "...but my JOB is my passion, my JOB will be always be my mistress." Sorry, what? Bit of a cold shower for me! at least he was being honest but I had to let him go free to run into his mistress' arms.
Fast forward to now, he is a very successful actor, very handsome and happily married.😑

roestbruin · 06/10/2022 08:25

Sorry I killed the thread.

Georgeskitchen · 06/10/2022 08:58

LHReturns · 06/10/2022 04:47

He said ‘serviette’.

What's wrong with that?

Footle · 06/10/2022 09:04

@Georgeskitchen , if you have to ask...

isthismylifenow · 06/10/2022 09:28

Footle · 06/10/2022 09:04

@Georgeskitchen , if you have to ask...

Can you explain as I don't get it either.

(I use the word, maybe I've been dumped because of it 😂)

Sirius3030 · 06/10/2022 09:42

Am1beingUnreasonable · 05/10/2022 01:46

This whole thread just cements for me that most men are lying, dirty, selfish, idiotic, utterly delusional pricks! And all on a sliding spectrum of how abusive and perverted they are. 🤮

When I win euromillions I’m buying a remote tropical island, building a luxury resort for women only and you’re all invited.

Absolutely agree. There are clearly well over 100 horrible men on this post asking for stories about horrible men. There can’t be any good men out there at all, unless I have done my sums wrong?

Original poster
AlwaysGinPlease · 06/10/2022 12:50

@Sirius3030 Nowhere did I mention men. Nor did I mention horrible stories. Hope that helps.

OP posts:
Notaboutthebass · 06/10/2022 13:04

Whilst being sexual he said "I'll put it where I want". I should have left him then. I spoke about it, crying, explaining that I'd been sexually abused in the past and not to say things like that. Weeks later he said " I'll do what I want to you". I left the prick.
Were so many red flags beforehand. And I chose to see how things went...stupid me!

Vonsprocker · 06/10/2022 13:10

When my mum died and my partner said you’re going to have to get over this grief - it’s making me miserable and reminding me of being married. There were some other great one liners around this time but you get the gist….

Itstimetoquit · 06/10/2022 19:55

Ex..i hope you die an early horrible death(infront of our 8 year old child)

Me...kicked him out on the spot!

Bluequilt · 06/10/2022 22:08

Sirius3030 · 06/10/2022 09:42

Absolutely agree. There are clearly well over 100 horrible men on this post asking for stories about horrible men. There can’t be any good men out there at all, unless I have done my sums wrong?

Show quote history

Clearly you’re missing the point Sirius . Sure, this might be just one thread but the number of men who fit these stories ( many of which relate to sexual perverts /creeps) …..are wayyyyy more than just this thread
I think most women have met perverted men who have sexual issues , overstep boundaries and are creeps in their lives , don’t believe that men could say the same about women!