Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

What did they say to you that made you immediately end it?

126 replies

AlwaysGinPlease · 04/10/2022 19:10

...or decide that was definitely the end?

Inspired by another thread.

Mine was pre DH when a boyfriend at the time said something in a weird baby voice and then kept on when I said stoppp! Killed it.

OP posts:
firstmummy2019 · 05/10/2022 12:26

DarkShade · 05/10/2022 12:02

I am a complete fucking idiot and am still in this relationship, but have a running list in my head of 'yep, that should have been the end' moments. Including: not talking to me all night on holiday because I accepted a cigarette off a man who was at the resort. Different holiday - throwing my things across the room because I had looked at photos of a man's artwork he was showing people. Called me a whore when he saw a group photo in which a male friend had his arm around my shoudlers (and the shoulders of the man the other side of him!). Angry at me for wanting to go to a mutual friend's party, demanding to know "why are you so horny to go to this fucking party anyway?".

Leaving hospital after giving birth that morning and opening up umbrella to put over newborn, but doing it slowly because I was dazed from just giving birth, he says in disgust "what are you doing that's for the baby, not for you". Will never forget the venom in his voice as he said 'you'. Asking me "why do you never keep yourself nice?" when I was on my way to first meet up with NTC mums after birth. Screaming at me that I am a cunt and a shit mother for not using organic pasta to feed 1 year old.

@DarkShade you've got this, all in good time. Use this time to get your ducks in a row.

Lightattheendofthetunnel100 · 05/10/2022 12:30

When he said “I’m so happy you’re you because all my previous girlfriends were mad psychos”!

CandyLeBonBon · 05/10/2022 12:35

Mine was, on my birthday, at an attempt to have a nice meal out in spite of our floundering marriage (I'd begged for couple counselling and he refused) and asked him what he'd like to do for his 40th birthday and he said "I don't know, I'm just trying to get through this fucking meal" and that was the final nail in the coffin after years of trying desperately to make things work. I just couldn't any more. So I told him that was it. And I never looked back.

tresleches · 05/10/2022 12:41

It wasn't a serious relationship and I'd already finished with him once. Then we hooked up and while we were getting dressed afterwards he mentioned something about the Holocaust and added (earnestly - there had been signs): "if it really happened".

Lightattheendofthetunnel100 · 05/10/2022 12:44

butterfliedtwo · 05/10/2022 10:21

You're great, but how can I tell my mates I'm dating someone in a wheelchair?"

Let me fix your problem. Dumped.

My God that’s despicable. What an arse.

Whichwhatnow · 05/10/2022 12:48

When he proudly informed me on coming out of the polling station that he'd voted UKIP. I'd put up with 9 years of mental and ultimately physical abuse but that was the one thing that made me realise that it wasn't me causing it or some form of toxicity that just existed within our relationship (he was good at being charming to others) - he was just a horrible human being.

Also, a very stupid one - he was Polish ffs!

CandyLeBonBon · 05/10/2022 12:57

Another ex from my mid twenties wrecked my flat in a rage about some perceived slight (I'd probably looked in the vicinity of another man at some point, I'm guessing) so I fled to my neighbour's called the police and that was the last I saw of him. He did write a letter saying he didn't understand why I wouldn't speak to him as it hadn't been ALL bad.

He kicked me black and blue during our 4 year relationship so you can understand why I didn't share his outlook!

CandyLeBonBon · 05/10/2022 12:59

And my final one was that he'd stolen my son's adhd medication for the nth time - I told him that he needed to go, and then I found out that he'd been scoping out my replacement on OLD sites anyway. So that was him gone.

TooHotToTangoToo · 05/10/2022 13:14

Him - if you walk out that door don't bother coming home
Me - bye (as I walk out the door)

Bogofftosomewherehot · 05/10/2022 13:20

In front of friends he snapped at me:
"why can you just never do as you're told!"

I walk out without a word, went home, packed and left.

ihatesoaps · 05/10/2022 13:20

DarkShade · 05/10/2022 12:02

I am a complete fucking idiot and am still in this relationship, but have a running list in my head of 'yep, that should have been the end' moments. Including: not talking to me all night on holiday because I accepted a cigarette off a man who was at the resort. Different holiday - throwing my things across the room because I had looked at photos of a man's artwork he was showing people. Called me a whore when he saw a group photo in which a male friend had his arm around my shoudlers (and the shoulders of the man the other side of him!). Angry at me for wanting to go to a mutual friend's party, demanding to know "why are you so horny to go to this fucking party anyway?".

Leaving hospital after giving birth that morning and opening up umbrella to put over newborn, but doing it slowly because I was dazed from just giving birth, he says in disgust "what are you doing that's for the baby, not for you". Will never forget the venom in his voice as he said 'you'. Asking me "why do you never keep yourself nice?" when I was on my way to first meet up with NTC mums after birth. Screaming at me that I am a cunt and a shit mother for not using organic pasta to feed 1 year old.

Get out NOW!

EndlessMagpies · 05/10/2022 13:47

During a first date:

"I fucking hate cats"

Not something you want to hear when you have three of them.

Kissingfrogs25 · 05/10/2022 14:00

‘I don’t think any of the roles offered reflect my talent and expectations’

Whilst spending all day at the gym and not paying any bills.

The door is that way sweetheart >>>>

Sadgirlonatrain · 05/10/2022 14:04

@Whichwhatnow Same here, I've barely spoken to him since leaving the polling station that day. We vote separately now.

Istolethecookies · 05/10/2022 14:20

‘’If you get pregnant, I’ll push you down the fucking stairs.”

QforCucumber · 05/10/2022 14:26

young, I think around 19 and he was 20.Upstairs at his parents house, he went to make a drink, Heard him and his mum shouting at each other.

He came back upstairs and punched his bedroom wall twice, splitting his hand, then sat down to watch a film as if nothing had happened.

I said My mum had text and I had to go, thankfully I drove - I left and didn't respond to his texts or calls from then (maybe we never actually broke up)

Cigarettesaftersex1 · 05/10/2022 14:47

If you go on holiday with your friends then consider this relationship over. Okies then, byeeeeeee

Original poster
AlwaysGinPlease · 05/10/2022 14:50

I loathe the abhorrent, disgusting men in this thread. Animal abusing /murdering rapists and possibly pedophiles. They should all swing.

OP posts:
SunThroughTheCloudsAt6am · 05/10/2022 14:54

A picture popped up on his phone, of a young woman with faded bruises all over her body and the caption - can't wait for you to come back and give me some more.

Ended it as soon as I'd put the kids (our kids) to bed.

TimBoothseyes · 05/10/2022 15:08

"Why don't you give me the same attention as you do to them" about DD (aged 6 and DSD aged 10).

SlovenlyUnwedMother · 05/10/2022 15:16

My mum nearly died after a horrible mental health episode and was in hospital so I needed to go back to my hometown for a couple of days. I begged him to come with me and he said no.

Leopardprintisaneutral · 05/10/2022 15:57

"Can I suckle your tits like you're my mummy?" Not even joking, I've had this TWICE

Am1beingUnreasonable · 05/10/2022 16:38

Leopardprintisaneutral · 05/10/2022 15:57

"Can I suckle your tits like you're my mummy?" Not even joking, I've had this TWICE

Think this comment has just ruined my sex life forever 🤮

SwanRot · 05/10/2022 16:42

An ex-partner used to wank off all over my arse when I was asleep. Quite why he thought I wouldn't notice in the morning I don't know.

One night, I woke up just as he was chucking his muck to hear him whispering his sister's name over and over again. Without a word, I scooped up his spunk, flung it in his face, got dressed and walked out for good.

He had the nerve to message me, begging me to come back and saying 'it wasn't what you think'. Really?

ILoveAnOwl · 05/10/2022 16:44

Told my 3 year old she was a 'selfish little bitch' for not going back to sleep when he wanted a lie in. I didn't say anything. I didn't come to her defence. Because I was so conditioned to say nothing and never question him.

When I realised I couldn't advocate for my children, that was the moment I knew I had to go.