Husband following women on Facebook

[Notbeinfunnehbut]

We had a conversation about instagram models earlier on this year
out of curiosity I typed into Facebook his name and clicked on photos to see what he was looking at based on something I read on here
low and behold amongst normal stuff , loads of onlyfans style pictures of women
they aren’t friends it’s more pages I think but following
the likes and images don’t pop up on my newsfeed I really hope they don’t pop up on other peoples 😞

I can’t really bring it up right now, but a lot of the likes are recent id have to bring it up at the right time , I’m just trying to unpack this
in his mind I don’t think he gets it
sorry to offload

So what’s your point? Because pedophiles that get off on child rape images and videos exist and FB can’t 100% eradicate them (no one can btw), then no man in a committed relationship should be allowed to follow adult women on FB ever?

That’s rather batshit. I mean if my partner came to me and said I absolutely must never ever follow or like any tweets by a man ever because it’s sleazy and disrespectful and these men might get ideas and then I’ll get death threats and rape threats. And then send me an article about how these threats happen on Twitter by the thousands every day and a court case is being filed for them “letting” such criminal behaviour go on. All to try and prove how I must respect his wishes, I’d laugh in his face.

Wow this has erm, escalated 😒

im going to step back now

thanks for all helpful replies

The OP is talking about FB. That makes your comments derails.

follow adult women

Yes all very much adult women

Yeah how on earth did this get on to paedophiles, rape etc..

I’ve no idea myself

@Bluequilt What you said did suggest looking at sexual images of animals and children:
You don’t care if he looks at beastiality ? Minors? that’s scary

I think beastiality and minors are quite an escalation from my original post

it’s sad people can’t make their own threads for these discussions

like I said thanks for all the helpful posts left

it’s sad people can’t make their own threads for these discussions

often posts will raise other related or extended points though, as yours did. If these are women that your husband knows it’s different, but if not then actually some of the points we raised are directly relevant to you. People don’t seem to understand that online photos and videos aren’t necessarily put there by the women or girls themselves or with their knowledge, and that the age can’t be verified. Yes, including Facebook. If your husband is spending time admiring photos of women he doesn’t know, it isn’t actually the leap you think it is to say he may be looking at videos/porn etc that then involves the more serious issues raised. They were raised by others saying they don’t care what their partners looked at, which some of us think is naive and concerning. You clearly do care and that’s all that’s relevant in your relationship and this post, your feelings of discomfort and being able to tell your partner that openly.

I know it’s frustrating if your thread is derailed, but I don’t think it was a massive leap or derail at all.

Actually you said:
loads of onlyfans style pictures of women they aren’t friends it’s more pages

so our points are entirely relevant. Also you mentioned you watch porn so the issues raised about that are entirely relevant too, you raised porn. Not us. At least think about our points on that and the dangers. I hope it isn’t porn hub you use.

100% Agree. I was like 🤯 when I saw it.

Tbh I'd be bothered by this more because of the kind of person it shows he is, rather than it being a public lack of respect for his wife/gf. I just wouldn't want to be with the kind of man who leers over Only Fans type pictures on his social media accounts. It's just so sleazy and scummy that it would instantly kill any respect or attraction I had for him.

I completely agree

It's the fact that it's on social media that's really bad. This isn't like looking at women in magazines - he can actually communicate with these women and that's part of the appeal. They are reachable. I bet some of these men are liking these pictures in the hope that one of the women might, just might, click on his profile back and think 'Ooooo....what an interesting guy' and strike up a conversation.

If someone has thousands of followers it's unlikely to get noticed, but I think men do this as the digital equivalent of waving at a woman hoping she'll wave back. It's disrespectful.

Look up ‘reductio ad absurdum’.

You brought up bestiality, question mark or no. You introduced ridiculous hyperbole into the conversation. It is impossible to have any sort of intelligent conversation with a person that does that.

Your response to me was akin to going up to a person who says ‘I’ll eat anything’ and going ‘you’ll eat anything?! You sure? You’ll eat shit, then? That’s gross!’

It was bizarre, childish and unnecessary. Multiple people have told you this, but you can continue telling yourself that you’re being wilfully misunderstood by all of us as you fight the good fight.

And bestiality? Were you also ‘simply asking’ how my partner manages to avoid the omnipresent bestiality on social media, as well? Or do you admit that it was a truly bizarre thing to introduce into the conversation?

If you introduce bizarre irrelevant and offensive hyperbole into a conversation, people will stop talking to you.

Nobody was ‘running around’ telling anyone that everything online was okay. Again, hyperbole. You seem incapable of having a rational adult conversation.

Me: I don’t care what he looks at.

You: You don’t care if he looks at beastiality ? Minors? that’s scary

Me: Your response to me was akin to going up to a person who says ‘I’ll eat anything’ and going ‘you’ll eat anything?! You sure? You’ll eat shit, then? That’s gross!’

You didn’t need to illustrate I wouldn’t be okay with bestiality, as no rational person would have that interpretation of what was said. The same way ‘I eat anything’ clearly doesn’t mean the person in question gorges themselves on faeces.

I’ll repeat what I said previously:

You introduced ridiculous hyperbole into the conversation. It is impossible to have any sort of intelligent conversation with a person that does that.

It was bizarre, childish and unnecessary. Multiple people have told you this, but you can continue telling yourself that you’re being wilfully misunderstood by all of us as you fight the good fight.

@Bluequilt
I don’t think you know what a ? means if you think it means ignore the word that comes before as I’m not really writing it.

Your whole premise was a snarky derail. You know @Tsort wasnt saying “anything” to include things that are illegal and immoral.

And most of your posts are a lecture on online safety suited to an 11yo not an adult who we can safely assume not only knows how to avoid sexual images of animals and children but isn’t fucking looking for any either.

And the whole “how does your partner know the age of…” well that would be the same fucking way I and all women also know. That’s how. He’s an adult. I’m an adult. I don’t need to monitor or restrict a fellow grown adults online activity on some ridiculous excuse that he might “accidentally” pull up photos of something sick and illegal that only I, being a woman, could spot and prevent. It’s ridiculous.