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Original poster

Just a coincidence?

110 replies

Justanothercliche · 02/10/2022 10:13

Today my DH added me to his work calendar. Looking through I saw for his work conference dates (a four day weekend not over a public holiday) his assistant had added in her leave dates for his reference which fell over the same dates.

For history, my DH and her have great ‘banter’ and she tried to invite herself along to DH’s dinner with clients as his plus one until he learnt I was upset and I thought this was a sign he was cheating. He decided to cancel going to the dinner and offered to fire her.

Upon seeing my face when I remarked my surprise that they were away for the exact same dates he reminded me he asked me to come with him and I had said no, that he wasn’t going with her and it was just a coincidence she had leave for the same time and he has now completely cancelled the conference without me having suggested it. This was apparently a very important conference for him.

Previously when she would call and we were in the car together he would immediately announce he was in the car with his family (reason being she has a ‘potty mouth’ and he didn’t want her to swear in front of the kids) now I’ve noticed he won’t even answer her calls if I’m with him.

Just a coincidence or is he cheating?

OP posts:
Aggypanthus · 03/10/2022 15:06

OP You can read all the responses on here.. some of them helpful, some of them not and some of them are nasty. Take it all in and decide for yourself because only you know him.
I would say to keep your eyes and ears open as it all sounds iffy to me especially the 'phoning him in his car bit.. I mean - why 'phone him out of work?

Original poster
Justanothercliche · 07/10/2022 11:16

Just thought I’d give a final update.
We are all good again.
A day or so after the last update he wanted to talk. Neither of us were angry this time so it went a lot better.
He couldn’t understand how I could think he loved anyone other than me or would do anything to ruin our family which he thinks is perfect.
He cancelled the conference because he said he couldn’t go knowing that I would be thinking he was being unfaithful whilst away.
Also something I hadn’t mentioned before was that when I had found out about his assistant’s leave he had straight away asked me to come with him again, that it wasn’t too late and he would book me business class tickets to come (I said no).
I really think this was just a moment of insanity for me and I’m convinced he hasn’t and wasn’t planning on cheating.
Now he has brought me a very nice bunch of flowers as ‘I obviously need to feel more loved’.
He can’t rebook the conference.

OP posts:
GloriousGlory · 07/10/2022 11:50

Justanothercliche · 07/10/2022 11:16

Just thought I’d give a final update.
We are all good again.
A day or so after the last update he wanted to talk. Neither of us were angry this time so it went a lot better.
He couldn’t understand how I could think he loved anyone other than me or would do anything to ruin our family which he thinks is perfect.
He cancelled the conference because he said he couldn’t go knowing that I would be thinking he was being unfaithful whilst away.
Also something I hadn’t mentioned before was that when I had found out about his assistant’s leave he had straight away asked me to come with him again, that it wasn’t too late and he would book me business class tickets to come (I said no).
I really think this was just a moment of insanity for me and I’m convinced he hasn’t and wasn’t planning on cheating.
Now he has brought me a very nice bunch of flowers as ‘I obviously need to feel more loved’.
He can’t rebook the conference.

Stop pushing this man, poor sod! That level of appeasing you will not last for ever.

Aggypanthus · 07/10/2022 13:18

I'm not convinced OP. He made a concerted effort to deny and then to cap it all bought flowers.
Keep your eyes and ears open from now on, I would

itwasntmetho · 07/10/2022 13:33

Do you do this a lot? It's the sort of thing I would do tbh, I never enjoy relationships the way you're supposed to.
Do you think you may benefit from some counselling (alone) about why you are unable to enjoy your relationship?
Not to ignore things and gaslight yourself, but so you can enjoy things when they are good. Or I might be projecting! But I wish I'd done this before.

Backtoreality22 · 07/10/2022 13:44

I still wouldn’t trust him.

Watchkeys · 07/10/2022 14:05

He cancelled the conference because he said he couldn’t go knowing that I would be thinking he was being unfaithful whilst away

This is unhealthy, OP, sorry. Appeasing jealousy isn't a good way to deal with it. If it was, it'd be right for a person never to go outside because their partner would get jealous. The jealousy is in control. If nothing else, this pattern, if continued, will lead to him being resentful of you. You still don't trust him.

GloriousGlory · 07/10/2022 14:07

Backtoreality22 · 07/10/2022 13:44

I still wouldn’t trust him.

Why not? OP has confirmed she was wrong? Still don't believe her?

PineOrange · 07/10/2022 15:43

Yet another 'situation' controlled by him.

He must be very pleased with himself.

You are back on side.

LoekMa · 08/10/2022 01:06

You seem obsessed with his secretary.

Do YOU work OP or are you projecting your fear that any woman who has to work would rather steal your precious hubby instesd? 🤣🤣

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