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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Asked him not to do it..

85 replies

Changeduser · 29/09/2022 13:47

But he carried on I said again don’t and he said i will
(slapping bum during sex) not hard but enough to make a noise!

do people actually enjoy this? I found it makes me feel horrible
i brought it up in morning but he doesn’t take me serious

OP posts:
Original poster
Changeduser · 29/09/2022 13:48

Maybe i am boring or old fashioned

OP posts:
MarshaMelrose · 29/09/2022 13:49

If you don't like it, he shouldn't do it. And vice versa.

Jellycatspyjamas · 29/09/2022 13:51

If you don’t like it it doesn’t matter if anyone else does. It’s not for you so he should stop.

SpinningFloppa · 29/09/2022 13:52

Yes some people like it but that’s not relevant only relevant that you don’t

Fraaahnces · 29/09/2022 13:55

If you have said no, then it’s assault. You need to spell that out VERY clearly. (Oh, and dump his arse)

Maray1967 · 29/09/2022 14:01

Get rid of him.
Think about it please, OP - he pays more attention to what he sees on porn or what a previous partner liked than he does to what you have clearly said. He is ignoring you - dump him, he’s vile.

Surtsey · 29/09/2022 14:02

You said no. That makes it assault.

Chdjdn · 29/09/2022 14:07

How long have you been together? Honestly if someone ignores my boundaries like that then I’m not having sex with them again.
and no not boring, i wouldn’t enjoy that either

candycaneframe · 29/09/2022 14:08

Of course people enjoy it, it's a very common and pretty tame sexual preference during intercourse

But you don't, you said you didn't want him to do it again and he did

I'd dump the fucker in your shoes

Original poster
Changeduser · 29/09/2022 14:14

I said the next day how much I didn’t want him doing it but he said he will its his arse he ownes it etc.. laughing

OP posts:
Daisychainsx · 29/09/2022 14:19

Oh noooooo OP that's absolutely not ok! If he thinks it's 'his arse', and doing something you don't like is funny, god knows what he'll try next.

I'd tell him cheerio. But if youre not there yet, say that if it happens again it's not consented and you'll have no choice but to leave him as he is blatantly assaulting you.

Or bite his balls and tell him they're yours and see how he likes it 🙄 (that was a joke btw, before anyone starts)

WhenDovesFly · 29/09/2022 14:19

Changeduser · 29/09/2022 14:14

I said the next day how much I didn’t want him doing it but he said he will its his arse he ownes it etc.. laughing

WTF??? I would bin him so quick he wouldn't know what's happened!

AtrociousCircumstance · 29/09/2022 14:20

His behaviour is anti-consent and his follow up comment absolutely vile.

End it.

AnotherAnxiousMess · 29/09/2022 14:20

Tell him bluntly, “If you carry on doing it after I say no, then it’s assault.” If that doesn’t stop him, kick him to the curb.

LynneBenfield · 29/09/2022 14:22

Whatever the act, if you said no and he continued to do it, then he’s out of order.

Birdy1066 · 29/09/2022 14:23

How about hitting his arse with a big stick instead ? Or better still boot his arse out the front door 😂

GobbolinoTheWitchesCat · 29/09/2022 14:27

Fraaahnces · 29/09/2022 13:55

If you have said no, then it’s assault. You need to spell that out VERY clearly. (Oh, and dump his arse)

This, with bells on.

The only response to him declaring hell do as he likes, is to dump him.

Sausagelove · 29/09/2022 14:29

Are you married to this man?

JorisBonson · 29/09/2022 14:31

Changeduser · 29/09/2022 14:14

I said the next day how much I didn’t want him doing it but he said he will its his arse he ownes it etc.. laughing

He sounds fucking disgusting.

Original poster
Changeduser · 29/09/2022 14:34

Not married but dc involved LTR

OP posts:
Pixiedust1234 · 29/09/2022 14:35

Changeduser · 29/09/2022 14:14

I said the next day how much I didn’t want him doing it but he said he will its his arse he ownes it etc.. laughing

Whose arse is he actually slapping, yours or his? If its yours then he really doesn't own it and he needs to have the law and consent explained to him (its assault)

If he says you are boring point out some men like their penis to be bitten and you'll do that next time 😉

YouAreNotBatman · 29/09/2022 14:46

You said no, he didn’t respect that. That’s a huge red flag.

You are not boring.

LoveBugBride · 29/09/2022 14:49

I hate having my bum slapped during sex, I'm not a race horse!

I would stop sex every time he did it and have had to do this in the past with exes. If they get away with it they just carry on. He will probably sulk and make out you are being ridiculous but he will soon learn that you are serious.

SiobhanSharpe · 29/09/2022 14:52

Well, if your arse belongs to him, then surely his balls are yours.
(I hear that some men like theirs being smacked. So....)

BrimFullOfAsher · 29/09/2022 15:00

Stop having sex with him 🤷‍♂️

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