Asked him not to do it..

[Changeduser]

But he carried on I said again don’t and he said i will
(slapping bum during sex) not hard but enough to make a noise!

do people actually enjoy this? I found it makes me feel horrible
i brought it up in morning but he doesn’t take me serious

No, but they'd absolutely revel in getting you to break up. That's what it's like on here. They enjoy helping to pull relationships apart at every opportunity. Be careful who you listen to 😉

Has he always been like this or is it a new development? I assumed it was a relatively new relationship for him to behave that way during sex and you to be questioning it but if you’ve had time to have a family together it’s been a while?

Its quite new behaviour

Why don’t you tell him that you’re not having sex with him if he hits you. Simple. No conversation, no discussion. If he hits you, you don’t want to have sex with him

What do you think has prompted the change? Has he always been quite proprietary over your body or is that new too? Is he trying to spice things up, getting a bit dominant and getting it wrong or is he more generally disrespectful?

I guess what I’m saying is if it’s a long relationship with children and this is a change in behaviour I’d be more inclined to try and explore what’s brought that about. If it’s a new relationship with no track record I’d be walking away.

There is no excuse for someone to assault you. I'd be sorry if he continued. If he did, would you really want to stay married to someone who assaults you.

If you don't want to go as far as saying you won't continue, might you get in touch with the local Police DV unit and see if they can send someone to have a low key, friendly chat with him, to impress upon his that this really is an offence.

Some women do like it yes, but he knows that you don’t and have actively asked him more than once not to do it. I wouldn’t have sex with him if he continues to do this. Sounds like you won’t leave him no matter what but beware where this could head. He doesn’t respect you and thinks your body is his to do what he likes. Sickening behaviour. And yes I absolutely would end a relationship for someone disrespecting me like this. If you don’t see this as a big thing then that’s worrying.

Also when men change sexual behaviour (or women) there can be a reason - eg affair partner meaning they are having different kind of sex

Apart from the fact its assault....

Its fucking WEIRD that he would do something during sex he knows you dont like??
Would you do that to someone you love? No. He doesnt love or respect you. You said no, he continued. He should be apologising for being a dick. Why do you think him assaulting you during sex isnt reason enough to break up a marriage (not that you need a reason, if you dont want to be in a relationship anymore, thats it)

OP it is not what he did but how he reacted when you told him to stop and that you did not like it that matters. He is totally rude and disrespectful, that is the problem. He does not take you seriously and does not think he should stop doing whatever you said you did not like. That is not just one thing you are talking about, it is a whole personality trait and a behavior that is seriously wrong and I would feel very uncomfortable living with such a man.

It is abusive and he is assaulting you. You aren't playing the victim, you are the victim.

I find it really quite worrying that he laughs about sexually abusing you.

That's a pretty nasty, shaming comment @YellowTreeHouse Plus you have it the wrong way round - it is for the person who wants to try new things in the bedroom to ask consent before they introduce the new thing, not for the other person to be surprised by it or to have to say no after it's introduced.

If someone wants to "spice things up", they should discuss it with their partner, especially painful activities - just going in and doing it without consent is wrong.

Thank
you all,
really appreciate the comments

I know what I'd do with HIS arse. Kick it into orbit.

I wouldnt stick around in a relationship with someone who disrespected my body and my wishes in that way.
Sounds to me like hes been influenced by porn.

Im thinking this @Wafflesnsniffles

If its porn he intonid suggest you stick stick something vast up his arse the next time he's in the throws as you own his arse.

What a wanker

The thing is, if he gets away with this, how can you stop him escalating?

If you aren't allowed to say no to this, what can you say no to?
If he enjoys this, maybe he'll enjoy pinching you. Or throttling you. Or pulling your hair.

And I find it really offensive that he's mocking you for asking him to stop, and denying you bodily autonomy.

Honestly my blood runs cold thinking about it.

I may struggle with money as a single mum, but at least I don't have to put up with anyone vile in my lovely home.

I'd hazard a guess that the relationship will be over soon anyway. If it's a new behaviour, it marks that point where the misogyny and resentment kick in. Closely followed by "The Script".

Why are you here if you're not open to advise? Sounds like you've already mind your mind up to stay with the disrespectful abusive misogynist pos 🤷‍♀️

And he sounds porn addled to me. Raise your standards and get rid

100% agree with what @picklemewalnuts said.

I would be concerned what he would do next if he isn’t listening to you now, clearly doesn’t respect you.